ravenna
Posts: 121
Joined: 12/22/2004
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A really interesting question, temptation! After reading this thread my master Michelangelo and i talked about this issue off and on all day, so please forgive me if i have a lot of words stored up to say here.
Basically, i am in the closet to some extent in respect to everyone in the whole world, even all my friends here at CollarMe -- except to my owners. They know every secret thing about me, except for all the secrets that none of us have discovered yet, and we try to find a new secret almost every night...
But in relation to some people in my life, for example nearly all of my rather large and pretty traditional Catholic family and all of my two owners' families (also Catholic), my life as a sex slave is buried so deep in the closet, it's actually wrapped in the cloak of invisibility concealed in the locked trunk inside the secret dungeon beneath the hidden trapdoor behind the armoire at the very back of the closet, and my owners have no plans to ever change this. If i suddenly announced to them that i wanted to come out to all our families, maybe throw myself a belated "collaring shower" and print pretty invitations and register for naughty gifts at Kinks 'R' Us, they would lock me up in my cage and call a psychiatrist, or maybe a welder to seal the door shut. My relationship with my mother, for example, would never be the same, even though i know i must have gotten much of what i am from her. She's a very strong and sexual woman, even at sixty-something, who is totally focused on serving my father and making sure his life is good before anything else, even though she always has to put up a royal fuss before he eventually gets his own way; she even puts him first before us kids (though she's a mother tiger about us too). But she would be absolutely horrified to hear me call myself (proudly) a sex slave who lives and breathes to serve my owners. There would be scenes, not good ones, and she might actually never speak to me again, and i love my mama too much, i couldn't bear that. My owners' mothers would also be, ahem, rather taken aback, and we would never ever hear the end of it; although there might be some knowing smiles on their dads' faces...
The fact that i belong to both of my guys is equally buried under the closet. The families all know the official version, that i was the serious college-plus girlfriend of Boyfriend (Owner) One, then i lived with Boyfriend (Owner) Two for several years, then disappeared for a couple of years with Boyfriend (Owner) Three and no one heard much from me, and now suddenly i'm happily back with Two and still great friends with One. My two owners' families love me and treat me like a princess, but they would be beyond shocked to know what i really am to their darling boys One and Two. My family, some of them at least, think i'm a slut, a tramp, a whore, a failure who threw away her "fabulous career" to be a live-in kept woman, and that's bad enough, but if they thought i was actually a sex slave they might call a priest for an exorcism. Or the cops. Or, worst of all, my dad.
On the other hand, a lot of my high school and college girlfriends know at least some of my secrets, though never all, and i'm still really close to several of them. i know their secrets too, so we keep each other's closets closed. Some of them are subs, some are very switchy, none are slaves, though one would like to be, and probably will be someday. Several of my owners' friends know at least something about what i am, if not all the salacious details; and a select handful of their friends, currently just one lovely couple, have had very direct firsthand experience of what my life is all about and what my owners use me for. And there are two members of my family who know some of my secrets: my Little Big Sis, my sister who's only a year older (i'm the youngest of six siblings, all much older except for her); she's a would-be submissive in a very vanilla but happy marriage, two great kids, she says she lives a slave's life vicariously through me. (But she wants more, and i don't know if it'll ever happen for her.) And then there's my niece Natalie (not her real name), who's fifteen now, her mom is one of my older sisters, the very conservative one; everyone in my family says Natalie looks and sounds just like her sexy Aunt Ravenna (though that's not what they call me). She and i broke all our barriers and shared our secrets a couple of months ago, with my owners' permission, and oh my God if the family only knew! She is just like me at fifteen and then some, she knows a hell of a lot more about it than i did at fifteen, and she and i have sworn a blood oath to keep each other's closets locked down tight. She calls me her "mentor," and i've promised some day to help her find a "tormentor" when she's ready. And she'll be ready soon, i found mine at nineteen...
But what makes this question a burning issue for my owners and me is that they are gradually dragging me out of the closet just a little, and i am thrilled and terrified all at once. On a physical level, they are imposing some modifications on my body which will be harder to conceal, and i (and they) will have to learn how to deal with this. My septum is now pierced, and i will get a ring installed to replace the retainer later this month. This will still be concealable for things like family events and going to the opera, but on a normal daily basis i will soon be very obviously a noseringed slavegirl. On a college campus this would probably pass without much comment, but in my life this will raise some questions wherever they take me. i wear a permanent ownership tattoo and body piercings and have for years, but most bikinis keep it all pretty private. i will soon wear at least two more tattoos, and i'm told they will be "generally concealable," but to a much lesser extent. (No, it's not up to me where these marks will be, i don't even know what they will look like yet.) i anticipate some embarrassing questions, say at the beach or other people's pools, or worse, embarrassing looks without questions. And sometime this year i will receive a permanent collar which will not be removable, at least not by me; i have several collars now, and they like to change them daily, but the new collar might be installed for life; their plans are not final yet. After having my enslavement be nearly invisible to the nosy vanilla world all these years, dealing with these marks will be -- words fail me. Challenging doesn't begin to cover it.
And all this is possible now because my owners' lives have changed since they owned me before, and their attitudes toward owning me have changed, and we're all a little order and, i don't know, wiser? Braver? Crazier? They have the experience now to take owning me both more seriously and more playfully. They have the freedom now to let me become more visibly in public what i always have been inside and in private, and this will stretch all of our comfort zones; mine most of all, of course. They can always simply smile and say, "Oh, the woman who looks like she might be a sex slave? Yes, she belongs to us. Beautiful, isn't she? Is she really what she appears to be? Well, let's find out: Darling, lift your skirt for us and tell these ladies and gentlemen what you really are..."
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Closets! - 
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RE: Closets! - 
However next year she will be 18 and able to make her own decisions - Master and I have a little joke about the "junior Domme" 
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