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RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 11:35:02 AM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I am deeply in love with my girls alandra and kyra.  Is it a problem?  it's a problem like have too much money... is that possible?

and no I don't feel lost and not able handle them.  Part of my expression of love IS to exercise my Dominance within our relationship.


ahhhhhh, but grasshopper, KoM...
 
Confusius say, people with too much money do not  always know how to handle it.  Especially people who come into new money.
 
Same with love, some Dominants do not know how to balance it to fulfill the dynamics of the relationship. (caveat..love blinds)
 
I'm glad for You and Yours you know how to incorportate it all into Your relationship
 
...and when your poor rich uncle leaves you wealthy, we will all be knocking on your door...
PARTY AT KOM's
(but i have dibs on jumping out of the cake *grin*)
 

< Message edited by curiouslyseeking -- 3/23/2007 12:08:27 PM >

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"


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RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 11:45:12 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

  ORIGINAL: mstrjx
…
I am certain that I have been loved, deeply, by each of them.  (Personally I think it's hard for a submissive 'not' to be in love, but I won't quibble.)
… 
 
LOL, I would hasten to believe Jeff is talking about the universally common practice of students falling in love with their teachers, nuns for their priests, submissives falling in love with their Doms.  Of course, not all do…but most of us at least have a soft place in our hearts for the first; no?
 
b
 
Oh please god; don't let them crucify me for my generations.  They're EXAMPLES only...
 

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 11:46:54 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

I am certain that I have been loved, deeply, by each of them.  (Personally I think it's hard for a submissive 'not' to be in love, but I won't quibble.)



Wow, mstrjx...I really have to know why this is your belief...please share..


As it turns out, not really intentionally, many of my partners over the years have been rather new to WIITWD.  I have never trolled the ranks of the vanilla; these were people who wanted to learn the Lifestyle but had limited or no experience.

I generate intensities, be they physical, emotional, psychological.  I maintain a level of attention, passion, empathy, etc., that they have never encountered anywhere before.  I don't hold back.

The wave of emotions that culminate from this generally turns into love.  And it usually happens quickly and, as I indicated, hard.  At first, it was very surprising to see it unfold before me in that way (and to my partner, I'm sure, as well).  Subsequently with other partners it just became commonplace.

It has also served to bite me.  I found that I could not 'play' casually because apparently I don't know how to play 'fair'.  I guess I don't know how to NOT get inside someone's head once I've started.  So part of the reason I've held myself off involvement over the last few years is that I want to make certain ahead of time that whom I become partner to is one that I wish that mutuality to exist.

I know what I'll receive.  I'd just like to be certain it's what I want to give.

And mythi, I understand what you are saying about relationships that are more dispassionate than not, but even for a 'service' servant there has to be laid a foundation of justification for why they wish to be in service to THAT owner.  Devotion might not be as evident, but I suspect it exists nonetheless.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 11:57:18 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		Quick reply:

My owner is not in love with me, I have been his 7 years. I didn't know going in he would never love me and neither did he. It just never happened. He is so good to me and my kiddo that leaving because he doesn't love me would be stupid. He isn't intentionally doing it, he just doesn't. He has been in love before so he is capable of loving. I'm just not someone he ever fell in love with. It has nothing to do with him thinking it will weaken his power. He doesn't think that at all. I still hold out hope, obvisouly I love him more than anything...anytime I get a chance to make a wish, it is what I wish for...silly after all these years, you either love right away or you don't...deep down I know that but I still hold out a little hope.

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 3/23/2007 11:58:26 AM >

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 11:58:53 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

I generate intensities, be they physical, emotional, psychological.  I maintain a level of attention, passion, empathy, etc., that they have never encountered anywhere before.  I don't hold back.

The wave of emotions that culminate from this generally turns into love.  And it usually happens quickly and, as I indicated, hard.  At first, it was very surprising to see it unfold before me in that way (and to my partner, I'm sure, as well).  Subsequently with other partners it just became commonplace.

It has also served to bite me.  I found that I could not 'play' casually because apparently I don't know how to play 'fair'.  I guess I don't know how to NOT get inside someone's head once I've started.  So part of the reason I've held myself off involvement over the last few years is that I want to make certain ahead of time that whom I become partner to is one that I wish that mutuality to exist.

