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do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 7:26:36 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

i know we've done to death recently the "does age equal experience" topics, and arguing -about- age restrictions, but i wanted to approach this from a bit of a different vantage point...seeing -why- people come up with the ages they do, for restrictions, and what prompts those who don't have them, not to have them. i find how people approach age difference when looking for someone, or within a relationship, to be pretty interesting.

do you have age restrictions for those who contact you (such as only 18-30, etc.)? if you do, is this because you've found that the people in that age range tend to click with you more, or is it for another reason (and what)? what about being with someone outside of your range turns you off? do you only stick to answering emails from people in that range? do you think having restrictions has helped or hindered you in your search?

if you do not have restrictions, why not? what are your feelings on age gap relationships (especially large ones), and would you consider entering into one? do you think not having restrictions has helped or hindered you in your search?

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

Post #: 1

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 7:46:58 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

Hello. =) In my dating years, I was always open to a wide range of ages but preferred my own general age group. It wasn't exactly a requirement, more like an added bonuc. =)

I think my age preference had little to do with maturity level or experience and more to do with generational things in common. it's just more attractive to me if a man is "into" the same general things as I am. For example... before I met the Mister, I was dating a very nice gentleman who was 47. Great guy... but he HATED my taste in everything. Movies, music. It wasn't his fault, we just came from different generational backgrounds, that's all.

And that was how it was with practically all of the men that were significantly older or younger then I. although... I have dated young guys before, they were a blast, but in the end, we were in just much different places, lol.

Stella

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 2

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 7:54:04 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
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WE have a minimum of 21 with the upper level open for discussion..bounty

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Post #: 3

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 7:55:41 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I know I've said this a number of times on these forums. I will not date anyone I could have given birth to or that could have fathered me. Why? There are a couple of reasons. One is that we just don't have common experiences and interests to talk about. But the other is probably much more important to me. As a child I was the victim of incest with my step-grandfather. Anything that comes close to incest, even when it comes to the age of the person, squicks me a LOT. I just can't do it.

Oh yeah, there is the other reason I don't do much younger men. Every one I've talked to ended up admitting that they liked the idea of dominanting someone their mother's age *because* they were the same age as their mother. Um....no thank you. I do not want someone who is furious with his mother using me as his "mom" punching bag. I'm not a masochist to begin with and I'm sure not going to take someone else's abuse.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 4

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 8:00:51 AM

shysubbie

Posts: 21
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

I was also open to about 15 years younger than myself, but I found that I had nothing real to talk about with him - by that I mean things that were important to me during my lifetime.

Now, I try to stay within a year or two younger, about five to ten years older. It's more a comfort zone than much younger or much older. Men of that age remember things (of national or world importance, or moral codes, etc.) with the same sense thaat I do.

And, I never wanted to be with anyone younger than my own offspring. That always felt just.. yucky.

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

Post #: 5

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 8:04:50 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie
Oh yeah, there is the other reason I don't do much younger men. Every one I've talked to ended up admitting that they liked the idea of dominanting someone their mother's age *because* they were the same age as their mother. Um....no thank you. I do not want someone who is furious with his mother using me as his "mom" punching bag. I'm not a masochist to begin with and I'm sure not going to take someone else's abuse.

i think this is an interesting point. while i have a different experience from stella - i prefer older men, and consider that an added bonus, for reasons i'll discuss in a minute - i would also not want to be dominated by someone who looked at me like his daughter. one of the reasons our relationship works very well is that he does not associate me in any way shape or form with his relationship with his daughters. lizzie - thanks for bringing this up - i think it is a really good point (just the whole idea of age being a basis on which to use someone to work out some sort of fantasy).

to answer my own questions...there is a 35 year age gap between myself and Him, and honestly, it's the best relationship i have had (which, i know, at my age, is not saying much - but it is something). we have a lot of differences due to age - we approach problem solving in different ways, etc. - but also many differences simply due to our personality and the lifestyle we lived before getting together. i do not have a specific age range when seeking (online or offline), because i do tend to gravitate towards older men, mainly because my experiences with men my age have not been rewarding. that said, i do work hard not to discriminate against people closer in age to me simply based on their age. i definitely believe that age gap relationships -can- work, and as i've shown, i don't have any problems being in one...i'm not really sure whether my lack of age restriction has helped or hindered me in my search, though. it's done both, i think, although i am glad that i don't have any upper age limit because if i did, i might not have the relationship i do now.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 6

