RE: faling in love with slave submissives

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curiouslyseeking -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 2:16:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx You can pick on me any time you please. I sense in you a different sort of character completely, and no, I'm not picking on you. But I wonder if this might be what differentiates my experiences from those experiences worth having, and the resulting feelings therein. If this is the case, then the implication there would be that having that core strength is a deterrent, or barrier, to falling (at least quickly) in love. Jeff *Sounds like an open invitation [;)]...* **...and it would take a lot to pick on me (got 7 truck driving uncles..grin..sounds like a redneck fairy tale) (Back on topic) > I do have a different sort of character that is a barrier to falling (at least quickly) in love, I agree...but I don't agree that it is a strength. But I have to side with Padriag....** quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag This I don't agree with. In some cases it takes strength and courage to fall (or perhaps leap would be a better word, there is a matter of choice involved here) in love quickly. That some do so out of weakness I don't doubt... not so much choosing as "falling" into it does happen. But some of us choose it, and that comes from strength. I find also that some of us also, perhaps because of our strength... inspire it. Maybe the reason some of those lasses fell so hard for you (as some have for me) wasn't because they were weak, but because you were strong and that strength inspired them to take a chance and make that leap. That they literally made a leap of faith because they believed that much in you. The only deterrent I have ever found to love... was fear. When we come to a point we are no longer afraid, love comes easy and freely. (Provided of course there's someone we can love naturally) I was told by very a wise Master it takes strength to fall in love and this my dear mstrjx, i may have strength in many areas, but not in the love field..I'm the cowardly lion looking for courage [:D] *So, please don't confuse a strength with a weakness in this area, while finding your submissive partners.* *Love is a highly complex thing! [8\|] (BIG SMILE)*

curiouslyseeking -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 2:23:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER If I dont feel I miss her when she isnt around. If I dont feel that spark in my balls when I think of her than she just dosnt do it for me *Ponyseeker, I do understand the point you were trying to make...* *But I just had a HUGE smile thinking you should work for Hallmark Cards..* *"Sparky balls"...You are an original no doubt [;)]* *You are such a Domeo!* huggs

Padriag -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 2:41:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER quote: ORIGINAL: HisSongstress Ponyseeker----just WOW! That is so powerful. I want that kind of emotional and visceral intensity, too. It is so refreshing and affirming to hear a dominant speak in that manner. *very big smile here* ...song... Unfortunatlly you are in the minority -- My sub and I will split soon so I am in the market so to speak and believe it or not most of the woman I have talked to on this site just dont like it that way....LOL Sadly I've seen the same, and not just here. What I have observed is many are afraid of the intensity, afraid of getting hurt, fears bordering on predictions that the relationship would fail (apparently the thinking of some is that such a relationship could not last), fears of not being worthy of that kind of affection. Its not just limited to submissives, I've seen it in some dominants... and not just to this lifestyle... there are many many people in all walks of life walking around with those same fears. Worse, it seems to be becoming prevalent which concerns me. But, I still believe strength can inspire faith... so here's to we intrepid souls who strive to be strong and keep the faith. The dream of love is too rare a rose to let die. Or maybe I'm just too stubborn. [;)]

Bearlee -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 3:09:49 PM)
There ARE some people frightened by the intensity of love. I used to date married men, too…some 35 years ago. Gawd! I thought they were ‘safe’; I thought I wouldn’t have to change to be ‘with’ them, I thought I wouldn’t have to love them back and could just be me. Okay, I was a weird kid. Today, I look for that intensity of loving right back. I have finally figured out that the pendulum must swing both ways…always. I can’t be afraid of getting hurt if I want the experience and joy of loving someone. IE: you cannot keep the pendulum swinging shallowly on one side only; you will reduce the arc on both sides if you choose ‘not to risk’. Today, I enjoy the celebration of ‘relationship’. I want someone who realizes we have something pretty darn special and who shows me that, in one way or another…and believe me, there are many ways to say “I love you.” (Yet another thing I’ve learned in my old age). I think most people are more afraid of intimacy than believe they are not worthy of love. I think we have had few role-models; we’ve gone through a whole generation of families splintering, divorces; moving away…far away from family. We’ve not yet figured out how to maintain relationships; how to build our own family. But it is in desiring just that that keeps me ‘acting as if’. I don’t generally jump in without looking, but I sure do want to celebrate finding someone who seems perfect for me and let him know, by my behavior and words, that I find him absolutely wonderful…and I rejoice when he shows me the same. It’s good to grow up! b

