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Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/5/2005 8:11:16 PM

AtYOURserv1ce

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i switched my handle because i didn't want emails from other Dom's....well i'm still getting them, but i'm trying to make it clear i think i found my Master. or...the Master i want to serve. but tasks/tests....they're all a part of training right? Even if you havn't met in person yet? If anyone can give me advice, please email me. Thank you

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/5/2005 9:06:40 PM

Sarahe195

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Joined: 1/5/2005
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To me its normal to have tasks and/or test. He is testing you to see how obediant you are and/or how willing you are to do things for him. As long as he isn't trying to push any limits or asking you do anything that unrealistis try and do them. If you find that you are having a problem with something that he is asking of you, go to him and respectfully ask that he change it or explain what he wants farther. If you still have peoblems with it tell him! Above and behond all else he is not a mind reader and neither are you.

~Sarah

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/6/2005 2:56:24 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
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Yes Tasks and tests are a normal occurance....although be careful some on here just want a solely online experience....for me its R/t or nothing at all....

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/6/2005 5:43:02 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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For me tasks and tests are nothing but silly affectations by a guy who can't just relax and get to know you but needs to force something to make you "feel sub" while distracting you from asking the serious questions to actually get to know his personality and style.

But if you like tasks and tests more, then go for it.

My guess is that if you're asking this question, you're probably going too fast. My advice is that new people should wait at LEAST 6 months before committing to someone. Read the boards and you'll see why.

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/6/2005 8:24:13 AM

cellogrrlMK

Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

For me tasks and tests are nothing but silly affectations by a guy who can't just relax and get to know you but needs to force something to make you "feel sub" while distracting you from asking the serious questions to actually get to know his personality and style.

But if you like tasks and tests more, then go for it.

My guess is that if you're asking this question, you're probably going too fast. My advice is that new people should wait at LEAST 6 months before committing to someone. Read the boards and you'll see why.

EmeraldSlave2, you RULE!

cello

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/6/2005 8:39:27 PM

lil1v

Posts: 125
Joined: 4/4/2005
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When I was at the "interviewing" stage with a Dom friend of mine, he would give me tasks or "suggestions" of things to do that day and would ask me to detail how I accomplished them.

For us it was a way for him to see how I did things, what I liked, how I thought.. etc.. well I suppose it was also to see if I'd obey, but that wasn't so much the point as we'd known each other for a while and if he'd had any concern about my obediance I doubt I'd have made it to the "interview" stage.

I think if you're concerned that its going to fast, you really need to communicate that with your "Master"... If anything, it will clear the air between you two and you'll get to see how he reacts to your feelings and thoughts. Unless you're unbelievably gifted.. or your Master is.. neither of you are mind readers.

Just my opinion

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V

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/6/2005 11:47:26 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

For me tasks and tests are nothing but silly affectations by a guy who can't just relax and get to know you but needs to force something to make you "feel sub" while distracting you from asking the serious questions to actually get to know his personality and style.

Yes! Yes yes yes yes!

"tests" leave me really really cold. I guess I don't like the idea of making someone proove they are "worthy" of serving. I dunno. Maybe that works for some people. To me, it shows and ego I don't want to deal with. I guess I don't want to be seen as worthy OR unworthy.

I'm odd in that I want to go into a relationship as equals -then- establish the power dynamic. I like it to be two people meeting, liking each other's minds, then establishing a hierarchy of power that existss -because- they were equals first. Make any sense?

Tests, to me, undermine that. They get in the way of the actual, important takling and relating that, I think, should happen.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/7/2005 7:08:06 AM

ARoseAndAnEye

Posts: 67
Joined: 12/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

For me tasks and tests are nothing but silly affectations by a guy who can't just relax and get to know you but needs to force something to make you "feel sub" while distracting you from asking the serious questions to actually get to know his personality and style.

But if you like tasks and tests more, then go for it.

My guess is that if you're asking this question, you're probably going too fast. My advice is that new people should wait at LEAST 6 months before committing to someone. Read the boards and you'll see why.

One more on your side, Emeraldslave.

i'm not one for "casual play" with strangers. i'm a firm believer in (1) you cannot submit to someone who you just plain don't know, and (2) you absolutely need to get to know that person s-l-o-w-l-y (remember they need to get to know you too).

i also believe that play is a progression of sorts. a foundation of trust needs to be built, it doesn't just appear out thin air. Limits and boundaries need to be discovered betwen the partners. Perhaps others disagree, but i cannot submit to someone holding a whip or other instrument that could cause me harm (or, yes, in the wrong hands, even death), when that person is essentially a stranger in my heart.

