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Good News/Worst News - 3/25/2007 10:53:33 AM

LotusSong

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A man went to see his doctor for the results of his annual physical.

“So, what’s the news, Doc?”

“Well, I have bad news and worst news”.

“Give me the bad news then, Doc”

“I’m sorry to say you have only 24 hrs to live”.

“Damn! What could be worse???!!!”

“ummm.. I forgot to call you yesterday".

(add on your bad news/worst news when you run across one :)

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RE: Good News/Worst News - 3/25/2007 11:34:05 AM

nyrisa

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This friend of mine had felt unwell for months, so he decided to see his doctor. The doctor examined him and referred him to the hospital to see various specialists. After a couple of weeks, all the test results came through, so my friend returned to see his doctor.

"I'm very sorry", said the doctor. "I'm afraid I have bad news and worse news."

"Tell me the worst."

"I'll be honest, you have cancer, you'll be dead in three months."

"Shit! " said my friend. "What on earth is the bad news?"

"You also have Alzheimer's Disease."

"Alzheimer's? Oh well, at least I don't have cancer."

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A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

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RE: Good News/Worst News - 3/25/2007 3:07:02 PM

mastercreeker

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A man visits his doctor and is diagnosed with the last stages of rabies. The doctor is sorry but it has advanced past the stage medical science and he isn't long for the world. The man quietly absorbs the news, then asks for a pen and some paper. After being given them, he starts frantically scribbling. The doctor watches for a few seconds, then says, "I'm not sure you will have enough time to get that will legally acceptable". The patient glares up at the doctor, "Will, my ass...I'm writing a list of people I'm gonna bite !"

(in reply to nyrisa)

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RE: Good News/Worst News - 3/25/2007 5:35:51 PM

nyrisa

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An Irishman named Mike O'Leary went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Mike in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have a cancer known as Galloping Leukemia and it can't be cured. I give you two weeks to a month." Mike, who was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son, who had been waiting.

Mike said, "Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints." After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs, some tears, and more beers.

They were eventually approached by some of Mike's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Mike told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave O'Leary their condolences and they all had a few more beers. After his friends left, Mike's son leaned over and whispered in confusion, "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer. You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS."

Mike replied, "I am dying from cancer, son. I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."

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A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to mastercreeker)

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