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Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 12:11:58 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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"sister submissive" or "subsis" or any equivilent thereof.

I am not -anyones- subsis. Especially not someone I've never spoken to before with which the only thing I have in common is my submissive role.

Does this bug anyone else?

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~in the begining it is always dark~

Post #: 1

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 1:57:05 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

When I first encountered the phrase I felt shut out - shunned. And then I saw all those Yahoo groups which are for female subs only.

Poor male subs... no one wants us around, not even female subs <sniffle, sniffle, whimper>

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 2

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 5:12:45 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

awwww Chris come here....puts her arms around her subbro.....lol

Actually, the phrase doesn't really annoy me too much, I look at it like the person saying it is recognizing that we have common interests, but not necessarily that we are "sister close".

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to onceburned)

Post #: 3

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 7:56:00 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
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i can see how it could be seen as annoying although i am guilty of it myself...it's a chatroom/ cyber bdsm habbit i guess...along with Y/you & M/me etc... lol. being called sis doesn't bother me tho, i've been called a lot worse than sis! lol

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 4

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 8:11:57 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

Along the same lines we'll occasionally we'll hear someone say something like "we're all brothers and sisters in the lifestyle"; seems like this is usually accompanied with a plea for everyone to hold hands, sing Kumbaya, and support some hare-brained idea. I wouldn't say this bugs me exactly, though I do immediately label the person spouting that stuff as a fool.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 4/8/2005 8:13:16 AM >

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"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 5

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 11:22:14 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

though I do immediately label the person spouting that stuff as a fool.

I do the same. It doesn't bother me either. But everytime I see someone speaking like that. I immediately dismiss everything they have to say from then on out. It only tell's me how clueless they actually are.
Just because I am a sub or a dom does not mean I'm a mold like everyone else in the world.

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 6

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 11:37:10 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Along with "subbie" yes. It is a sign of social closeness that doesn't exist and suggests that I should have some sort of kinship with other people just because they happened to be submissive.

I've also LOVED seeing people use it, knowing full well what knives behind people's backs were being pushed, just makes me shake my head.

Anyone who says women are the gentler sex is obviously showing their utter ignorance of what being female is.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 7

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 12:07:56 PM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

"subbie" get's on my nerves a little too....i wouldn't automatically dismiss the person as a "wannabe" or "fake" only because they use those bdsm chat lingos, but it can be irritating to me at times, specially the "bratty subs" the ones who confuse being submissive with being a 5 yr old...ugh,.... the type that will say, "i need to use the subbie room to go potty" .....i feel like smacking them and saying look bitch you're a grown woman snap out of it!

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 8

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 1:23:27 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Yeah. I'm not a fan of "subbie" either.

Sorry I came off as so vitriolic, but I dislike assumed intimacy a -great- deal.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 9

RE: Pet peeve - 4/8/2005 4:04:13 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

subbie sounds too much like a submarine... same with sub in my none too humble opinion. I tend to type submissive/slave so as to be all inclusive.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 10

RE: Pet peeve - 4/9/2005 10:43:43 AM

PaintedLady

Posts: 35
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

GOD!

I hate 'subbie'!-sissub too!

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-John Dryen

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Post #: 11

RE: Pet peeve - 4/9/2005 11:46:16 AM

BobcatsLilMinx

Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

The whole Y/you W/we Caps and lower case thing bugs me more than the subbie sis thing. When I first got into the lifestyle about 3 years ago, I was guilty of all this horrendous Y/you sissypoo and bro stuff too... Mainly because all my "friends" did it, and it just seemed to be the done thing. I was desperate to fit in.

Now I realise that you can show respect to a Master/ Mistress so much more effectively just by your manner, not by groveling and begging forgiveness everytime you miss an uppercase letter. Likewise, you can show "sister solidarity" for want of a better phrase, by actually being a friend, and not some shallow back stabbing bitch. Like Emeraldslave says, the amount of that that goes on in the supposedly tight communities is horrendous. If someone I don't know feels the need to call me sis to prove they're a good person, I regard that with a litle wariness. But like I say, I know what it is to just do it to go along with the flow, and it is possible they're just genuinely nice people.

"Subbie" I dislike, because it tends to get used as a derogatory term - the "subbie princess". It just seems unnecessary to me.

Respectfully
Minx

(in reply to PaintedLady)

Post #: 12

RE: Pet peeve - 4/10/2005 12:54:48 PM

sanita

Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
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i do not like people who don't know me calling me "sis" at all, but it does serve a purpose. anyone in IRC that greets me as sis... well, i know i won't bother with them too much, except to watch out. EmeraldSlave's post about the knives... that's what i perceive when i hear it.

as for "subbie:" i love when Master calls me subbie, and i will use it to refer to myself, but only with Him. it is a pet name for me. i don't like the thought of someone else using it to address me, though.

and for the C/caps thing, i see so many posts berating it in these boards, but i view it differently. i met my first Dom online in a vanilla site, we dated, and then He got me thinking about BDSM. and while we had r/t experiences, i really found myself in online exploration. in the Park chatrooms, where i was a regular, and where i learned so much about others in the lifestyle, the C/caps were used regularly, and used to connote basic respect. it is how i learned to communicate in chat and email, and IM. it just is. i don't kick myself, when i address a Dom as "you," however, i usually cap it, in order to feel correct.

in other languages, most or all nouns, not just proper names, are capitalized in writing. "Sie" in German is a more respectful version of "you" singular, which is used to address superiors, elders, or people you do not know. "du" and "sie" are the familiar singular, and plural versions of you respectively. do they get capped when spoken? no... but in writing they do.

i see the Y/you thing as a colloquialism of some sort. i sure as heck hope i will not be negated because i use it, but i do understand that sometimes, when someone tries to make it a do or die policy, it is irritating.

and as for the OP, *grin* my pet peeve is condescension, and the assumption that when a person does something differently, they can't be right. not that i have seen it in this thread, btw! just when i do see it, it irks.

