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Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/24/2007 10:37:52 AM

subSeekn2BFree

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Mistresses, I need advise.

Background Info: I am a submissive and I’ve known this since I was 14. I have never been a D/s relationships but I have good understanding of what I want, need and desire. -- When I hit a rough finanical spot, I switched and became a pro Domme (non-sexual) for a month (the Domme thing is another story…

). Needless to say, I believed I was a good Domme. I took the time to learn my submissives, learned about their desires and gave them exactly what they were longing for. I had a nice following, but I found it to be every empty because there was no mental connection. Additionally, I got back in the black. So I returned to my heart’s desire and I reassumed my natural role of submissive.

Present Day: My vanilla ex-boyfriend, who is naturally very dominant, (we still love each other) recently called me. During our relationship, he learned that I was into D/s but was never comfort because he didn’t know what to do. He informed me that since our breakup he had met several women who turned out to submissives. He was very frank and let me know that had tried some things but uncomfortable and that he was still emotionally attached to me. He wants to get back together.

The Opportunity: Now my ex is tough, dominate, macho, latino man, but he suggested that he submit to me, so he can understand what I need and want. (I am still in awe…) And he told me to do it for real and to not have the kid gloves on. Eventually, he will assume the Master roll and he looks forward to becoming my first master.

Now I had some good Domme experiences in the past but I want to make this good for him and us. Can any one offer me any advise? Give me stories to read or have any experiences to share? Thank you all in advance for sharing and for helping me make this work this time round. Be prosperous.

Respectfully,sub queenie__________________
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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/24/2007 10:42:32 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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Sounds like you have a sub in dom's clothing to me. If he really wants to "be your Master" i don't see what that has to do with him having to experience you as his dom - and the "no gloves on" cinches it for me that he's looking for someone to dom him and he's dressing it up to entice you.

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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/24/2007 11:12:06 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
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WE have a good female friend that has served us in the past,in the last few years she has taken on the task of training her new younger master whom she loves,so far so good.She may have created a monster smiles..bounty

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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/24/2007 12:00:01 PM

firefey

Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
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he may be opporating under the addage that all good masters/mistresses must first have been submissive, to understand that head space. if so, great. but i wouldn't suggest him be your sub. perhaps a mentor who is also dominant, puting him in a more switch position would be better. yes, you are sub at heart, but you keep saying the thing you lacked with your previous clients was the mental connection. here is this man with whom you have not only a mental but emotional attatchment. why waste that on the role you do not wish to persue. there are loads of books out there (screw the roses, send me the thorns; the loving dominant; sm 101; different loving; anything by jack rinella; ect) that you can read together. but i really think reading coupled with a mentor would best fit this situation.

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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/28/2007 5:22:49 PM

sweetstorm

Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
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I just want to throw in my two cents and say that it IS possible.

I am a submissive but was Dom-less for a bit. Found a nilla boy that I had sex with and it got to be a regular thing. I liked him immediately because he just had this PRESENCE that made me weak in the knees. Just sex, but often enough that it went from just sex to discussing fantasies to me telling him that I'm a sub to him asking me what I liked and him wanting to explore this a little with me. A little experimenting here and a little research on his part there and suddenly I couldn't call him my little nilla boy anymore.

I talked to him about bdsm but he had the whole stigma thing stuck in his head and kind of scoffed at it. It got to the point, though, that I realized I was submitting to him whether he was aware of it or not. One day I up and told him that I wanted to be his own personal little slut. He suddenly perked up. Once he got into a little more research, he got a little more open-minded about the idea of submission and why someone would want to submit or dominate. Three months later, I'm happily collared by my little "nilla" boy, who has managed to earn my trust and respect multiple times over any experienced Dom I have met.

Someone told me I must be "topping from the bottom" and didn't know what submission was. He makes me happy, I make him happy. Who really fricking cares beyond that???

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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/28/2007 5:48:20 PM

zindyslave

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I agree that he probably needs a mentor to train him not you, if you want to be his sub being a domme to him might hurt that. So, I think the best thing would be a mentor or have him research it or you can do some reading online and e-mail him links he can go to to research it.

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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/28/2007 8:21:40 PM

DominaSmartass

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From: This month? Maryland
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I'm going to be the odd one out here and say that I think it might work. If he turns out to like submitting, you might find yourself regretting it, but if he's really a dom at heart then when he's good and ready he will take the reins from you once and for all and there will be no turning back. :)

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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/29/2007 6:52:14 PM

TigressFL

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Joined: 6/8/2006
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The first question that popped into my mind is...

How are you going to handle (and feel about) if and/or when he decides that he wants to be Dom again and more importanly "your Dom" after he has been in service to you? Many (not all of course) have a hard time serving someone that once served them. Something to think about for sure.

It has been my experience that many (not all of course) people that switch relationship roles (Dom to sub and vice versa) outside of play time, have a tendency not to be able to maintain that role for any extended period of time and be happy, unless it is actually the role they are more naturally inclined to take in the first place.

I suggest that you think long and hard about "what you want to get out of his service to you". Be honest with yourself. Are you wanting to do it simply to "please him" or are you wanting to do it "to please yourself"?

Is there a chance that he is actually seeking a "Service Top" to "do nasty and wicked things to him" rather than actual submission outside of "play"?

Just some food for thought,
Tigress~FL

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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/29/2007 8:33:35 PM

MissSCD

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sub queenie:

You did a very good job in explaining the situation to us. I was hesisitant to respond to it until I actually sat down to read it and was pretty impressed with your story.

Here is the thing. You are a submissive female, and you have a Latin Male Dominant in nature. Sometimes, it is hard for this to come out.

So, if you really love this man, just take it easy and try to explain these things to him.
Show him some web sites on the subject matter and give him time to understand it.

Then again, there are some you can never change. That is what happened with my ex-husband. When the opportunity come to split, we did just that. I hope that doesn't happen to you.

I hope it goes well for you.

Regards, MissSCD

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RE: Need Advise: How to Train my Master? - 3/29/2007 11:01:50 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

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Joined: 2/15/2007
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My thoughts are slightly different

He knows that you are much more experienced than him. That must be intimidating for any man. He might only want you to show him what you know by doing it to him (as a way of teaching him how to do it to you).

If he really wants to know how to dominate you, you need to tell him your fantasies, give him books, suggest he gets a mentor etc etc. Its going to be a lot more complicated than just doing it to him so he can turn around and do the same thing to you.

But good on him for being so willing to try!

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