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Manners - 4/9/2005 8:06:25 AM   
MasterFred77


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/9/2005
Status: offline 		To all the sub/slave ladies on this site. I read a lot of Ad's, and a lot of you say how mannerly and polite you. And MANY of you are. But why don't a lot of sub's/slave's even have the courtesy of responding with some kind of answer, so the sender at least know's that you got thier message. Now don't get Me wrong I have coresponded with a lot of mannerly and inteligent sub/slave ladies. Now if a Wannabee Dom or Player Dom is disrespectful to you I believe you have a right to ignore them. This is just a question/oppinion.

MasterFred
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 8:28:18 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
MasterFred77, since your post is not a whiny "all these women are bitches" one <wink> I hope that whatever replies you get will be nice.

This topic has come up before; the basic consensus has been that many women on this site are inundated with email; they either don't have time to answer or even open them sometimes.

Also (and this has been my case), the profiles here take a while to be approved; the folks doing that are overworked and underpaid and do the best they can. But while a profile is pending it obviously can't be read, and some guys just look at a picture and let their dicks do the writing. Even though I stated in my journal what I said in my profile, that I'm not looking for anything other than friends, it didn't stop them.

Now that my profile is up I still get email, not as much as before, and they are usually one sentence'ers, complimentary in nature, so I simply write back a one sentence reply, "thank you for the compliment" and that is the end of the correspondence.

While I have answered every email I've received, even it was to tell some idiot to go to hell, I can understand how a lot of women here would not be able to keep up with all the email they get.

cello

(in reply to MasterFred77)
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RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 9:00:47 AM   
MasterFred77


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/9/2005
Status: offline 		cellogrrl:
Thank you for your kind response. No, I am not whining. I just believe that common courtesy would be much easier than for a Person to follow than another who doesn't know if their message was even recieved. I think a simple "Thanks but No thanks" wouldn't be to much trouble. Please do not mistake what I am saying, this is the best site of this type I have ever found, and believe it or not, I do get some reply's (LOL).

MasterFred

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 9:14:44 AM   
ThorsHammer


Posts: 49
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Master Fred,

My experience is very much like yours. I also realize that many of the ladies here get "tons" of emails. I also realize that in that "ton" are many that are completely inappropriate. Those that are disrespectful do not deserve a response, in my humble opinion. I do not fault in any way a lady for not responding to them.

Like you, I do believe that common good manners say that a polite intoductory email deserves at least a simple "thanks but no thanks" type of reply if the lady is not interested. However, I do find the lack of manners not limited to the "email" world.

Over the past few years I have given wedding gifts to several couples and have not received a thank you note from them. I have also given gifts to graduates, both high school and college, and not received a thank you note. It seems that which was considered good manners a few years ago is no longer considered necessary and appropriate.

Ladies, if we men do take the time to read your profile, respond to it, are respectful to you .... it doesn't seem to me that hitting the "reply" button and typeing 4 words is "too much work" as has been implied in a number o postings here over the past few months.

Respecting each other is not too much to ask .... or expect.

Just my thoughts.

Donn
AKA Thors Hammer

(in reply to MasterFred77)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 10:59:47 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		This -has- been talked about a lot, and if you search for the terms you'll probably get about five threads.

Still, I'm gonna do a brief rundown of what I see as the reasons we often don't respond.'

1. we have no repsonsiblity to respond to unsolicited mail. Regardless as to the fact that we have a profile, writing is -still- the equivilient of telemarketing. Because we have a phone are we required to respond to telemarketers? Yes, we should be polite if we -do- respond, but simply putting down the phone is acceptable.

(I've heared a lot of people say that having a profile is a solicitation for e-mail. Ok, sure. As I see it, though, that's the same kind of soliciation as signing up for a store's mailing list. You aren't obligated to buy anything. You -are- obligated not to yell at the clerk when you do buy.)

2. Often "no" isn't accepted. Over and over when I e-mail someone saying "thank you but no thanks" I get a slew of e-mails back trying to "convince me" It's almost easier to simply -not- reply.

3. If someone doesn't reply, isn't it clear that they're saying "no thank you"? I'm not entirely sure why it's necesary to write back. If someone doesn't, they've made it pretty clear they aren't interested.

4. Collarme -does- have glitches. Some of us are unable to get into our mail for months at a time. Sometimes mail gets eaten. It's a free service, so I'm not complaining, but be aware of this.

5. Sometimes the "jerk detector" is on high and we just delete mail. Yeah, we probably shouldn't, but on a day when you've gotten 10 insulting mails and you've read them all, sometime you're ready to delete any message by someone with "master" in his name. (yes, an irratonal prejudice, but one which has been prooven by experience, sadly. There are too many people with "master" "dom" "Sir" et al handles that give the legit ones a bad name)

6. As cello girl said, you don't -have- to read the mail, sometimes, if you know your profile is pending. They can't have read it.

hrm. Those are the ones as I see them.