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 13

RE: Pet peeve - 4/10/2005 2:33:35 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

I can take or leave the C/capping thing. I don't do it, and I don't mind it in moderation, it's when it gets excessive that I go mad. I saw someone write "W/we're looking for a R/relationship." When did the relationship become an entity?

I -do- find non-standard capping to be an excelent excercise in self control. When I was with somoene who lived far away from me (I moved away to college) she had me cap her name and pronouns, because it was something I was unused to. It made me -think- every time I wrote to her and about her.

Mostly, I ignore it. I figure i wrote in no caps at all for so long, that i'm not one to talk :).

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to sanita)

Post #: 14

RE: Pet peeve - 4/11/2005 4:41:29 AM

sanita

Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I -do- find non-standard capping to be an excelent excercise in self control. When I was with somoene who lived far away from me (I moved away to college) she had me cap her name and pronouns, because it was something I was unused to. It made me -think- every time I wrote to her and about her.

*little grin* and after you have it down, to have to go to work or school, and type with "correct" capitalization. *lol* seriously, i have capped my boss' "You" a time or two, but it is ok, i think, because i am 98% sure he's a Dom.

have a great day!

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 15

RE: Pet peeve - 4/11/2005 6:14:06 AM

BobcatsLilMinx

Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

I -do- find non-standard capping to be an excelent excercise in self control. When I was with somoene who lived far away from me (I moved away to college) she had me cap her name and pronouns, because it was something I was unused to. It made me -think- every time I wrote to her and about her.

This is actually an excellent idea, I hadn't thought of it that way... I may incorporate that myself!

quote:

in other languages, most or all nouns, not just proper names, are capitalized in writing. "Sie" in German is a more respectful version of "you" singular, which is used to address superiors, elders, or people you do not know.

I do speak German.. but I'm English/ Welsh bi-lingual, and while the welsh language has seperate words/ sentence structures, like the French, we don't bother capping it, the fact that we use the correct term is all that matters. I don't really understand why the English are so different, but in my mind, when I say "you", I am saying it from either the formal or informal intention, no matter what language I'm speaking, and to me, that makes it feel different.

It is interesting reading all the different perspectives. I love that "subbie" can be an insult to one person and a pet name for another... Such lovely complexities!

Respectfully,
Minx

(in reply to sanita)

Post #: 16

RE: Pet peeve - 4/17/2005 9:24:28 PM

Mouthy

Posts: 35
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

A pet peeve is an interesting thing to have, I think. I have several very strong ones and once I recognized how painfully and frequently I was seized by them, I decided to examine their function in my life. I'm not saying I think the following is true for other people. I have no theories about the function of other people's peeves, primarily because I feel certain that they're deeply individual.

All caveats aside, then, my pet peeves almost invariably function to confirm my ego-based need to feel that I'm smarter than other people. The peeves that don't function that way arise in response to a felt inadequacy. For example, I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE being called "Little One." I'm short, okay? Short. Studies have repeatedly shown that tall people are accorded more respect, and paid significantly more, even for the same work, than short people. Plus, they can get stuff down from the top shelf. Irritates the living expletive out of me.

I'd rather we all joined hands and sang Kumbaya until we dropped than have to bear with being called "Little One." And "subsis" just about makes me hurl, too, although an unwelcome familiarity in terms I don't like, coming from someone similarly-positioned, doesn't have the sting and burn that being condescended to does.

(in reply to BobcatsLilMinx)

Post #: 17

RE: Pet peeve - 4/17/2005 9:39:06 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

"Twue" anything
U/using C/capitols I/in T/this M/manner...
Drivers who refuse to signal (Virtually every driver in the Greater Phoenix area.)
Being referred to as "Master" by anyone who is not my slave.

(God...I could keep going with this for awhile...)

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 18

RE: Pet peeve - 4/17/2005 11:19:25 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns

Drivers who refuse to signal (Virtually every driver in the Greater Phoenix area.)

And almost 1/2 the population of Davis. Jesu Christo I hate this. Especially when I'm on a bike.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to MrThorns)

Post #: 19

RE: Pet peeve - 4/18/2005 1:46:25 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

There are very few things that erk Angel. But I am not perfect, so here goes!

I don't mind being called 'sister' when done so by someone I know, or consider 'on the same wavelength'. There are people I write to here who may call me sis and I may say so to them. But only maybe two. I agree, I think it's the assumed intimacy that makes the difference. It's like being called 'girl' or 'little one' by people whom I do not know that makes me shudder. I am a woman and proud of being such. Sometimes I am Demons pet, or His hunni, and definately his angel, but I am way beyond the girl stage!...

I dislike the free usage of the word Master, and slave when people neither own or are owned.

I do not respect people who drink and drive (even one glass) - I have zero tollerance for that.

Fundementalism of any kind that infringes on peoples human rights.

Oh, and George Bush.

Peace and Love

*edited on... I meant to add the phrases 'true ' and 'real' also... I have never understood the concept, if someone wants to 'enlighten me'... please try...

And something I just saw... 'gift'...
The Gift of slavery
The Gift of submission
The Gift of Domination
The Gift of Ownership.

What is with that?

*edited rant ends...

< Message edited by dark~angel -- 4/18/2005 5:34:00 AM >

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.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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Post #: 20

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