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Frustration - 3/19/2007 4:46:31 PM

boundkitty

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Joined: 10/30/2006
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What do you do to deal with the frustration when you are looking to find someone and it's just not happening? I keep telling myself that I will find someone and just be patient, but it gets really hard to keep my spirits up sometimes.

boundkitty

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 5:24:14 PM

SweetSarijane

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Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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I can only answer for myself, but what worked for me was getting involved in local groups, attending events and making friends. It eased the frustration a lot, gave me a larger focus to work with, helped me get my bearings and calm down, and has brought a satisfaction of it's own. I'm out there, I'm learning, growing and experiencing and am slowly building a relationship.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 6:00:56 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Realize that at least half the relationship you are comparing yourself towards are complete bullshit dramafests which will blow up within a year.

Keep the faith, you don't want "a relationship" you want "the right relationship for you."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 6:35:51 PM

SimplyMichael

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A year? Wow, you are in a good mood tonight!

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 7:27:38 PM

goodlittlegirl28

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Joined: 1/8/2007
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you go about your day, and you focus on the things you have control over, and you smile. you never know who's looking. stay positive, it'll happen.

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You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Love people, not things. Use things, not people.

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 7:35:53 PM

MasterRobssara

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Master and I met exactly a year ago last week. smiles
I was collared at the time, but he kept talking (completely as friends and nothing more) then when that collar was over, he courted me, and I went to another man. And after that one, which was a huge mistake, he was still there, just as a friend ready to try again! If a man can have that type of patience to let me hop around with men he knew were not right for me, then there really is hope for everyone!

_____________________________

sara, slave to Master Rob.

"Men force that sexual side out of a girl; you can’t help but add a little sway of the hips, a toss of your hair, or extra puck in your lips when a true man is around." - Me!

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 7:48:56 PM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
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I don't know what you or anyone (or even I) can do except feel the frustration when it's there. Acknowledge it, but know that it will wane...and then return...and dissipate yet again...seems to be the way of life. Try to have as much fun as you can...enjoy what the lifestyle has to offer. Try not to pay too much attention to the nonsense. Get involved in community activities that you enjoy and stay focused on your well-being. And most of all-don't give this website too much of your energy...God knows I've made that mistake!

Be well, have fun, play safe,

MNN

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 7:50:33 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRobssara
Master and I met exactly a year ago last week. smiles
I was collared at the time, but he kept talking (completely as friends and nothing more) then when that collar was over, he courted me, and I went to another man. And after that one, which was a huge mistake, he was still there, just as a friend ready to try again! If a man can have that type of patience to let me hop around with men he knew were not right for me, then there really is hope for everyone!

Unfortunately three relationships in a year isn't a good track record. But you have to start a lifetime with someone at some poitn :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 8:43:12 PM

slaveish

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quote:

ORIGINAL: boundkitty

What do you do to deal with the frustration when you are looking to find someone and it's just not happening?

Hang out at the CM message boards while you bide your time, and then when you find someone, post flame fodder ... uhhhrrrr ... I mean cute anecdotes about your new relationship. Sounds like a total win-win.

~chuckle~

(Now here's the real advice. Hang out at the CM message boards while you bide your time. It's fun, with or without the flame fodder, and you might learn some new and interesting stuff.)

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: Frustration - 3/19/2007 8:56:04 PM

ncmaster75

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I think like others have said, be active and get to know people is the best way. For example, I've had a profile on here for awhile now, but only recently have been actively sending people messages and posting in the forums. Doing so I've gotten more messages in a month than I did in a year!

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RE: Frustration - 3/20/2007 7:29:45 AM

Celeste43

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Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write down must haves and dealbreakers on the other. Then think back over every relationship you ever had. Write down what were the top things that got you into that relationship on the must have side and the things that made you walk on the deal breaker side.

This will help you articulate to yourself exactly what you are looking for. Then go out looking for people who will be a good match for you. Read profiles and write to men you think might be compatible. Go to munches and talk to everyone. Tell your friends what kind of a man you're looking for, they might know someone who would match well with you even though he didn't match well with them.

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RE: Frustration - 3/20/2007 9:08:27 AM

littleone35

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The way i dealt with my frustrations was to talk to others and stay busy and exercise got the feel good hormones going. It took me a year to find my Master after my last Master died. We have been tgether a year last month. I know it is hard to wait, i wish you the best of luck.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Frustration - 3/20/2007 2:23:28 PM

boundkitty

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Thank you for the great suggestions and warm fuzzies. I'm practicing my patience, really I am.

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RE: Frustration - 3/20/2007 3:49:14 PM

amayos

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From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: boundkitty

What do you do to deal with the frustration when you are looking to find someone and it's just not happening? I keep telling myself that I will find someone and just be patient, but it gets really hard to keep my spirits up sometimes.

Your frustration is understandable, but it needn't be unending. Persistence and a clear understanding of what you seek will yield something someday. It may not be on your time table, however.

In my youth, I desired to submit, yet no matter where I turned, my search was met with disappointment and even derision. It is ironic now that sixteen years later I have crossed paths with a woman I would have killed for in my early twenties. It is strange how the diamond tilts sometimes, isn't it?

As infinite as the possibilities of the world stretch, it seems we arrive upon seasons that free or crystallize our paths, no matter how much we may try to enforce our will upon minds and events prior. I do not believe in fate so much as the virtue of one trusting in patience, of learning to see with the right spirit in one's heart, and knowing when the time has come to act. Things comes when they come.

Sugartime, by Susan Carol Hauser, is a wonderful book about sugaring, the time-honored process of collecting maple syrup, but its subtext speaks so well of the worthiness and pleasure found in patience. It's an interesting read, and can give one new philosophical perspectives about time as it relates to human happiness.

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