|
Elorin -> RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? (3/19/2007 10:09:44 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Wanderlusty
I have noticed that a lot of male Doms' profiles talk about using their sub or slave. Some say their sub is there for them to use and that the sub's purpose is to pleasure the Dom.
The reason I submit is that I crave bringing pleasure to him. I want to make him proud of me (pleasure in having a possession he is proud of), I want to give him physical pleasure, I want to relieve him of tasks that he does not like. So yes, my purpose in my role as submissive IS to please my Dom. But being submissive is not my only role. As long as he respects that and doesn't take the "you are here to please me" attitude when I am at work, with my parents, or with my child, it works. And he doesn't. Otherwise, I wouldn't want to be his submissive.
quote:
The way they write some of these things, gives the impression that the sub can only expect to get pleasure purely from the act of self sacrifice in pleasuring the Dom, and that the sub should not expect to recieve but only to give.
I can see how you would read that. And I have run into those who feel that it doesn't matter if the sub enjoys him/herself or not. Ever. That the Dom always comes first. I wouldn't ever be in a relationship with someone like that. Sir and I agree that his wants and pleasures come first, and that I should never EXPECT to get pleasure...but that I often do, which is why I am willing to let him set the schedule for getting it.
But I'm confused about how pleasuring a Dom means self sacrifice? For many subs, getting a chance to please their Dom isn't self sacrifice, it is privilege, and delight. When I get an opportunity to scratch his back, rub his feet, or suck on a fingertip and I know I've pleased him - I have sacrificed nothing. I'm excited at having gotten a chance to please him!
As for not receiving, only giving - well, some of us DO receive when we give. That's why we submit.
quote:
Is this objectification?
Sometimes. And then it's even MORE fun!
quote:
Do some subs find this terminology appealing?
Absolutely. I've encountered both male and female subs whose stated desires were to be turned into sex objects, used only for my pleasure, never considering their own pleasure. Since I don't work that way and would only do this for an occasional scene, I've turned them away. But there is no doubt that the use you, don't expect me to cater to you, yada yada terminology appeals to some.
quote:
What is in it for the sub?
See above...but also, for some there is a fantasy that when the work day is over, they go home and someone else takes charge. Being USED reinforces that they don't make the rules, and it's not all about them. This is a relief. Also, objectification and humiliation (like realizing that whether you cum or not doesn't matter) really pushes some people's buttons.
~E
|
|
|
|