~ anna

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/7/2005 8:01:57 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARoseAndAnEye

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

For me tasks and tests are nothing but silly affectations by a guy who can't just relax and get to know you but needs to force something to make you "feel sub" while distracting you from asking the serious questions to actually get to know his personality and style.

But if you like tasks and tests more, then go for it.

My guess is that if you're asking this question, you're probably going too fast. My advice is that new people should wait at LEAST 6 months before committing to someone. Read the boards and you'll see why.

One more on your side, Emeraldslave.

i'm not one for "casual play" with strangers. i'm a firm believer in (1) you cannot submit to someone who you just plain don't know, and (2) you absolutely need to get to know that person s-l-o-w-l-y (remember they need to get to know you too).

i also believe that play is a progression of sorts. a foundation of trust needs to be built, it doesn't just appear out thin air. Limits and boundaries need to be discovered betwen the partners. Perhaps others disagree, but i cannot submit to someone holding a whip or other instrument that could cause me harm (or, yes, in the wrong hands, even death), when that person is essentially a stranger in my heart.

~ anna

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARoseAndAnEye
One more on your side, Emeraldslave.

It's not about sides, but it's cool to have agreement.

quote:

i'm not one for "casual play" with strangers. i'm a firm believer in (1) you cannot submit to someone who you just plain don't know, and (2) you absolutely need to get to know that person s-l-o-w-l-y (remember they need to get to know you too).

I'm actually the complete opposite. I casually play with virtual strangers regularly and can submit to someone the Owner requires without having met them before. While I wouldn't be "their submissive" I certainly would submit to their authority.

quote:

i also believe that play is a progression of sorts. a foundation of trust needs to be built, it doesn't just appear out thin air. Limits and boundaries need to be discovered betwen the partners. Perhaps others disagree, but i cannot submit to someone holding a whip or other instrument that could cause me harm (or, yes, in the wrong hands, even death), when that person is essentially a stranger in my heart.
~ anna

Sometimes. For me I play casually and quickly if I feel a connection, it's not a problem for me.

But it's just a difference in styles and preferences, yours is every bit as valid as mine.

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/7/2005 8:03:38 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
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After many players and wannabes (not saying your dom is either) you begin to catch on that you're serving as whack material...it gets real old real fast.
Get to know the person first before you begin submitting to tests and tasks...he needs to prove his worthiness as much as you have to prove yours.

best of luck in your search!

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 4/7/2005 9:12:02 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

but tasks/tests....they're all a part of training right? Even if you havn't met in person yet?

it is hard to answer your questions from the little bit of information that u have provided.

task: a piece of work or assignment, especially one that is important
test: a basis for evaluating or judging something or somebody
(MSN-Encarta-Dictionary)

this slave has tasks assigned to her daily and also tasks that are required of her and were agreed upon when she accepted His collar. she looks forward to them and does them because it makes Master happy and couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of them.

this slave is not aware of any "tests" that she had to pass to prove herself other than the actual real-time meeting that took place after 2 weeks of getting to know each other through online and phone conversations. this slave believes that was an important test--is this girl serious enough about wanting to have a real-time relationship (and for that matter, is she really a girl?!!

) that she will meet in person? serving "online" is not something this slave or Master was interested in.

what sort of tasks or tests is this Master you would like to serve requesting of you? is He attempting to introduce you to the protocol He will expect once you are His property?
is He requesting a "task" that will require a certain amount of effort on your part such as addressing Him in a particular manner or written daily journal that you submit to Him at the end of each day or does He want a deposit of a large sum of money into His bank account as a "test" of your sincerity before He will meet with you in person? this slave would be wary of the latter.

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 5/19/2005 12:38:45 PM

ggonknees

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

My guess is that if you're asking this question, you're probably going too fast. My advice is that new people should wait at LEAST 6 months before committing to someone. Read the boards and you'll see why.

If nothing else, i've learnt that real quickly.
Do follow this advice even if you think you are ready, you probably aren't. Although the learning curve has been part of the fun.

As for tasks, interesting point Emeraldslave makes - that he's not getting to know you and your personality....something worth taking on board. But then i adore the tasks - certainly made me feel closer to Him when i wasn't with him. (Although if you see my issue in my most recent thread on Rape in Training you'll see why what EmeraldSlave says it particularly poignant).

Oh well, i'll get there...i think!
gg

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RE: Am i jumping into this too quickly? - 5/19/2005 8:29:37 PM

junecleaver

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I guess I just don't put much importance on protocol. I've never had a task and I hope I never do. It's like romantizing the idea of just doing what you are told. And I certainly wouldn't do what I was told until I absolutely knew and trusted the person. Anyone who thought that I would submit before establishing a semi-serious relationship, obviously misjudged me.

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