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y'all scaring me - 3/18/2007 9:33:21 AM

unsung

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Joined: 12/23/2006
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This is an offshoot of 'pulling submissive teeth'.

Now your talking about decision making and I am looking at planning. Certainly when a household is planning their shopping trip they are making a list to reflect the needs of the household for the period of time between trips and hence all items are purchased prior to use so that if tonight you feel like blt's all the ingredients are there, and tomorrow you want fish the same. The expressed indecision or lack of decision making seems to stem from lack of household management planning. OMG tell me it isn't so, lol.

I am terrible with decisions but always just did what had to be done. At the end of the day dinner needs to be served, a few chores, as it is all part of the process I am confused aka getting scared here, as it seems the line is not drawn so that decisions are readily made because they are basic processes in life, the basic neccessities of life in a household. What am I missing here?

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RE: y'all scaring me - 3/18/2007 10:48:20 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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All the planning and prep in the world won't prevent you from coming home one night and thinking "OMG I can't handle fixing and then cleaning up at home tonight, we've gotta go out and relax."

If you live your life disciplined to the point that you'll still stay home and cook and clean NO MATTER WHAT, then yeah, you've got the issue taken care of at that point.

However, you still have to sit down and plan a menu together- whether it's that night or the week before, you'll still have the problem of asking "What do you want?" and a sub who hedges and avoids answering the direct question.

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RE: y'all scaring me - 3/18/2007 11:18:52 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: unsung

This is an offshoot of 'pulling submissive teeth'.

Now your talking about decision making and I am looking at planning. Certainly when a household is planning their shopping trip they are making a list to reflect the needs of the household for the period of time between trips and hence all items are purchased prior to use so that if tonight you feel like blt's all the ingredients are there, and tomorrow you want fish the same. The expressed indecision or lack of decision making seems to stem from lack of household management planning. OMG tell me it isn't so, lol.

Grocery shopping is not a problem for me. I know exactly we need. We need kitty litter, kitty food, toliet paper, supplies for a salad, a six pack of beer, some taco seasoning, hamburger meat, steak if it's on a good sale, a bag of frozen chicken breast, a variety pack of ramen, a huge pack of chicken ramen, egg noodles, supplies for greek omelettes, supplies for pasta sauce.... So on and so forth. I can get this task done very easily.

However, that doesn't prevent me, when asked what I want for dinner, responding with "I don't know. What do you want?"

quote:

I am terrible with decisions but always just did what had to be done. At the end of the day dinner needs to be served, a few chores, as it is all part of the process I am confused aka getting scared here, as it seems the line is not drawn so that decisions are readily made because they are basic processes in life, the basic neccessities of life in a household. What am I missing here?

I also have no problem getting chores done. The laundry has got to be washed, dried and put away. The carpet has to be vacuumed, the kitty litter has to be changed, I've got to put water in the degus' cage, clean the kitchen, mop the floor... whatever. Chores are easy.

Just please don't ask me what I want to eat in a restuarant. Please don't ask me to decide what I want to wear to a formal event in five minutes. And for the love of God, don't ask me what I want to do tonight. Most of the time I really don't know or I really don't care.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/18/2007 11:19:39 AM >

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RE: y'all scaring me - 3/18/2007 12:56:06 PM

MsOpal

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The overall household planning is one thing and part of my service to Argent is that he does not want to be bothered. At times I will ask if there is somethign he'd enjoy that perhaps we have not had in a while, but in general food, cleaning items, personal toiletries are all mine to select, purchase and make sure they are all where he expcets them to be when he needs them. But - on a day we might be driving to and from town together, might both be tired and not want to face the long drive plus cooking plus cleaning up and he says "where would you like to eat?" ... that's different. My problem is that I know my most favorite places are not his - so do I pick mine and know he will not be real thrilled? Do i pick a place he will like? It almost makes me have a short circuit!

Now- change channels and I am out with a "boy" - I can tell him exactly where we are going, no problem.

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RE: y'all scaring me - 3/18/2007 2:46:23 PM

Celeste43

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From: NYS
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Don't spring the decisions on me at the last minute. Example; he asked me to pick a fancy restaurant for my birthday but he asked me two weeks ahead. That way I had time to look at their menus and could make the decision when I wasn't stressed. If he had asked me that morning I don't know if I could have handled it.

Decision making can be difficult for me so I need more time than he does. Which is why grocery shopping here means I write stuff down on the list when it occurs to me, I don't get there and have to figure out immediately what I might want later. Of course the downside is that dinner menus tend to be repetitive.

I can handle things if given enough time. And that means enough time for me, not what would be enough time for him.

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