MasterRobssara
Posts: 177
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline
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Are you having a "jellyfish bad day"?
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this, you may be in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad
day at work - think of this guy:
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 On FM
dial
in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a Worst Job Experience
Contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sis,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the
office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of
the
sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver >through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take
the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few
seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but
the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before
I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt
as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to
yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job" Now whenever
you
have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jelly fish bad day!
_____________________________
sara, slave to Master Rob.
"Men force that sexual side out of a girl; you can’t help but add a little sway of the hips, a toss of your hair, or extra puck in your lips when a true man is around." - Me!
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