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MsKatHouston -> RE: Mis-communication between Mistresses and potential subs/slaves (3/19/2007 9:06:19 AM)
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I don't know, I think there probably is a disconnect on occasion for all the reasons you suggested. I would suggest that inexperience, though, might be the largest variable when it comes to a female dominant. Because, in my opinion, those of us who have experience tend to know what expectations are realistic and tend to know that instant gratification is not all it's chalked up to be. I think we also are well aware that we have the ability to pick and choose moreso than the male submissives and while we may not have unrealistic expectations, certainly most of us have high ones.
From the submissive male point of view, I would say desire for instant gratification is often the reason for some of the disconnect followed by inexperience. Again, with unrealistic expectations, I think most sub males can get what they want out of a D/s relationship from someone, though it may be harder and take more time.
For the most part, though, I think most submissives and dominants have a good idea of what they are looking for and approach their counterpart with respect and a genuine desire to enter into something solid. The problems I have had that are not related to simple incompatibility or lack of attraction come from those who are rude and have no social graces.
If a dominant and submissive can conduct themselves appropriately in vanilla life, without irritating all around them, they will likely do ok in the kink world too. Of course everyone has to go through the trial and error of whether or not someone is a good match for them. But, if everyone acts decently, the liklihood of at least finding a friend increases and the odds of setting up a good network increases.
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