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RE: Parents - 3/25/2007 11:55:19 PM   
Smileyking1


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Mothers get that way about their children.  I am guessing your Mom was assuming that you were going through a phase and that you werent nearly as serious as you are.  She probably chalked your relationship up to a new relationship quirk and didnt believe the part about your needing permission and such.  Vanillas often dont, and parents are never comfortable wth their children giving up control to someone else.  They have put their effort into hoping that you would be an independant person and you are essentialy telling your mom that is not your desire.  Or worse, she thinks it IS your desire and that yourMaster has convinced you otherwise.  Its a sticky situation, but you might want to simply tell her that you have chosen to keep the collar on, and you dont plan on removng it with or without permission for anyone.  It is your decision to wear it. 

Hope that helps
DV


Agree highly...when I first read the post I was shocked that ANY parents let alone overprotective ones would understand what your lifestyle involves and not go nuclear, but if they did just believe it was a phase then I can see the above happening...interesting...you really should discuss your problems with your parents...never worked for me , but hey I guess not all people have that problem lol

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 10:06:41 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		it is entirely possable she thought it was a fase and was just humering me, untill it became real that is. I dont really know but you all have made many great points.


Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Smileyking1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 10:12:41 AM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		It actually sounds like your doing really great.  Most cant even aproach there parents about shit like that... especially if the parents viewed sights that shows what there little girl is getting into.  The whole thing would be a really huge stretch for them and there are so manny issues they are not brining up.... your actually lucky.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 10:26:05 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		My dad understands wonderfully and I can some times talk to him about stuff (never going into inapropriate detail) and he is great and the psycological part and giveing advise. My mom is very into females beeing equal and doesnt understand so much that beeing a slave doesnt make me any less of a person. She exepts me but worries a lot sometimes more then others like i said she is fickle about it. Me and Mom are way close always have been but I have to say she is a bit of an oxymoron. I mean the same lady that got me a vibe for my 18th birthday and took me to a strip club for my 21'st is the same one that is totaly over protective.


Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to PONYSEEKER)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 11:00:42 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Oh well they found out because we used to share a computer and I started really young doing reserch on the subject, my mom checked the logs and founnd the sites and asked me about it. Im not big on lieng so it came out then, Im glad though because she was at least at the time rather accepting of it. And it makes all this a lot easier that she knows, but at times like this a lot harder.


Magik's slave


i'm glad to hear though that your parents are accepting of you and Master's togetherness. My parents don't accept it and hence it's a little harder to hide the toys, which is why i moved out . But i know it's hard to move out when you don't have a lot to go on, i was the same way.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 11:04:26 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		No actually I am very luck.. I just got frustrated about the fight over the collar that me and my mom had yesterday but indeed everyone here has made me relise how very lucky I am that my parents are accepting of me and of Master I just wish my mom could understand a little more... but she is VERY dominent she was always the one in controll in my house so i guess she doesnt understand my desire to submit.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 11:12:49 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Isn't it funny that she's annoyed that you won't do what SHE wants you to, because you're doing what YOU want to do (which just happens to be obeying someone else?)

You might try and make a joke out of it and see if that helps- ask if her she wants you to be submissive to her and follow her rules of life, or if she wants you to create your own life and follow the rules you want to follow.

Dominants often don't see the difference between "not in control" and "not controlling MY way"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 11:21:56 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		LOL WOW LA again you seem to be right on track here and makeing a lot of sence...

My mom is a great person but very Domanent and very much "my way or the highway" but she is so naturaly domanent and carismatic that she has never really had trouble getting people to always do as she says (and it has been a real bite in the ass that her children dont always!!)

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 11:23:49 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Even as someone in the lifestyle, as a mother, if I found out that my daughter was a slave, I'd be extremely concerned. I would need to know that she was informed about the risks, that her ownership was consensual, and that her Master was experienced, sane, and valued her enough to safegaurd her health and wellbeing. The first two items can be covered in a conversation with her, but the third would really involve talking with her Master. If all is well, then I would accept the decision my intelligent, mature daughter makes, and then whatever questions arose along the way could be settled easily. And those concerns are not BDSM specific. Those are things that I would need to know to feel at ease about any vanilla relationship my children were in.

Any good mom is always going to have her daughter's health and safety as her top concern, no matter how old they get. If you don't believe me......then wait until you have a daughter. *grins*

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 11:45:22 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline 		Speaking as a DOMINANT mother who has a problem with the daughter's boyfriend, I have to mirror Nyrisa's comment

quote:

  Any good mom is always going to have her daughter's health and safety as her top concern, no matter how old they get. If you don't believe me......then wait until you have a daughter. *grins*


I will leave it at that for now.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 12:05:54 PM   
BootBlackBlast


Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline 		I generally would point out to your mom that your Master isn't forcing you to wear this "collar." It is something you sought at one point in time and you continue to choose to wear it. And it sounds like this particular collar is a very unobtrusive one. With my male slave who wasn't comfortable with wearing a collar to his internship at the Mayor's office, we negotiated for another form of collaring. He instead wore a locking cock ring. For females I've seen anklets and bracelets as well. Anklets can be covered with socks or pants very easily. Talk with your mom and explain to her what that collar means to you. Ease her fears and tell her about the safety precautions in your relationship. Explain to her that your Master does hear your concerns and takes them into account before making a decision. Have a heart to heart and ask her what her concerns really are. Answer her questions truthfully but generally. It's tough for parents to see their kids submit to someone else especially when they've worked so hard either trying to get you to submit to them or to speak for yourself. I really think that mom just needs to know that you can ask to be released at any time and that this is all very consensual.