Jeff, in this I think you have probably expressed very well the experience and sentiments of more than a few of we dominants. 

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:08:30 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

To that end, I have to disagree with Dominic; I do not see my Dom’s behavior as his ‘job’; it is just who he IS. 

I found this one statement interesting because it strikes me as being a good example of how a difference in perspective between men and women can lead to a misunderstanding.  By that I mean specifically this... that many men (not all, but it is commonplace) identify who they are and their job as the same thing.  Most women do not, so while a man might see being a dominant as a duty and a job and view that as being a honorable and good thing and these things as tangible expressions of who he "is"... a woman would likely be offended by the idea of it, seeing it as placing her in the role of a burden rather than a treasure (which is probably not what the man meant and there's the rub).  I think Bearlee's objection demonstrated that (in a very mild way).  Funny how we sometimes misunderstand each other in such simple ways.  Just thought I'd point that out... now back to the topic.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:18:33 PM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

I generate intensities, be they physical, emotional, psychological.  I maintain a level of attention, passion, empathy, etc., that they have never encountered anywhere before.  I don't hold back.

The wave of emotions that culminate from this generally turns into love.  And it usually happens quickly and, as I indicated, hard. 

 
This I'm truly trying to understand your perspective..(not picking on you..*friendly wave*)
 
If I understand you correctly, you do not think you can have great physical, emotional and psychological intensity without it culminating into love?
 
I agree this intensity can create a bond..and a unique energy field between you (stealing the thoughts from another thread)....
 
.....However, I still can't understand that this type of intensity most probably than not would create love.
 
For example, I had the most intense, mind boggling S&M relationship for 2 years...was it love?  Not in the slightest...Did it turn into love?  Not in the slightest...a craving... yes...love..no..
 
Again, I know each person is unique...I'm just wondering if my views are in the minority or the majority.

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:19:30 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Good point, Padriag.  While it may be true, I think I meant to imply that the 'job' of being Dominant could be the burden and that I'd rather see it be a natural expression of his desires...more in the way Focus stated.
 
I grieve for people who shoulder the responsibility of what they 'should' be; rather than the joy of expressing what they desire.  THAT is the job to which I refered.
 
I hope that makes sense...because I do not dispute what you have said, either.
 
beverly

(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:43:30 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

(not picking on you..*friendly wave*)
 


You can pick on me any time you please.

Here I go with my 'two truth' theory again.  The spoken truth and the unspoken truth.

What I DIDN'T say before (to protect the innocent) was .....

There was also a commonality amongst these women in that they did not begin their life prior to me from a position of strength.  To use the parlance, they best resembled doormats.

I sense in you a different sort of character completely, and no, I'm not picking on you.

But I wonder if this might be what differentiates my experiences from those experiences worth having, and the resulting feelings therein.

If this is the case, then the implication there would be that having that core strength is a deterrent, or barrier, to falling (at least quickly) in love.

Jeff

(How deep is the hole.  3 feet you think?  Halfway to being dead and buried?)

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:46:24 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		But that is the point Beerlee, I've known many men in my life for whom the "burden" of their job, their responsibility, for being who they are... is their joy, it is a natural expression of who they are.  For that same reason many men often loathe retirement, and when they do, feel lost as though they had lost their sense of self because... in way... they did.  But I've also observed most women have a very hard time understanding that, in this women think very differently.  Or more accurately have a different sense of values.   Yet if you take a mother and put her in the position of no longer being a mother, she often reacts like the man who has retired... as though she has lost a part of herself, her sense of self.  So the man who spent his life a fisherman will always think of himself as a fisherman, the mother will always be mom, even when they aren't anymore.  That dichotomy has always intrigued me.


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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:51:44 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I am enjoying your posts, Jeff.  Your sentiments remind me of what my Master has experienced along the way.  


Edited to add: My Master loves me, and it does not in any way affect his mastery over me. He rarely tells me he does, but I can see it.  I love him deeply.  I never asked him or expected him to love me; I never felt that was my right.  That he does is a beautiful thing to me. 

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 3/23/2007 12:53:59 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:54:40 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Yes, Sir…I see your point.
 
Again, I think the man I was alluding to was the one who denies who he is and instead shoulders the mantle of ‘The Man’ he thinks he should be.  I feel better when a submissive man allows himself to embrace his submissiveness, the sensitive man allows himself his tears, the kinky guy his kink.   We’ve all grown up with ‘shoulds’…women have them too; we should get married, we should have children, we should be passive. 
 
