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Marital Status Question - 3/24/2007 7:45:02 PM   
tiemeupplz1


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/12/2004
Status: offline 		This is my very first post here so please be gentle.  I seem to attract Masters/Dominants/Word of choice who tend to be already connected with significant others in their lives.  Frequently, they are not kind when I ask fairly early on in discussions if they are involved.  I admit to having been with a married Master in the past only to find that the stress of spending all those special times together like Christmas, New Years, etc. were impossible for us as he was busy living his other life while I was busy crying my eyes out.  I've learned better now but would like thoughts on how to approach the subject gently but firmly so it doesn't seem so that it's not quite so blunt.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/24/2007 7:53:45 PM   
sexypet


Posts: 225
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Seems to me that if you put in your profile (like i have) that You seek only single/available men and you do not want to be involved with  married/attached men -- that should be all you need.  (Mind you, i have not read your profile).

i seldom get contacted by married/attached men anymore, and when i do, They generally admit it initially and that They are merely seeking conversation or to communicate some thought to me.  Most times, it is a compliment, which are always welcome.

(in reply to tiemeupplz1)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/24/2007 7:53:53 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		This may be an unpopular stance but I think your accepting the ~term~ Master/Dom or what ever a bit too seriously.  They are only men and IMHO ~men~ need to hear things clearly and simply.  Sometimes to do that there just is no way to say it gently.  Just say it.




_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to tiemeupplz1)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/24/2007 7:54:19 PM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Well to be honest, don't think you should have to ask, they should be up front with you from the get go on that one.  However, I see nothing wrong with just throwing it out there in the begining before you both spend a lot of time and energy on something your not interested in.  I too have been in that position of getting what ever time and energy is left after his main life has used him all up, I see nothing wrong with not wanting someone elses left overs.  If he wants total commitment from me then I expect hes giving the same.  But hey, thats just the way I feel about it, others may feel differently.

Gardenia

(in reply to tiemeupplz1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/24/2007 8:49:34 PM   
AdoraLooking


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		This is my first time posting to, so I'm nervous in answering. I've been with someone who's been married before to, so I understand where your coming from. I've told myself before in the past that I wouldn't do that, though I did it that once, and I won't do it anymore because it's not what I'm seeking. It's to painful and it's not for me. Sometimes I think you just have to come right out and ask, though I think they should be honest and up front about it. When I first joined, I didn't have that I didn't want to be with a married man in my profile, so I got a lot of emails from men who were married or were in poly relationships, so I decided to write that into my profile and haven't gotten any sense then. Those are my thoughts. I hope they help.

(in reply to gardenia100)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/24/2007 9:14:15 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Before a first date "So, are you involved with anyone else right now?"

If they don't like being asked, that's pretty much a sign that you don't want to be with them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AdoraLooking)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/25/2007 6:09:51 AM   
veronicaboundcd


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		If they get mad when you ask an important question like that, then they seriously are not worth your time, and in fact, if this topic doesn't come up very early in the conversation, I'd question His motives and status ...
I was involved once with a married Domme .... and did so with Her husbands consent .... I'll NEVER NEVER NEVER make a mistake like that ever again ..... for some of the very reasons which you stated, and more.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/25/2007 6:19:37 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		If you don't want to deal with married men, then just tell them flat out, that's the way it is. i personally won't get into a relationship with someone who is married. If she is willing to lie and cheat on her husband or wife, then why wouldn't she do the same thing to me?

(in reply to tiemeupplz1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/25/2007 6:30:38 AM   
Badkitty0810


Posts: 223
Joined: 2/18/2006
From: NH
Status: offline 		I have found that the more clear you are about what you seek, the less likely you are to be contacted by inappropriate people. I noticed that you did state in your profile that you are not interested in men who are married or attached, but maybe you need to expand on that. I also put in my profile that I'm seeking a long term relationship and also had to add a part at the beginning stating that I was not interested in getting involved in any way with a couple because apparently, people have trouble comprehending that I'm looking for a SINGLE man. LOL  Welcome to the wonders of an online community. Don't despair though. There are some great people here. 

(in reply to tiemeupplz1)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/25/2007 6:44:46 AM   
tiemeupplz1


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/12/2004
Status: offline 		I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts.  They made a great deal of sense and I will be changing my profile accordingly.  Of course, some will still have to be taught how to read. 

(in reply to Badkitty0810)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/25/2007 1:20:16 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		tiemeupplz1, it's not that you "attract" them, it's that they're out there, throwing their hooks into the water hoping to come up with someone who will give them what they want. 

If you check out my profile, you'll see that I plainly state "No married men", etc, and even went on a little rant one night about it, lol.  I still get inquiries, because, like you said, they don't read. 

Just because someone calls themself "Dom" or "Master" or "Sir" or whatever does NOT obligate you to them in any way, shape or form.  Stick to your guns till you find the right partner  

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to tiemeupplz1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/25/2007 3:24:08 PM   
Badkitty0810


Posts: 223
Joined: 2/18/2006
From: NH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiemeupplz1

I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts.  They made a great deal of sense and I will be changing my profile accordingly.  Of course, some will still have to be taught how to read. 


To paraphrase and old addage, you can lead a person to "Hooked on Phonics" but you can't make'em read.

(in reply to tiemeupplz1)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/26/2007 5:19:33 AM   
nookie


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline 		I was the wife of the man cheating. By the time I found out he was up to number four. If they do it once, they'll do it again.

I put into my profile "If you're married don't bother." I then followed that up by asking the question of any one I was interested in talking to. A few were. Go figure! But no one got angry when I asked.


(in reply to Badkitty0810)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/26/2007 6:23:09 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i stuck to my principles about no married/involved men and while there were a few jerks who responded in a negative way, it worked out well for me to know what i wanted and not give up hope in finding Him.  It took me a very long time to find that very special One but i would not have found Him had i been distracted by the guys who tried to bully me into submission.  

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to tiemeupplz1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/26/2007 6:49:43 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		How about im seeking a long term relationship and you must be avaliable every weekend.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/26/2007 10:13:03 AM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

How about im seeking a long term relationship and you must be avaliable every weekend.

Great answer!


_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Marital Status Question - 3/28/2007 3:32:21 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Badkitty0810

I have found that the more clear you are about what you seek, the less likely you are to be contacted by inappropriate people. 


i would agree with that, if i didn't get so many emails from men, most of whom admit they know my profile says i am a lesbian and don't want email from men. But they think they are special for some reason, so they go ahead and write any way. 

(in reply to Badkitty0810)
Profile   Post #: 17
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