Padriag -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 3:53:41 PM)
I've always had trouble understanding why women date married men. I don't think you were a weird kid, frankly, I've seen too much of it in others. Rather than being the exception, its all too common place. You make a good point about the lack of examples regarding relationships. So many broken homes, bad divorces, etc. For many they've had no good examples of relationships, of what it can be, or that it can work. They've seen too much of the worst and not enough of the best it has to offer. No, Bearlee, if anyone is the weird one here, its guys like me or Ponyseeker or Jeff. We, who want that intense loving relationship, seem to be the oddballs in this day and age. And that kind of makes me a little sad.

completenz -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 4:02:52 PM)
Padriag, dont be sad. There are others searching for the same thing that you do. We were, and we found it with each other. The kind of love that we only ever dreamt of before. We know how lucky and blessed we are. Dont give up hugs c

HisSongstress -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 4:03:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag ... if anyone is the weird one here, its guys like me or Ponyseeker or Jeff. We, who want that intense loving relationship, seem to be the oddballs in this day and age. And that kind of makes me a little sad. It makes me a lot sad.... ...song...

curiouslyseeking -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 4:13:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag No, Bearlee, if anyone is the weird one here, its guys like me or Ponyseeker or Jeff. We, who want that intense loving relationship, seem to be the oddballs in this day and age. And that kind of makes me a little sad. *In all honesty, I believe there are more like you than you perceive...* *It's not a sad thing...it's a beautiful thing.[:)]*

mstrjx -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 4:46:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag If anyone is the weird one here, its guys like me or Ponyseeker or Jeff. We, who want that intense loving relationship, seem to be the oddballs in this day and age. And that kind of makes me a little sad. I am honored to be in the above company. And thank you, 'owned', for your kind sentiment. It is, in its way, sad, but in another way it gives anyone reading this thread, regulars and lurkers alike, comfort in knowing that regardless of your orientation and gender that if you don't have the paralyzing fear of the unknown and can allow for the vulnerability and risk, that you CAN have it all, or push to get it. Make that a relationship priority, or limit or red flag or whatever it takes to obtain what you deserve. Jeff

Padriag -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 5:18:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking *In all honesty, I believe there are more like you than you perceive...* Perhaps, but its a trend I see, especially among the younger generation. I can't point to handy facts, figures or statistics regarding it... its more an impression, and indeed a perception. I actually rather hope I'm wrong. But my perception is that the changes in society, past divorce rates (which peeked at about 49% in the 80s if memory serves but have been falling since then which is good news), along with other factors have combined to leave younger generations with a fear of intimacy, love and commitment that I'm not sure they'll overcome. For their sakes, I hope they do. As for feeling sad, don't worry about it, its just a sorrow I feel for what others may miss out on. As another poet put it... A feeling of sadness and longing, That is not akin to pain, And resembles sorrow only As the mist resembles the rain.

hawkwolf7 -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/23/2007 10:03:33 PM)
mons, I don't have any global insights to share, but I do have a couple of experiences that could be relevant. I have a good friend who is a Master and only seeks relationships with slaves. He discovered within himself that when he falls in love with his slave his relationship with them suffers. He says he is not able to truly enjoy being sadistic in that situation because of his cultural programming; which says that it isn't okay to hurt someone you love. I on the other hand don't have any problems being sadistic to my submissive/slave, especially when I love them. I think one of the big differences between my friend and me is that in addition to being sadistic, I am also masochistic. I can relate to the joy of pain where he cannot. I not only understand it intellectually, but I have felt it. I would guess that my masochism made it easier for me to overcome my cultural programming.

mythi -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/24/2007 10:06:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx And mythi, I understand what you are saying about relationships that are more dispassionate than not, but even for a 'service' servant there has to be laid a foundation of justification for why they wish to be in service to THAT owner. Devotion might not be as evident, but I suspect it exists nonetheless. Jeff Could be as simple as a situation of convenience...that's the person who will let them serve in the capacity they most wish. Might engender no more feeling than gratitude. Just a possibility, not speaking from experience.

