RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub??

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 6:03:21 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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If we're talking pure sexual use, then it's hot. Having him grab me, shove me down and attack me for his physical gratification sends me the message that he finds me so overwhelmingly desirable that he can't control himself another minute. Usually I do enjoy the encounter physically myself but even if for whatever reason I don't, I still enjoy the ego boost.

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 7:10:42 AM

StellaByStarlite

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

If we're talking pure sexual use, then it's hot. Having him grab me, shove me down and attack me for his physical gratification sends me the message that he finds me so overwhelmingly desirable that he can't control himself another minute. Usually I do enjoy the encounter physically myself but even if for whatever reason I don't, I still enjoy the ego boost.

Amen. my owner has developed the habit of rolling me over first thing in the morning and having his way when I'm still half asleep. It's wonderful and sets off a nice "tone" for the day. In my case, it's a major turn-on that he's so matter of fact about it. Like he's saying " you're my property and it's my right to slake my sexual needs at my whim". I don't normally orgasm from these pre-dawn encounters, but I'll think about them throughout the day and get all warm and tingly. =)

Stella

(in reply to Celeste43)

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 7:14:53 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

If we're talking pure sexual use, then it's hot. Having him grab me, shove me down and attack me for his physical gratification sends me the message that he finds me so overwhelmingly desirable that he can't control himself another minute. Usually I do enjoy the encounter physically myself but even if for whatever reason I don't, I still enjoy the ego boost.

Amen. my owner has developed the habit of rolling me over first thing in the morning and having his way when I'm still half asleep. It's wonderful and sets off a nice "tone" for the day. In my case, it's a major turn-on that he's so matter of fact about it. Like he's saying " you're my property and it's my right to slake my sexual needs at my whim". I don't normally orgasm from these pre-dawn encounters, but I'll think about them throughout the day and get all warm and tingly. =)

Stella

What about this then?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_878974/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

Ross
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(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 7:27:48 AM

StellaByStarlite

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Hi, SirD. =)

Hmmm. My owner and I have discussed rape scenarios before, and I'm not entirely sure if he's comfortable with it yet. Mostly because he's a big, big guy and understandably cautious of accidently damaging me, lol.

Knifeplay is also on "the list" of future exploration for us. It's just a matter of us both being emotionally ready for things like that. We're taking things very slowly.

but yeah, the scenario you described was pretty hot, imo. =)

Stella

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 8:43:07 AM

Celeste43

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Nope, too rough for me. Would probably set off an anxiety attack. Besides those scenarios are the opposite of what I'm talking about.

Those are set up and planned in advance not you looking up from your magazine and having a sudden rush of lust. One of the hottest things he ever did was that he was leaning against the wall and we were talking idly while I folded some laundry. Between one moment and the next I was suddenly head down onto the clean laundry and he had me naked from the waist down. He just wanted me and took me, didn't think about it, just had to have me and did.

Now that's an overwhelming attack of lust and an incredible rush.

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 9:08:09 AM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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It can be seen as a form of objectification, yes. As for what the sub gets out of it, some people really are wired this way. Others are not. You simply have to decide which one is appropriate for you, then look for someone who matches it.

Master Fire

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 10:39:58 AM

lonlyrossInNeed

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i agree

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

the sub can only expect to get pleasure purely from the act of self sacrifice in pleasuring the Dom, and that the sub should not expect to recieve but only to give.

and this is wrong because????????????????

It is not wrong for those who like that and seek that, but many of us seek someone that will have a more balanced approach to life, and there is nothing wrong with this either.

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pain is a dagger in your heart

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 1:59:13 PM

slaveish

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Joined: 2/19/2007
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I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike being used. I also like being loved and cared for. Being used is hot, being loved and cared for is necessary.

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 3:21:20 PM

raevnn

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Nothing turns me on more than to be used, sexually... it's a double edged sword, of course, because I'm often not permitted an orgasm if I'm just being used. The intensity of it, however, knowing that I am nothing but an outlet for his pleasure, is sometimes better than any orgasm.

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RE: Dominants that want to USE a sub?? - 3/19/2007 10:09:44 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wanderlusty
I have noticed that a lot of male Doms' profiles talk about using their sub or slave. Some say their sub is there for them to use and that the sub's purpose is to pleasure the Dom.

The reason I submit is that I crave bringing pleasure to him. I want to make him proud of me (pleasure in having a possession he is proud of), I want to give him physical pleasure, I want to relieve him of tasks that he does not like. So yes, my purpose in my role as submissive IS to please my Dom. But being submissive is not my only role. As long as he respects that and doesn't take the "you are here to please me" attitude when I am at work, with my parents, or with my child, it works. And he doesn't. Otherwise, I wouldn't want to be his submissive.

quote:

The way they write some of these things, gives the impression that the sub can only expect to get pleasure purely from the act of self sacrifice in pleasuring the Dom, and that the sub should not expect to recieve but only to give.

I can see how you would read that. And I have run into those who feel that it doesn't matter if the sub enjoys him/herself or not. Ever. That the Dom always comes first. I wouldn't ever be in a relationship with someone like that. Sir and I agree that his wants and pleasures come first, and that I should never EXPECT to get pleasure...but that I often do, which is why I am willing to let him set the schedule for getting it.
But I'm confused about how pleasuring a Dom means self sacrifice? For many subs, getting a chance to please their Dom isn't self sacrifice, it is privilege, and delight. When I get an opportunity to scratch his back, rub his feet, or suck on a fingertip and I know I've pleased him - I have sacrificed nothing. I'm excited at having gotten a chance to please him!
As for not receiving, only giving - well, some of us DO receive when we give. That's why we submit.

quote:

Is this objectification?

Sometimes. And then it's even MORE fun!

quote:

Do some subs find this terminology appealing?

Absolutely. I've encountered both male and female subs whose stated desires were to be turned into sex objects, used only for my pleasure, never considering their own pleasure. Since I don't work that way and would only do this for an occasional scene, I've turned them away. But there is no doubt that the use you, don't expect me to cater to you, yada yada terminology appeals to some.

quote:

What is in it for the sub?

See above...but also, for some there is a fantasy that when the work day is over, they go home and someone else takes charge. Being USED reinforces that they don't make the rules, and it's not all about them. This is a relief. Also, objectification and humiliation (like realizing that whether you cum or not doesn't matter) really pushes some people's buttons.

~E

(in reply to Wanderlusty)

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