(note: these are not my reasons. These are the ones I've seen written in threads over and over)

I read everything b/c I simply -don't- get that much mail. My profile is very clear about who I am an what I'm looking for. (ie-very little :) ) All the same, I've found lately that I have -nothing- to say back to an e-mail that says "hi" nor even a well-written form letter or a letter by someone who clearly can't have looked at my profile because it isn't -up- yet. I feel mildly guilyt, but I figure that I probablycouldn't say anything nice anyway, so I'd rather not say anything.

S

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to ThorsHammer)
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RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 11:14:09 AM   
BobcatsLilMinx


Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		MasterFred;

I can honestly say, as a sub, I always attempt to answer every single mail I receive, as soon as possible. I did before I was collared, and now I continue to do so, usually only a sentence or two to politely say I am now taken.

However, before being collared, I was receiving anything between 20 and 30 emails a day, and a high percentage of these would be lengthy emails deserving a lengthy reply. After a while I was spending more time on collarme than I was actually doing anything else. It was depressing - one reply would be sent, in the time it took another 5 mails to arrive.

I understand most doms don't get a whole lot of mail, so they tend to reply very promptly when they are interested in a girl, and with a lengthy mail. May I suggest (to all doms) try to keep letters to subs short and friendly - put as much of your personality into as short a message as possible, so they don't feel swamped, but also can see who you are. Then, if you feel you "connect" move it to yahoo or MSN, real time chat. Don't offer real time chat straight away - that just comes across that the dom doesn't actually care whether you get on or not, he just wants to talk to as many as possile, and then take his pick.

By short... I don't mean 1 or 2 sentences... btw. You know the size of the message box, before it becomes necessary to use the scroll bar? About half of that to all of that is a good length.

Be interested, be yourself, keep it short (ish), and you'll definitely get an answer!

Well, not definitely...... but more probably..

Respectfully,
Minx



< Message edited by BobcatsLilMinx -- 4/9/2005 11:18:01 AM >

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 12:29:29 PM   
sputniklove


Posts: 39
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I concour completley with bobcatslil..Minx
I also will say that manners define who a person is to a certain extent. I have enjoyed reading in threads, how Dom's improve posture, improve polietness,and this goes for Dommes as well. There is always room for improvement in the way communcation is done,there are just to many people out there who are demanding of someone they have not even met,judgemental of someone they do not even know, only from some words. Again as Minx says above keep it short,let yourself come through,and treat someone with the same courtsey you would if you encountered them in the real world,after all you already know if they are slave sub or master dom or domme.....that can be discussed later much more important to learn to know someone,and how to do it politely

(in reply to BobcatsLilMinx)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 12:36:03 PM   
lil1v


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		Well I also have a gripe about the emails I receive from Doms. If you want me to reply faster, at least tell me why you messaged me.

Emails with just "HI" ... what am I to say to that? Should I really reply back just "HI"? For me thats a waste of an email. But should I really be expected to reply back with an actual email with substance and reward such lazy behavior?

I'm still debating on what to reply to a "HI" email I got a couple days ago.

Also under the "sent" email tab, it will tell you when that person read your email. I don't know how accurate that is, but its there.

_____________________________

V



(in reply to MasterFred77)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 1:09:18 PM   
BobcatsLilMinx


Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		*grins* I always just send back the same: "Hi."

What a cheeky lil Minx.....

(in reply to lil1v)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 1:32:20 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BobcatsLilMinx

*grins* I always just send back the same: "Hi."

What a cheeky lil Minx.....



heh. I did this once, too. The resulting dialog was hilarious
(keep in mind, this is all in e-mail)

Him: Hi
Me: Hi
Him: Hello
Me: Hello
Him: Yo
Me: Yo
Him: How are you?
Me: Fine
Him: Hi
Me: Hi

This was over the span of about a week. He finally stopped writing. I always wondered why he didn't just say something more useful.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to BobcatsLilMinx)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 1:34:52 PM   
BobcatsLilMinx


Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		*laughs* oh thats great!!

Maybe he was shy... bless 'im.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 2:23:26 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		If you want to know if it was recived go into mail sent and it will show you if someone read it or not.

(in reply to BobcatsLilMinx)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 4:33:49 PM   
MasterFred77


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/9/2005
Status: offline 		Minx:
Thank you for your reply, I was not complaining just merely making a statement. Some of the sub/slave ladies on here make some serious requests. By which a Dom will answer and get absolutely no reply. I do understand you ladies get tons of mail. As far as the "Player"/"Wannabee Doms", they don't deserve a reply. Also the "Forceful Dom's" who don't know you also require no reply. Afterall if I was drunk and sent a message to a sub/slave ordering her onto her knees to please Me, I would EXPECT no reply. Just want you ladies to know there are still some real Dom's out here, and we conduct ourselves like GENTLEMEN.

SirFred

(in reply to BobcatsLilMinx)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Manners - 4/9/2005 4:42:15 PM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic


quote:

ORIGINAL: BobcatsLilMinx

heh. I did this once, too. The resulting dialog was hilarious
(keep in mind, this is all in e-mail)

Him: Hi
Me: Hi
Him: Hello
Me: Hello
Him: Yo
Me: Yo
Him: How are you?
Me: Fine
Him: Hi
Me: Hi

This was over the span of about a week. He finally stopped writing. I always wondered why he didn't just say something more useful.