_____________________________

Leather Rubbin and Dubbin

Bootblack Blast
Mama's Blast

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 1:48:36 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		i "lost" my mother at a young age, so i cannot really offer any advice, but from the way you are making it sound, its boiling down to her being a jealous woman of her lovely daughter in her prime with a man she is so devoted to ..... that well, shes gonna make yer life hell.

_____________________________


"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 1:52:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

i "lost" my mother at a young age, so i cannot really offer any advice, but from the way you are making it sound, its boiling down to her being a jealous woman of her lovely daughter in her prime with a man she is so devoted to ..... that well, shes gonna make yer life hell.

Interesting, I don't get much sense of jealousy here- the mother is concerned and worried, but hasn't expressed insecurity or feeling threatened. 

And when you live with your mom, she could make her life a lot more of a living hell than nagging over a collar every so often if that's what she really wanted to do.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 2:26:56 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


Interesting, I don't get much sense of jealousy here- the mother is concerned and worried, but hasn't expressed insecurity or feeling threatened.

And when you live with your mom, she could make her life a lot more of a living hell than nagging over a collar every so often if that's what she really wanted to do.

i am picking this up because:

why the collar? there are a MILLION other things, especially when aware of her lifestyle. she is picking out the one most symbolic part of the relationship and trying to remove it. playing concerned over the fact that it cant come off, i see as a cover up.

< Message edited by mixielicous -- 3/26/2007 2:27:56 PM >

_____________________________


"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 2:50:36 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


Interesting, I don't get much sense of jealousy here- the mother is concerned and worried, but hasn't expressed insecurity or feeling threatened.

And when you live with your mom, she could make her life a lot more of a living hell than nagging over a collar every so often if that's what she really wanted to do.

i am picking this up because:

why the collar? there are a MILLION other things, especially when aware of her lifestyle. she is picking out the one most symbolic part of the relationship and trying to remove it. playing concerned over the fact that it cant come off, i see as a cover up.


Oh mixie, mixie, mixie....Her mom is bummed....What parent would ever want their daughter to get involved in this as a sub or a slave....If they are a nurturing caring parent.....NONE!

We try to teach our children to be confident that they are fully capable of standing alone....We want to see our daughters grow up to be independent and bow down to no one...I can see no benefit in explaining this life to a parent.

_____________________________



(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 3:03:53 PM   
ScreamerGirl


Posts: 65
Joined: 1/8/2005
Status: offline 		I'd never come out to my parents.  I've kept my sex life hidden from them for 26 years and I don't intend to change that now.

Why?

Because that's an unnecessary burden that they do not need.  They wouldn't understand it.  Coming out to them would only give them more to worry about, more to wonder what they'd "done wrong" as parents, and more misunderstanding.  It would be wholly selfish of me to lay that burden at their feet and I refuse to do it.

Having said that, if you have parents who are open-minded enough to understand - Truly understand - the dynamic of your relationship - more power to you.

It just ain't gonna happen around here.  Ever.

PS - I don't think the mother is jealous, I think the mother is concerned.  And considering that the parents don't seem to have any sort of "that" kind of relationship, I doubt that she understands it all that well, and that's probably the basis for her concern.  If you handle it as such, and not as a personal affront, you'll likely be able to find some solid middle ground.


_____________________________

~Screamer~

Verbosities

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 3:11:28 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Good parents raise their offspring to be strong and independent people that we won't have to worry about. So telling her you aren't independent makes her worry about what might happen if he broke off with you and she was no longer living. You need to address her worries.

But I see no reason to tell anybody about my personal life. They've met him, they like him and the conclusions they've drawn about our relationship from what they see is that he's a very protective and caring man who loves me. And that's what it's all about, I'm happy with him and it shows.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 5:03:18 PM   
VelvetIronTouch


Posts: 16
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline 		1400 posts.
And you don't yet know about linebreaks or apostrophies.

I'm not quite a grammar nazi,  but, fuck.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 7:31:43 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VelvetIronTouch

1400 posts.
And you don't yet know about linebreaks or apostrophies.

I'm not quite a grammar nazi,  but, fuck.


ok no one asked you!!!



As for minxi Im a bit insulted by your insinuation, no my mom isnt jelouse.

and for those that said it was because my mom wants to see me be strong and independent... I dont know what makes you think because Im a slave that that means Im not eather of those things.. My mom raised me well and is very proud of me, I am stong and rather independent... I love Master and chose to be with him however my life doesnt depend on him... Id be sad if I lost him that is true but im not so dependent on him that if i didnt have him Id be lost... We are dependent on eachother isnt that how a relationship is suposed to be??


Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to VelvetIronTouch)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Parents - 3/26/2007 7:40:11 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
ok no one asked you!!!

Magik since when do you think someone has to be asked for an opinion in order for it to be volunteered?  Are you still so easily riled?
quote:


As for minxi Im a bit insulted by your insinuation, no my mom isnt jelouse.

It wasn't an insinuation- it was a direct outright statement.

And if you know it's not true, there's nothing to be insulted over.
quote:


and for those that said it was because my mom wants to see me be strong and independent... I dont know what makes you think because Im a slave that that means Im not eather of those things.. My mom raised me well and is very proud of me, I am stong and rather independent... I love Master and chose to be with him however my life doesnt depend on him... Id be sad if I lost him that is true but im not so dependent on him that if i didnt have him Id be lost... We are dependent on eachother isnt that how a relationship is suposed to be??


Magik's slave

Look at it from your mothers perspective- she can't see those layers, she only sees you needing permission to do things and not having free choice and not WANTING to take free choice in your life.  Can't you see how that would lead someone to think you didn't have the ability and worry?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 40
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