RE: Collaring - Its not a fad

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Collaring - Its not a fad

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 11:44:17 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

Master and I have been together for 4 years, married 2 and half of those 4. In my eyes though, the marriage means nothing. It is nothing more than a contract to settle leagalities is something should happen to either of us.

I, personally, am eagerly awaiting the day he officially collars me though. His belief though is that there is no collars for a period of 6 years; all time before that is meant as a learning phase.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 21

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 12:48:54 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

By what I see on these boards and on others is that people seem to jump straight into a collar and then wonder why it did not work.

They seem to wait a month or two and then they collar their sub. In my thoughts this is just stupid. A collar should be considered like an engagement ring. Most people would not propose in a few months so why put a collar on someone.

Does your insecruities and mistrust force you to need to put a collar on. Remembering that the collar will not stop someone having sex or playing with someone else.

Too many people are throwing collars about and basically ruining what the collar is meant to stand for.

I agree, but yanno what? It happens all the time, I mean look at the divorce rate in America its not exactly stellar. For me the equating of a collar to an engagement ring coupled with the low success rate being directly in proportion to the rush and level of public attention for a collaring meant that a collaring just has never been high on our radar nor has it resonated with either of us as a sign of ownership.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 22

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 12:52:51 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Why does it matter what other people do?
There are so many different collars -- consideration, play, I don't care if someone slaps a collar aorund the neck of another. It's their relationship. If they do it and then return here to whine about it a few weeks later, it gives us something read and shake our heads over -- entertainment value.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 23

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 1:17:51 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Why does it matter what other people do?
There are so many different collars -- consideration, play, I don't care if someone slaps a collar aorund the neck of another. It's their relationship. If they do it and then return here to whine about it a few weeks later, it gives us something read and shake our heads over -- entertainment value.

I think people should do whatever works for them.

But I think that because to me its become commonplace to collar quickly and its also become commonplace to equate collars to engagement rings that I simply have little interest in that symbol. To me it doesn't represent something that I think meshes in well with ownership or my relationship. If it mattered to my owner, I'd be collared, but it doesn't so I'm not (tho I have a drawer full of things that look like collars that I could wear).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 24

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 1:28:27 PM

absoluteTPEslave

Posts: 30
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

do i count in your theory?
i have been "single", or what i call free for many years now, and i have been on this chat site a little over a year and i have as yet to JUMP into a collar. i tell all the Masters the basic same thing. i am going slowly and taking my vows into enslavement very seriously. the way i see it....if i take my time and find a Master who has a view on life much as i do, i should think we would have at least a fighting chance at making it work.

yes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

By what I see on these boards and on others is that people seem to jump straight into a collar and then wonder why it did not work.

They seem to wait a month or two and then they collar their sub. In my thoughts this is just stupid. A collar should be considered like an engagement ring. Most people would not propose in a few months so why put a collar on someone.

Does your insecruities and mistrust force you to need to put a collar on. Remembering that the collar will not stop someone having sex or playing with someone else.

Too many people are throwing collars about and basically ruining what the collar is meant to stand for.

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 25

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 1:37:16 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

fast reply, have read the first page, off to the second after i post this.

my collar was presented to me after a one to two month consideration period, including to the 4 months we were already together.

almost a year later ............

and i wore my collar every day till june when forced to swich [ i work outside and the leather + sweat = rash] i still have a choke chain collar i wear with the padlock but it has not been required for a while, i have made it past the "prove your seriousness" part.

i will be moving onto a light silver chain with a padlock because the clientèle i work for, well the puppy chain will not cut it. my company is already making such a huge statement by standing behind my piercings.

and my claddagh, well i got that when it became obvious we were serious for e/o

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to stella40)

Post #: 26

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 3:16:01 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

So my four year relationship is a fad? We really don't love each other? I'll have to tell him that.

I'm one of those who was collared within a month and guess what, we're still happy together. But if you want to tell him that he was wrong when he knew at the end of that first day that I was the right one for him, feel free. Of course he'll feel free to laugh in your face.

(in reply to stella40)

Post #: 27

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 3:22:35 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

So my four year relationship is a fad? We really don't love each other? I'll have to tell him that.

I'm one of those who was collared within a month and guess what, we're still happy together. But if you want to tell him that he was wrong when he knew at the end of that first day that I was the right one for him, feel free. Of course he'll feel free to laugh in your face.

amen. :)

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 28

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 3:24:26 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

So my four year relationship is a fad? We really don't love each other? I'll have to tell him that.

I'm one of those who was collared within a month and guess what, we're still happy together. But if you want to tell him that he was wrong when he knew at the end of that first day that I was the right one for him, feel free. Of course he'll feel free to laugh in your face.

true, but the OP obviously wasnt directed towards ppl in your [lucky] situation.

you cant deny you know what she is talking about though. that girl who was collared like 10 times last year? yea i think she's directing this to that girl, lol

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 29

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 3:29:05 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

I know mixie, but people who announce rules that everybody else no matter what must follow annoy the hell out of me. When he announced that no one month collar could possibly last, then he opened himself up to criticism. Besides, offering advice based on his experience is one thing, but basically he was ordering every sub on the site to follow his "one true way".

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 30

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 3:31:03 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

I believe he said that people that collar within a month or two are stupid, not that it wouldn't last. In terms of it not working he said that in hindsight people ask why didn't it work after collaring fast and crashing and burning.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 31

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 3:41:31 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

Collaring is definitely a personal choice within the relationship...

After almost 9 years of learning and growing, I still await with much anticipation and excitement my very first collar...

I do wonder how many people collar on the present intensity versus looking at the future longevity?