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 8:13:47 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

While I'd consider just about anyone, when I search for men I tend to search 24-40. I find that I am most attracted to men who are younger than me or just a few years older. When I search for women, I tend to search for 30 to 45. I tend to like women who are older or a just a few years younger. Not sure why, and, like I said, I'd consider anyone who contacted me if they seemed to fit. After all, my girl is in her 50s. ;-)

Master Fire

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(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 7

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 8:20:44 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i have dated both ends of the age spectrum (youngest being 20 and oldest being 55). i've met 20 to 30 something yr olds who were mature and goal-oriented than some in my age group and the same could be said for those who are older than me, a few did act like they were in their 20s or 30s which didn't bother me. however i do have a cut-off age preference though i don't mind meeting someone who's younger than 30 but definitely no one under 25 - dated one guy who said i was more fun than his mother (LOL). since i'm permitted to date, i'm seeking someone close to my age and/or older.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 8

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 8:29:28 AM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

Interesting perspective of age, hisannabelle,

quote:

do you have age restrictions for those who contact you (such as only 18-30, etc.)? if you do, is this because you've found that the people in that age range tend to click with you more, or is it for another reason (and what)?

At this point of my journey, I am searching to be a slave in a 24/7 TPE relationship, I needed someone that would be compatible and understanding of the two blessings in my life.

So, this was the first time I had a preferred age range in my search. My range was still pretty wide even with this type of life in mind, range of (30-50), which I am 39 years old. This range was not a hard restriction especially at the upper end of the age bracket, and exceptions were based on case by case basis.

Before this point, was not really as cognizant of the age factor.

I’ve always gravitated towards older Doms, but didn’t want a Master that’s barely over the age of my two blessings.

quote:

what about being with someone outside of your range turns you off? do you only stick to answering emails from people in that range? do you think having restrictions has helped or hindered you in your search?

Turn off’s are based on personal preferences and I wouldn’t say it was a turn off at all to be attracted to older Dominants.

Age doesn’t generally matter to me if I am attracted to the person; however the exception to that for me, much younger Doms can be a turn off, so I may not have taken the time to get to know to even see if I was attracted to the person (sorry, seems like a contradiction or double standard).

I’ve been with older than preferred age range and truly didn’t see the age difference or feel the age difference.

quote:

do you think not having restrictions has helped or hindered you in your search?

I’ve had an awesome journey and I don’t think age has been a factor.

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

Post #: 9

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 8:30:05 AM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

no i just ask that they are over 18 or over and are mature as in that they act like they are an adult .

ross.g

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pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

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Post #: 10

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 8:35:25 AM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

when I search for men I tend to search 24-40. I find that I am most attracted to men who are younger than me or just a few years older. When I search for women, I tend to search for 30 to 45.

This is so interesting you have a different age preference for gender...

Now looking within my own preference, I see I am attracted to women around my age and not a wide age range as with men.

Wow, I learned something about myself today!
(big scholarly grin)

< Message edited by curiouslyseeking -- 3/18/2007 8:51:19 AM >

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"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

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Post #: 11

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 8:48:04 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

I don't really have an age preference... but if I were single again and looking I'd probably restrict the age ranges just for peace of mind. My owner and I have a 21 year age difference, which isn't so much of an issue except he will die 20 years before me which is kind of a bad thing.

C~

Edited to add: I haven't looked into a crystal ball and determined this, its just thats the way the odds will work out.

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
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(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 12

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 9:11:08 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

Heheh... this thread brings up some fond memories of my 30th year. I had lost a ton of weight, newly divorced, lookin' damn hot. My ex was taking the Ums every other weekend, so I had a ton more free time.

