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LaTigresse -> RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? (3/19/2007 9:19:40 AM)
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From one that does not, nor will ever ( in case I did in the past) whine about the lack of a "scene" in my area.......personally I do not care nor feel the need to belong to any group.
When I first began exploring this type of relationship I felt all adrift and alone. "OMG, I need to find more people like me to validate my existance!!!!!"
Now, to be quite honest I don't really care. I cannot imagine that anyone that just happens to be involved in D/s or BDSM would be all that much different than any other Iowan I know. And quite frankly, anytime you get a bunch of Iowan's together regardless of the common interest, it's not much different than a church social. Cliquish, materialistic, and very junior high mentality. The only local group I have had any contact with that really interested me as far as the people/personalities involved were a bit too goth and WAY too young. I felt like a dirty old lady.
There is a regular poster on the forums that expressed an interest in meeting soon after I began posting however I saw no reason. First of all, a male of the species, second of all...gorean strutting full of himself kinda guy, thirdly........I would rarely meet someone without getting to know them a bit first, especially a guy. And.....he never volunteered any personal information, not even WHERE in Iowa, to give me reason to feel comfortable in meeting him. Just sorta threw it out there as a challenge, rather like setting one up to fail.
I don't feel the need to be a part of a "community", it's just the way I am. Granted, it would be lovely to have a few friends that shared this interest but it is certainly not necessary. All of this, BDSM, Ds.......whatever you want to call it, is part of a much bigger thing for me. To me it is a facet of how I want a relationship to operate. Belonging to a group will not create that or change it. Oh sure, to go to a big club somewhere does hold a small interest. But no more so than any club in a great culturally diverse city like say, New Orleans. I guess I don't need to belong to a group to validate how I want my relationship to work.
I don't know if that makes any sense. It might, without the voice inflections or body language, sound snooty or something. If so, it's not my intent. I just know me, how I work inside. I am by nature a fairly private and low drama person. Groups, organizations, all of that sort of thing tends to by nature be high drama, gossipy and just get on my nerves. I end up telling someone they are making a fool of themself, usually the highest drama bitch in the group........next thing you know I am creating a whole new drama by my very lack of bullshit tollerance. Or, on a good day I just walk out never to return again. I don't need the hassle or the headache.
However, if there exists within driving distance, a relatively sane person that just happens to share similar interests they are MORE than welcome to stop by the farm. We can sit around a fire, drink wine, listen to the coyotes and tell stupid stories or whup slaves by firelight. Whatever mood strikes.
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