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Collar advice - 3/19/2007 9:32:39 PM

NorthsideBill

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Joined: 3/11/2007
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
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This sub I am interested in and I have just started to explore in this lifestyle together, and we are not sure about 24/7 yet, but want some type of definition to give us boundries for scene play and not scene time. We were thinking about a temporary collar that could be put on during play and taken off other times, but didn't want to offend anyone's sensibilities regarding removable collars at play parties and such. Has anyone else ever tried this? Any input? Or are we just overthinking this?

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RE: Collar advice - 3/19/2007 9:37:13 PM

Evanesce

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I think you're overthinking it. When you "collar" someone, you're claiming that person as your property. The physical collar really has little to do with this concept, other than being a symbol. In the meantime, if you want to put a collar on her when you play and take it off when you're done, it's not really considered to be "collaring" unless you choose to view it that way. It will have however much or little significance you choose to give it.

I put a collar on a sub when I play with him, but I have yet to collar one.

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RE: Collar advice - 3/19/2007 9:49:50 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthsideBill
This sub I am interested in and I have just started to explore in this lifestyle together, and we are not sure about 24/7 yet, but want some type of definition to give us boundries for scene play and not scene time. We were thinking about a temporary collar that could be put on during play and taken off other times, but didn't want to offend anyone's sensibilities regarding removable collars at play parties and such. Has anyone else ever tried this? Any input? Or are we just overthinking this?

Don't worry about it, play collars are quite common and even if they weren't, who cares? It's your collar, you get to do with it what you want. If a person's sensibilities are so sensitive, they shouldn't be in an adult party anyway.

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RE: Collar advice - 3/19/2007 10:58:21 PM

BeachMystress

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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As they said, it is very common to have a sub with a play collar. I had toy get a special collar for play times after we'd been together a month. (He didn't get his training collar till a month before we married and is working his way to a formal collar over the course of four years.) Putting the play collar on and taking it off for a scene is still a very emotional point for both of us. The one time I forgot to take it off before we went to bed in the evening, he woke me in the morning before he went to work so I could remove it. Even though it is just a play time collar, he didn't feel right taking it off.

You can check out these links to get an idea of what play collars are out there. Ours is the 3 Ring Jeweled whiplaced Collar http://leathercellar.com/jewels1.html#3 with blue agate instead of the purple stones. The quality is excelent and it has held up well to several years of use.
http://leathercellar.com/index1.html
http://www.detailstoys.com/collars.html
http://www.blackmarketchicago.com/fetishstore/catalog/Collars_Slave_Collars_page_1.html
http://www.fetish-n-leather.com/collars/collars1.htm
http://www.kittenstoyroom.com/xcart/catalog/collars__chokers-p-1-c-40.html
http://www.stormyleather.com/subcatmfgprod.asp?0=298&1=320&2=-1
http://www.fetish.0catch.com/collars.htm
http://store.erosboutique.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=erosbout&Category_Code=collars
http://www.dungeondelights.com/page3.html

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RE: Collar advice - 3/20/2007 6:39:03 AM

Celeste43

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I have a leather play collar. I also have a necklace I wear the rest of the time. If you want to show others that she is not available at a party then certainly putting a play collar on ahead of time is a wise idea. Although be aware that some people may assume it's just a fashion statement and others just have no manners.

Some subs have a choice of several collars which they wear to match different outfits. I've seen some very dressy black velvet, lace and bead ones that are only suitable for formal occasions and would be inappropriate for someone in jeans and tee shirt watching their UM's basketball game. Just like a heavy leather one would look out of place if you were wearing a bridesmaid's dress. Collaring is in the mind, not in the accessory.

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RE: Collar advice - 3/20/2007 6:39:39 AM

NorthsideBill

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Thanks a lot for the links, I will check them out. I think the subby and I are heading towards something like what you have. Its pretty cool and a great feeling, but also a little scary which is good because it will keep me on my toes

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RE: Collar advice - 3/20/2007 1:00:00 PM

Suleiman

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The so-called "play collar" is a staple for differentiating scene from real life. As long as you and your partner have some clear signal, whether it's an article of clothing or a piece of jewelry or some other readily identifiable item, you can put on and take off the D/s persona at the drop of a hat (literally!)

My wife and I frequently use things like this as a way of signalling that we'd like a little attention (but think the other might actually be busy with something right now, or we just don't feel like asking verbally)

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RE: Collar advice - 3/20/2007 2:10:31 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthsideBill

This sub I am interested in and I have just started to explore in this lifestyle together, and we are not sure about 24/7 yet, but want some type of definition to give us boundries for scene play and not scene time. We were thinking about a temporary collar that could be put on during play and taken off other times, but didn't want to offend anyone's sensibilities regarding removable collars at play parties and such. Has anyone else ever tried this? Any input? Or are we just overthinking this?

That's what I do when I play casually (very very rarely) or when I'm training. I also have a ritual for putting it on and taking it off to help each of us get grounded in the appropriate roles. And I use titles or different names for those in-scene and out-of-scenes times.

I haven't done this for years now though so this is from my memory.

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RE: Collar advice - 3/20/2007 2:37:27 PM

goodpet

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You are on the right track with the collar to set aside a time and mindset for the scene.

I think over time you will find that it has use for defining the time together. I would suggest that down the road when you are ready to claim owership, collar as Master/slave (or Dom/sub or whatever) that you find a new special collar for that. Don't use the scene collar for that meaning..

Many Tops have a scene collar to use for temp service, play or for a scene. helps set the mood and frame of mind.

Come up with a little ritual or saying to make it have meaning when you put it on and off.

enjoy

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RE: Collar advice - 3/20/2007 2:59:36 PM

NorthsideBill

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I am glad to see that so many people are thinking like I do about the collar. I agree it is very useful as a grounding device and for getting into the right mindset before a scene and out of it afterwards. And also that if we ever do decide to go for a full time collaring, which is likely in my opinion so far, we will both pick out a new one that we both like.

goodpet, i do like the idea of a ritual for putting it on and taking it off very much. Thanks :)

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RE: Collar advice - 3/21/2007 5:25:54 PM

nephandi

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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Hi

i persnonaly have several collars, i can find one that fit my outfit. For me and Master the physical collar is not inportant and i do not always wear one, it is the mental one that counts.

Have a wonderful day.

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