Oh. My. Gosh. All of a sudden, they were everywhere. Young guys. Fine hot-bodied horny fun loving guys. I mean they just came out of the woodwork, and yes, I was more then willing, lol. That was a great year. =)

<humming Mrs. Robinson>
Stella

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 13

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 9:21:26 AM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

I am really looking for ages 40 -50. I am 53. Any younger would be in My sister's age range and even she and I have different generational things going on in spite of the same upbringing. Men My age have a tendency to look older than they actually are, and it's becomes an aesthetic thing with Me. Older for the same reason.

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A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 14

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 9:53:28 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

I'm not interested in a casual relationship. In order to have a full relationship that will hopefully last the rest of my life I need to have certain commonalities with my partner. That includes shared experiences that effected us such as the assasination of Kennedy, the Vietnam War which caused huge upheavals in the country, etc.

I also need us to be on the same page in terms of life. A man twenty years my junior will be wanting his own family. I'm approaching the empty nest. A man twenty years my elder will be uninterested in helping raise my adolescents and indeed, without the strength to deal with that again.

I wanted someone I was compatible with in a lot of areas, not just sex and play. That means we listen to the same oldie station, I'm not willing to have Nine Inch Nails on high when with him, or worse rap. I get that enough from the younger members of the family.

Both sets of parents came through the Great Depression and WWII. Their experiences influenced our upbringings. Someone born after Woodstock would not have that same attitude that someone of my generation has.

(in reply to MiladyElaine)

Post #: 15

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 10:00:09 AM

Majik

Posts: 358
Joined: 4/24/2005
Status: offline

I tend to look for people in the 35-55 age range. More toward my own age. Although I would not rule out someone older or younger I just seem to go for those in this range. I look for someone who is grounded and responsible as well as mature, someone who knows themselves and are not wishy washy (have come across alot of those =P) and can carry on a decent convo and someone who has at least a few of my vanilla interests.

Wow...after re-reading this I sound like alot like a 'do mee' Domme. ~shakes head.

(in reply to MiladyElaine)

Post #: 16

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 10:11:18 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

i know we've done to death recently the "does age equal experience" topics, and arguing -about- age restrictions, but i wanted to approach this from a bit of a different vantage point...seeing -why- people come up with the ages they do, for restrictions, and what prompts those who don't have them, not to have them. i find how people approach age difference when looking for someone, or within a relationship, to be pretty interesting.

do you have age restrictions for those who contact you (such as only 18-30, etc.)? if you do, is this because you've found that the people in that age range tend to click with you more, or is it for another reason (and what)? what about being with someone outside of your range turns you off? do you only stick to answering emails from people in that range? do you think having restrictions has helped or hindered you in your search?

if you do not have restrictions, why not? what are your feelings on age gap relationships (especially large ones), and would you consider entering into one? do you think not having restrictions has helped or hindered you in your search?

Nobody under 18 for legal reasons and I prefer people to not be old enough to have sired me. However, I'm still open to it. Of course, I'm hoping to never be looking again! *grins*

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 17

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 10:31:25 AM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

For the first time in my life I'm imposing age restrictions. I'd like someone to grow old with, plain and simple. So for me it's a matter of reducing the risk of spending a lot of/any time alone or looking at the end of my life.

Previous to this I've never set any restrictions, and have had 4 Dom's and 2 subs ranging in age from 5 years younger to 52 years older. However, I've tended to get on best with people approximately 10 years older than me since we seem to have the most in common "culturally" as I was an early bloomer.

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
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(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 18

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 12:03:24 PM

bellaballanda

Posts: 62
Joined: 9/1/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mythi

I'd like someone to grow old with, plain and simple.

I think that sums up why I have age restrictions. They're "rough" guide lines, but it has to do with finding someone that could be forever....

(in reply to mythi)

Post #: 19

RE: do you have age restrictions? - 3/18/2007 12:11:11 PM

blushingflower

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

The first Dom I ever played with was old enough to be my father. So clearly, I don't have a problem with that. I do want to find someone I can marry and be with, so ideally, that someone will be within 10 years of me. I don't like dating people younger than me, though as I get older that may change. But when I did date someone younger than me, I tended to be the "mom", and I don't want that. I like someone who's older and more established, partly because that makes it easier to submit to them, and partly because, honestly, then I don't feel as guilty about them buying me dinner.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 20

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