Isn’t the world a better place when the ‘shoulds’ are allowed to go and we can embrace our desires, instead?  Lucky is the man/woman whose job, responsibility, reason for being IS their joy.
 
bear

(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:57:39 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am in love with my submissive and to me it intensifies the relationship. For me, not loving him would leave me feeling a bit unfulfilled. I think a D/s relationship where the people love each other is possibly the best mix, at least for Me it is.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 12:57:58 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

If this is the case, then the implication there would be that having that core strength is a deterrent, or barrier, to falling (at least quickly) in love.

This I don't agree with.  In some cases it takes strength and courage to fall (or perhaps leap would be a better word, there is a matter of choice involved here) in love quickly.  I can think of one case in particular in my life when I met someone and those feelings developed very quickly.  We stayed up all night talking (10 hrs) and when I finally said goodnight to her I thought to myself "Sean, you're going to marry that girl."  Six months later I popped the question.  It didn't surprise her... she'd felt the same about me from that first date.  Sadly the rest of the story doesn't have a happy ending... life is cruel that way sometimes.  But the point being is, I could make that "leap" and choose to do so not from weakness, but from strength... I saw in her exactly what I wanted and I went after it without hesitation.

That some do so out of weakness I don't doubt... not so much choosing as "falling" into it does happen.  But some of us choose it, and that comes from strength.  I find also that some of us also, perhaps because of our strength... inspire it.  Maybe the reason some of those lasses fell so hard for you (as some have for me) wasn't because they were weak, but because you were strong and that strength inspired them to take a chance and make that leap.  That they literally made a leap of faith because they believed that much in you.

The only deterrent I have ever found to love... was fear.  When we come to a point we are no longer afraid, love comes easy and freely.  (Provided of course there's someone we can love naturally)

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 1:02:20 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Again, I think the man I was alluding to was the one who denies who he is and instead shoulders the mantle of ‘The Man’ he thinks he should be. 

Ah, you mean the type of guy that spends his life doing what he thinks others expect of him... rather than what he expects of himself?  Yeah, that's a different case entirely and a sad one.  For that person everything is a burden and often they harbor a quiet resentment against the world for those burdens... but never have the courage to refuse them.

That's a very different case from the dominant who takes joy in his responsibilities as a dominant, who cherishes his duties as dearly as his privileges because he revels in who he is and every form of expression of it... including the "job" of being a good dominant.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 1:17:20 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Yes!
 
Exactly!!
 
Thank you for your patience and letting me FINALLY get that out!  LOL
 
We are on the same page,
b

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 1:19:29 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		LOL... I'm not sure which of us was being more patient   But you're welcome just the same.  I'm enjoying actually having a little spare time today to be more involved in between working on stuff here at my desk.  I don't get to do this that often anymore.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 1:40:15 PM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		For me the love is a requirment.  In fact I go way too slow for a lot of woman. If I dont feel I miss her when she isnt around. If I dont feel that spark in my balls when I think of her than she just dosnt do it for me and she will become a friend.... which is someone I never dominate.  I require the slave / sub to give herself to me and for me that requires an exchange of love.  I dont even penetrate woman unless I feel it and I can only seem to feel it with one at a time.  Thats just the way it is with me.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 1:53:44 PM   
HisSongstress


Posts: 103
Joined: 3/2/2007
Status: offline 		Ponyseeker----just WOW! That is so powerful. I want that kind of emotional and visceral intensity, too. It is so refreshing and affirming to hear a dominant speak in that manner.  ***very big smile here***

...song...

_____________________________

"More, please." ....Oliver Twist

Before discovering bdsm, my motto was "Like me or bite me." But here, everyone seems to think that is an invitation.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: faling in love with slave submissives - 3/23/2007 2:11:17 PM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSongstress

Ponyseeker----just WOW! That is so powerful. I want that kind of emotional and visceral intensity, too. It is so refreshing and affirming to hear a dominant speak in that manner.  ***very big smile here***

...song...


Unfortunatlly you are in the minority -- My sub and I will split soon so I am in the market so to speak and believe it or not most of the woman I have talked to on this site just dont like it that way....LOL

(in reply to HisSongstress)
Profile   Post #: 40
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