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Online communication - 4/7/2005 2:33:52 PM   
softysub


Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline 		Hello:

I was wondering if any of the subs/slaves had an issue with their Master/Mistress/Dom/me about online communication.

In the past a few years back, i had a Master and everytime W/we were online together, He would simply not pay attention to what i was typing, not even noticing that i was asking a question.....rarely asked me how i was doing and when i would ask what He was doing, He replied that He was talking to one of His ex-sub.

I am not the jealous type, but at the end, i felt like i wasnt important enough for Him to pay attention to me, nor would He not reply to my emails.

So, what i am asking is how did you deal with this type of situation?

thanks

softysub
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Online communication - 4/7/2005 3:17:13 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		If he was talking to his ex everyday then she wasn't really an ex. He wasn't over her and she wasn't over him.
I'm not sure if that was your question, but here is how I would deal with it, move on. Find someone in real life that pays attention to you face to face.

(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Online communication - 4/7/2005 4:14:58 PM   
softysub


Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline 		i did moved on but this brought up another question. If the sub/slave has to be attentive to her Dom/me while online, isnt it the same for Them?

Also, alot of time they would go offline without saying bye........how rude! I put those in file-13 (ignore list)


(in reply to siamsa24)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Online communication - 4/7/2005 4:23:46 PM   
lil1v


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		I've done online communication for many years ... among other things..

If this Master and you were in an online relationship, or long distance even, where your primary mode of conversation was the internet. I would just get the hell out of dodge, as that type of behavior doesn't signify that he cares about you and would rather talk to others. You deserve better than that.

If this Master and you had a rt relationship, and discussed things offline with you.. then maybe he wanted to "get away" and relax a bit online. (Though I highly doubt that, since you didn't mention it)

The guy sounds like an idiot who wasn't "that into you" and just wanted to keep you on the back burner until something better panned out.

But over all... I'd be less concerned about who he's talking to, and more concerned that he doesn't feel the need to talk to you. Its just a sign of lack of respect or human decentcy.



_____________________________

V



(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Online communication - 4/7/2005 4:31:46 PM   
lil1v


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softysub
If the sub/slave has to be attentive to her Dom/me while online, isnt it the same for Them?

Also, alot of time they would go offline without saying bye........how rude! I put those in file-13 (ignore list)





well depends on who you talk to... but personally.. If i'm held up to a "courtesy" standard so had they better be as well. If I'm expected to ask permission to leave, then they'd better let me know when they're afk as well. If I'm expected to be on time or call ahead and warn the Dom, then I expect that same courtesy back.

Rudeness doesn't make you more "Dom" it just makes you a jackass.

But then.. many have called me a _itch as well... and I've been told I'm not a sub. *shrugs*

_____________________________

V



(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Online communication - 4/7/2005 5:14:01 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		the only way to end it is go Real life and skip the online stuff

(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Online communication - 4/7/2005 5:18:52 PM   
liltxsubby


Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline 		Sometimes things come up online and a person can't help not being attentive as they'd like. If this was an all the time occurence, though, I would have to say the guy was just rude and/or clueless. Sounds like moving on was a smart choice. Just because you're a sub doesn't mean you don't deserve to be treated with courtesy.

_____________________________

I'm Japan and Godzilla has taken over.

Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Online communication - 4/7/2005 7:31:29 PM   
softysub


Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline 		He was always absent online, i would ask if you are busy i can leave you alone and he would reply, no its ok i am just watching..............boy did this get me mad or what.

I would be banging my head on my desk.........what a silly girl i was......waiting for Him to reply and all the time, He was watching tv. I am laughing now about all this, but man.......


softysub

(in reply to liltxsubby)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Online communication - 4/8/2005 6:38:54 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Let me point out that I am rt with the Owner, but we still chat and email somewhat when we aren't together.

It frustrates me at times too- he talks to a lot of people at once, and he will get wrapped up in some conversation or other.

However, when I brought up my frustrations (which if you havent, that's your first step) he said he liked having me virtually "sitting in the corner quietly" just waiting for when he was ready for me again. Very objectifying.

Of COURSE it's frustrating, but he's a sadist like that. I shouldn't need him raptly at MY attention whenever I am online just to make me feel secure. Of course he's my Owner, if I'm that worried about things, then I need to look at the bigger picture.

Also, keep yourself busy. There's got to be sites and emails and other fun things to send. I know sometimes I like it when we're comfy, the IM box is open and we occasionally post to eachother, but it's a very relaxed thing. No one feels the push to continue the conversation.

So have faith in the relationship, be submissive and just go quietly in the corner and allow him to do what he wants, savor the free time you are having to do what YOU want, and communicate if things get really bad.

(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Online communication - 4/8/2005 1:20:23 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softysub
He was always absent online, i would ask if you are busy i can leave you alone and he would reply, no its ok i am just watching..............boy did this get me mad or what.
softysub

Here's my take (not sure if your question was only to subs):
If you're trying to chat with someone online, and he doesn't become engaged, he's not that into you... Or he may be simply a self centered/cheating jerk who's busy chatting with his ex wife, watching tv, or is very dense and has nothing to say (which would mean there isn't enough chemistry to hold either of your attentions, but you're being ultra nice continuing to try).

It's okay if some of this happens once in a while, if he becomes busy with something, and asks to be excused or apologizes later, but most/all of the time means you should leave him alone and go do something else; maybe even avail yourself of the ignore feature. JMHO, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Online communication - 4/8/2005 1:26:22 PM   
softysub


Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline 		You are right Blk

He was self-centered and that all this made me realized back then that He wasnt interested in me at all.

thank Y/you A/all for your replies.

have a nice weekend A/all

softysub

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Online communication - 4/9/2005 10:56:50 AM   
bgbs4U


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/7/2005
Status: offline 		softysub,

Good for you for moving on, you have to think about what is healthy for you, not just waht he says. All relationships are about what both participants need from each other....always takes two to make things work. Just because of long distance or online, there is no excuse for being thoughtless and rude.

Respect from a Dom/Master is important. They are people too and you have to make your feelings known to the person you are involved with. Mutual respect, trust and compassion for each other in relationships is vital.

Best wishes.

(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Online communication - 4/9/2005 11:35:38 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		We're not talking about some friend or new online guy who's getting to know you- we're talking about someones MASTER- in theory someone you trust, someone you allow to have authority in your life and accept what they choose.

And people are saying the master is being rude and disrespectful because he chooses to not talk to his property online sometimes?

I must talk to the Owner about this...let him know he's been disrespcting his property by not spending his time as I want him to by giving attention to me.

(in reply to bgbs4U)
Profile   Post #: 13
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