RE: a good man really is hard to find (Full Version)

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ToGiveDivine -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 1:41:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

*  looks at the LadyE  *
 
*  looks at her pal, Divine *
 
*  breaks out in a HUGE smile and says *   "Aaawwwwwwwwwwwwww..."
 
...then giggles & runs...


... spoken by someone who is gettin' hers already LOL

Hell, even my hand turns me down these days  (if it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all ... doooom, despair, and agony on me ;-)

Yes, us wankers are jealous of you  (well, we're actually more happy for you than jealous :-D)



Bearlee -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 3:21:52 PM)

 

*  rolls eyes * 
 
Yer a hoot, D! 
 
...Sweet, too.  Thank you!



bandit25 -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 3:24:20 PM)


And a hard man is good to find.



LadyEllen -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 3:31:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

*  looks at the LadyE  *
 
*  looks at her pal, Divine *
 
*  breaks out in a HUGE smile and says *   "Aaawwwwwwwwwwwwww..."
 
...then giggles & runs...


Trouble is Bearlee, something's come between us you know?

The Atlantic Ocean and half of north America

E



Bearlee -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 3:34:58 PM)

 
Yeah well...that's why god made aireoplanes!
 
[:)]



LadyEllen -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 6:45:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee


Yeah well...that's why god made aireoplanes!
 
[:)]


If God had meant me to fly, he'd have sent me tickets in the post rather than utility and credit card bills!

E



FukinTroll -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 6:47:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Trouble is Bearlee, something's come between us you know?

The Atlantic Ocean and half of north America

E


Well fuk~a~diddle. I thought you were in the States. I was about to google your attic and move in there.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 6:50:25 PM)

Good people are hard to find in general.  It is not restricted to the male of the species. Ive noticed that good friends, good workers and good lovers are all equally elusive.  Honestly, from what I se a lot of it comes down to being lazy.  People get lazy about doing what they are trying to do, whether its a job or making an impression. Finding the few out there who really put their heart into things is the trick.

DV



LadyEllen -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 6:52:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Trouble is Bearlee, something's come between us you know?

The Atlantic Ocean and half of north America

E


Well fuk~a~diddle. I thought you were in the States. I was about to google your attic and move in there.


Troll, youre more than welcome.

Mind you, I'm scheming on moving in with MissT at the moment, what with her six bedroomed house...... that must have a much larger attic too.

E



FukinTroll -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 6:54:37 PM)

[sm=idea.gif] Hmmm.... DSL access?



Jeniluscious -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 7:14:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Now TGD - I'm not including you in those descriptions OK? (well apart from the halfway round the world thing maybe). I didnt mention the exception to the rule for fear of embarassing you.


He's lucky he has you to speak up; there's nothing in the profile to indicate anything of interest. 

Well, maybe location, but damn, wrong Champagne. 



draba -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 7:22:44 PM)

Daar Lady Ellen,
If your friend is all that you say he is but with one seriuos falt, did you try to help him? But being alcoholic myself, I understand that he must help himselve. I certainly would not advocate  a relationship with an active alcoholic. But if you can get him some help and he gets sober, you may just have your man.
I know good men are hard to find. I see them come and go at my Mistress's. Some of these guys just do not get it. I have been with her for almost two years, working in her yard, and some these guys are so lazy that they are told not to come back.  I, on the other hand get prefered session time on the house. She is a pro. And I also get winters off and still session. I have a good Mistress which is equally hard to find.
Pleas from one Alcoholic to someone who may love another, try to help him and guade him, if you haven't. If you have and it is to no avail. Then let him go
draba



LadyEllen -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 7:43:18 PM)

Draba - believe me, I've tried for three years now.

We've spent night after night talking through all his issues, him often in tears and becoming for the time the 7 year old boy who felt all the hurt that drove him to act the big macho male and from there to drinking. I've given him chance after chance to do something about it; I've offered him work he could do to get his self esteem back, built him up only to be disappointed again and again, brought him into my family and friends and he's mucked it up with daft behaviour through drink. I even stopped him drinking a few times, including by way of magick without his knowledge - though I dont expect anyone to believe that. But I cant help him it seems, he goes back to it after a week or few of being dry.