ROTFLMAO!!!! That is just TOO ridiculous! Actually, I do think I had two different emails with just "Hi" in them. Master said "don't even bother answering those" so I didn't... but that's because he told me not to bother <angelic smile>.

cello

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Manners - 4/10/2005 2:10:43 AM   
lil1v


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK


quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

heh. I did this once, too. The resulting dialog was hilarious
(keep in mind, this is all in e-mail)

Him: Hi
Me: Hi
Him: Hello
Me: Hello
Him: Yo
Me: Yo
Him: How are you?
Me: Fine
Him: Hi
Me: Hi

This was over the span of about a week. He finally stopped writing. I always wondered why he didn't just say something more useful.



ROTFLMAO!!!! That is just TOO ridiculous! Actually, I do think I had two different emails with just "Hi" in them. Master said "don't even bother answering those" so I didn't... but that's because he told me not to bother <angelic smile>.

cello


Well since I am "master-less".. I'm going to take your Master's recommendation and not reply to those.

I have little patience to have one of those "HI" "HI" "HELLO" "HELLO" conversations... After the guys "Hello" reply... I'd have replied "Why the hell do you even bother to message me? Do you even know English? Or is typing itself a challenge for you?"

But then.. I'm one of those rude subs people keep talking about. Its just such a waste of my time to go into the mail reader here just to find "Hi" as my entire email.



_____________________________

V



(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Manners - 4/10/2005 7:21:04 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lil1v

Well since I am "master-less".. I'm going to take your Master's recommendation and not reply to those.


I'm sure he won't mind! lol

quote:


I have little patience to have one of those "HI" "HI" "HELLO" "HELLO" conversations... After the guys "Hello" reply... I'd have replied "Why the hell do you even bother to message me? Do you even know English? Or is typing itself a challenge for you?"

But then.. I'm one of those rude subs people keep talking about. Its just such a waste of my time to go into the mail reader here just to find "Hi" as my entire email.



lil, I hear you! The one sentence e-mails are a bit annoying too, especially since they are mostly from trolls who can't read <wink>

cello

(in reply to lil1v)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Manners - 4/10/2005 7:56:26 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lil1v
I have little patience to have one of those "HI" "HI" "HELLO" "HELLO" conversations... After the guys "Hello" reply... I'd have replied "Why the hell do you even bother to message me? Do you even know English? Or is typing itself a challenge for you?"



Mostly I do. This one...well....I was curious how long it'd keep going.

Sometimes, people -don't- speak English as a first language, so I'm hesitant to criticize that bit, but yeah, I'm often quite impatient. Sometimes test subjects are interesting though :)

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Manners - 4/10/2005 8:43:32 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		I've gotten those same kinds of emails... just a "Hi" an nothing else. You look at it an scratch your head at how to respond. I spent a fair amount of effort on my profile and there's quite a bit about me in there... I would think someone could find something in all that to comment on. But most of the posts I have gotten have been very nice. Some have been people who saw my profile and wrote a nice note. Several have seen my posts here on the msg boards and wrote to say they enjoyed those. In every case I was very appreciative of those who wrote to me with such good manners and I hope I expressed that clearly in my replies. So perhaps the ladies can take it as a bit of encouragement, when you do take the time to reply and do so politely, some of us really really do appreciate it.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Manners - 4/10/2005 9:51:06 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		Hi y'all

While i try to write back to the ones who are kind enough to write, there are several reasons given there that i agree with -- the one lines (or one worders..lol), it's rude so why bother, etc., there are 2 other reasons. One is that the person has already written to me 2 or 3 times, and i get tired of explaining to them "why" i say no thanks. The other reason is blank, or near blank, profiles. i love to meet people from all over the world, but i honestly need something to respond to -- a starting point, or as one country song says "gimme something to work with"..lol.

Just a thought.

jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to MasterFred77)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Manners - 4/10/2005 1:38:42 PM   
lil1v


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK


lil, I hear you! The one sentence e-mails are a bit annoying too, especially since they are mostly from trolls who can't read <wink>

cello



*laughs* Yeah I'm not much for those either. But at least theres something to comment on.. a typo or lack of typos.. or sometimes they'll say "Hi. How are you?" and at least I can reply to that. Still irritates me though, I mean at least they could tell you their intentions, goals, or what it is that piqued their interest.

I will admit sometimes after a day of "Hi. How are you?" emails.. I tend to respond with less than joyful descriptions of how exactly I am and sometimes a bit bitchy.

#1 How are you?
me: I'm doing well today, and how might you be doing?

#2 How are you?
me: I'm fine and yourself?

#3 How are you?
me: I'm doing ok I guess, and how are you?

#4 How are you?
me: Tired and yourself?

#5 How are you?
me: Actually I'm really tired. Been a long $%$# day. I hope your well.

#6 How are you?
me: Kinda cranky. Little irritated. So whatcha want?

Though usually by the time its come to #6 response, I just delete my reply instead of sending and try again tomorrow.

_____________________________

V



(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 20
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