Bearlee -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/26/2007 10:55:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag If anyone is the weird one here, its guys like me or Ponyseeker or Jeff. We, who want that intense loving relationship, seem to be the oddballs in this day and age. And that kind of makes me a little sad. I am honored to be in the above company. And thank you, 'owned', for your kind sentiment. It is, in its way, sad, but in another way it gives anyone reading this thread, regulars and lurkers alike, comfort in knowing that regardless of your orientation and gender that if you don't have the paralyzing fear of the unknown and can allow for the vulnerability and risk, that you CAN have it all, or push to get it. Make that a relationship priority, or limit or red flag or whatever it takes to obtain what you deserve. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! I don't think it's wierd either...and will only get close with those who have the same values regarding love & relationship that the three of you...and so MANY others here, have. You guy's are great... bearlee

twistedkytten -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/27/2007 4:26:35 AM)
the term love has been used and abused .. it is absolute devotion that He requires, I believe there are bigger and better things than this "love" what is it afterall?

MasterDWS -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/31/2007 7:31:09 AM)
if love is not in any relationship then their is no relationship. any Master or slave knows that respect/friendship/communication/truth/love/marriage(collar) are all part of the slaves gift to Him.He in return also has to have the same feelings or there is no relationship therefore the collar is meaningless and will be removed at some point. Just My opinion , others may not agree nor do they need to. Master DS

SexyRed -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/31/2007 8:09:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag No, Bearlee, if anyone is the weird one here, its guys like me or Ponyseeker or Jeff. We, who want that intense loving relationship, seem to be the oddballs in this day and age. And that kind of makes me a little sad. It makes me sad as well to think that guys who seek intense loving relationships are in the minority. I cannot comprehend doing and feeling the things that I have done and felt in serious relationships with casual partners. I am not made that way. I wish I could, it would be far easier to just take advantage of casual friendships, but I am true to my core.

Level -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/31/2007 9:31:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mons greeting master. doms and all i want to know what you think of falling in love with you slave or submissive? is it a problem for you ? do you feel lost and not able to handle her or him? i think the greatest thing is love and if you find the right person i feel this way i think you can still love a sumissive or a slave just as you can love a vanilla person. i have found when talking to some of the master they do not wish to fall in love or love the person how is with them please tell me what you think and oh this is not a woman's soft side it is just a question for all. and did anyone have a broken heart and is this the reason you have change in your thoughts on love with your person/ i know they love your all warm and kind wishes to all thank you for your anwers mons emphasis added above I agree, mons, that love is the greatest thing, and I would surely hope to love her, when I find her, that is [;)].

dawntreader -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/31/2007 9:56:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag If anyone is the weird one here, its guys like me or Ponyseeker or Jeff. We, who want that intense loving relationship, seem to be the oddballs in this day and age. And that kind of makes me a little sad. I am honored to be in the above company. And thank you, 'owned', for your kind sentiment. It is, in its way, sad, but in another way it gives anyone reading this thread, regulars and lurkers alike, comfort in knowing that regardless of your orientation and gender that if you don't have the paralyzing fear of the unknown and can allow for the vulnerability and risk, that you CAN have it all, or push to get it. Make that a relationship priority, or limit or red flag or whatever it takes to obtain what you deserve. Jeff i think it is this rare quality the three of you possess and a few others i know, that makes you guys shine above the others... everyday i tell myself i will not let fear rule my day...i don't want to miss a moment.So if it means to love with all my being, then i will. Love and intensity should not be feared...only fear.

BoundDragon -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/31/2007 1:12:38 PM)
I love first then surrender second.... although it only took me a few weeks to realise just how much I was already his (if that makes any sense) He is still working out just how deep my submission goes... I cant wait for him to find out just how much I'd do for him.

puella -> RE: faling in love with slave submissives (3/31/2007 2:22:54 PM)
Hello mons, I hope you are well. I don't really know that I can add much to this thread but ... here goes. I think that for some men (and women I suppose too, but I do not submit to women), love is a scary thing which renders them very vulnerable. I suspect, that for many that is one of the reasons they turn to D/s. Control over that (and some other) aspects. It allows, and almost calls, for the woman to at the very least surrender profoundly, if not love (for myself, I can not surrender without love) without them having to go anywhere near that part of themself in which they feel so vulnerable. As a woman who loves profoundly, that mentality saddens me deeply. I would hope, as a submissive woman, that the love shared in such immensity would only bolster the most natural part of what makes a man Master and a woman submissive. Many do not feel that way, and use the power and control inherent to this lifestyle to manage the problems of their own insecurities away from the tender spots, while allowing them some sort of necessary interaction.

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