And its such a tragedy. He's 40, a brilliant artist, really intelligent and knowledgeable, good looking, toned and capable of charm such that he could go so far in life if he could just get over his issues and be himself and stop drinking. He asks why I bother with a loser like him (his word) - I tell him, because he's worth it, and I wouldnt spend my time with him if he wasnt.

Mind you, I havent seen him much lately. He now has a 21 year old girlfriend, a heroin addict, and they seem to be getting along OK. But then, she doesnt stretch him at all and thinks he's god, so I guess its the familiar comfort zone for him right now where he doesnt have to deal with his life, and I'm the bad guy.

E



SusanofO -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/23/2007 11:29:59 PM)

Would he do alcohol Re-hab at all? I am perfectly serious. Next time he has "one of those nights" offer to help him get into Re-Hab. It might work, next time he approaches you about something. You could even have an "interventionist" there (depending on how you feel about doing that. It might seem a bit extreme, and maybe it is - but it does depend on the situation).  

I just wanna see you fulfilled, here, Lady Ellen, because you are such a neat person.

- Susan 



LadyEllen -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/24/2007 7:46:26 AM)

Thanks Susan

Problem we have with rehab here, is that there just arent the facilities unless one can pay thousands per week for a private clinic. The health service has something ridiculous like a hundred beds for the country for rehab, which with so much demand is simply not enough unless you wait on a list for a few years.

He's detoxed several times now, and its risky what with convulsions and fits and all that. His mom has to come and stay with him at those times just in case as there's really no one else who can spend the time, it being 24/7 for a week or so.

In the end though, the impression I get (and I'm not a therapist or anything) is that until he deals with what happened when he was 7 and everything that developed after that, he could have rehab every month and he'd still go back to it. Then the problem becomes, that he wont talk to anyone who might know what theyre doing to help him deal with it all, as he only talks to me about this stuff for some reason.

E



draba -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/24/2007 9:10:40 AM)

Have you tried AA? It works



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/24/2007 9:16:27 AM)

IT all depends ladies on where you are looking for a hard good man smiles..bounty



Sylph -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/24/2007 11:50:41 AM)

Finding a good partner is hard.A good friend can be hard to find as well.  Face it we all have our little eccentricities. I was pretty shocked that I found an appropiate person on this site.

You have my empathies regarding your ex. I have an ex with substace issues in my dark closet as well. Funny how very gifted and brilliant pple latch on to that. Substance ussage and any drinking that makes me uncomfortable is a deal breaker now for anyone in my life. ( Lover, friend, 'fun' person) I simply cannot go through that again. No matter how much help you give them, unless they want to stop, you will be the bad person.



leatherbndnloct -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/24/2007 11:59:09 AM)

thats why I champion the law of large numbers.  Its important when your looking for someone to have a place where you can go and meet your kind of people that has some turn over rate, or to keep doing things that you enjoy that other people enjoy, so that you keep getting to spend time with new people until you meet one that you like.

never forget the prinicple law of computation, "when you keep doing what your doing, you get what you got."



AAkasha -> RE: a good man really is hard to find (3/24/2007 1:28:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Is it just me, I'm wondering, or is it a general thing?

I mean, I get anything from zero to ten mails a day from guys, plus a similar number of guys viewing my profile. They're all either nutters, looking for a mom, well beyond any sensible limit of depravity or living on the other side of the world.

There's been a few meets too though, that came out of the horde. Promising up to that point, they then turn out to fall into what one might impolitely call, losers.

From what I read here, such is the general lot - but I'm wondering.

Are the majority of guys really like this, or is it some sort of front, that's perceived to be how they ought to be, that would place them in one of a few categories?

"I'm pathetic, please pity me (mommy)"
"I'm a bit weird (honest) because I dont want to seem boring"
"I've done it all (well, actually not) so my tastes are now extreme"

E


One problem is in how you define "loser."  One person's "loser" is another person's treasure.

I have found that a great many submissives may appear to be "losers" but really just need a little guidance or advice, and they clean up quite nicely.  But who wants to invest the work if you don't know what will come of it?  And how do you tell who are sincerely looking vs. those looking for something quick and easy?

Akasha



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