Curious as always,
cs

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 32

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 3:51:45 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

Greetings

Master and I have been together for 4 years, married 2 and half of those 4. In my eyes though, the marriage means nothing. It is nothing more than a contract to settle leagalities is something should happen to either of us.

I, personally, am eagerly awaiting the day he officially collars me though. His belief though is that there is no collars for a period of 6 years; all time before that is meant as a learning phase.

I wish you well

melissa

jauntyone,

I am curious why the number of six years if you will be so kind to share,...

I wish you and Your Master, well.

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"

(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 33

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 4:05:04 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

amen to that!! whatever people decide it means to them after that point, is fine by me.

don't dare try claiming 'ownership' of me by being a cheap ass and giving me one of those things, then expecting me to be jumping up and down for joy! there's no value in a collar to me or for me in my relationships...

give me love letters, gold, silver, diamonds, or even a necklace from toys-r-us, but for fucks sake, put your damn collar on your dogs and cats or find yourself some other girl!

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Whatever a collar costs at a pet store is it's worth.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 34

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 4:16:06 PM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

jauntyone,

I am curious why the number of six years if you will be so kind to share,...

I wish you and Your Master, well.

Greetings

if the truth be known, I have never questioned him as to the number. With him out of the country right now, it is not possible for me to ask either. Perhaps when he comes back, if I remember, I will do so.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 35

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 4:27:43 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Angel was collared within 5 months of our relationship, and has been mine since September. For us, its not an engagement as much as a symbol of commitment. He does not wear his collar all the time, the physical collar is just a trinket. Mentally, though, he is owned and collared and thats what means something. Just like someone is no less married if they dont wear a ring, they are no less collared if they dont have a shiny bit of metal around their neck necessarily.
The problem is, a lot of people online toss collars around becasue this isnt real to them. Most of the time the "velcro collars" are handed out from newbie to newbie and usually they are considering themselves collared before they have even met. If that works for some, then thats fine. For me, its like someone complaining about a net.boyfriend dumping them. Some people just rush into things, it has always happened and it always will.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to stella40)

Post #: 36

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 4:31:37 PM

goodpet

Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'll go one step further and say that most female submissives that I've met have no clue what they're looking for. It seems that the only requirements are that he's male, breathing and identifies himself as a Dom.

When I was seeking, I had a list of requirements that represented what I wanted in a partner. If he didn't fit, I didn't meet him. End of story.

In so many cases, I see people that get so caught up in the fact that it's D/s BDSM that they haven't even figured out if they even actually like that person.

This is a reallly good point. If you don't know what you really want in this life then it is easy to get caught up in the excitment and desires and jump..

How many think it out, write it down, work at finding the right fit. How many just wait and hope and jump?

perhaps this would best be another thread.. sorry not meaning to highjack..

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 37

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 4:59:05 PM

MistressSandra2U

Posts: 33
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline

Dear DiurnalVampire,

Your post really got me thinking.

As someone who started learning about domination online I found that BDSM was real in my life and I didn't even know it. I have always been dominant.

Another thing I've always done is correspond with people. Before the internet I had pen pals and I wrote editorials for minor publications. My writing is important to me. I do it for my own personal growth and to share with others.

As a polyamorist I own more than one 24/7 (live-in) slave. I have no less emotional investment in my second submissive than I do with my sub who has served me longer. I have a few who serve me ferociously online as well. We are a team and I am the captain of that team.

My first submissive pet fell under my charms 14 years ago. We met through a friend. My second sub met me on the internet via an online friend. Yes, I collared him a year before we even met. When we finally met there was a period of ajustment. We both however are real and forthcoming people. We were the same in person as we were online and on the phone. It has been special and wonderful to transition in this way with him.

My words are powerful. I work online developing websites and marketing for corporations. The fact that my work is created, propelled and finished online does not diminish it's importance or the level of effort it takes. My work is part of a new branch of our society.

Would you think I was "complaining" if I told you I lost my net.client or net.job? I hope not. If a net.person I talk to disappears or actually says they no longer wish to speak with me, shouldn't I be affected emotionally if I like that person? Am I wrong to worry about the people I care about online? Many people online know my intimate thoughts in ways much deeper than people I see in person daily.

Since I work and go to school online (literally) these net.people truly are my friends, neighbors, classmates and co-workers. Where do you find people to begin love and sexual relationships with? Most people find their mates at work, in their town or at school. My town, school and office all exist online. Does this mean I have rushed into my whole life thoughtlessly? Does it make my accomplishments any less substantial than your own?

The internet is new frontier in communication. A method of touch that is world wide, digitally crisp and colorful, the internet can be uniquely human. The internet is simply beyond any old, familiar judgements that we know. Please don't judge the binding nature of my collar. It is real and if I choose to give it online, that person will consider it a symbol of our solidarity. Just like your collar, that is what means something.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 38

RE: Collaring - Its not a fad - 3/26/2007 5:10:29 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

When someone becomes your boyfriend or girlfriend online becasue you like the title, without ever getting to know them, it is FAR different than when someone is a devoted long term correspondance with someone online. Would you consider someone a close enough friend to emtionally devistate you if youve known them for a week? If youve bounced 3 or 4 emails back and forth?
Trust me, I do not belittle online and distance relationships. Angel and I were distance until 2 months ago. However, building a real online relationship takes far more work than most people put into it. I cant see how someone can be so attached to someone else online after a month of emailing back and forth that they are overcome with grief if that person decides their collaring hasnt worked.
What you ahve to realize is that the majority of people do NOT have the same view as you do about online relationships. They take longer to develop, they dont go faster. They are more reliant on communication that any others, and they are usually far more involved than a face to face one early on. However, they are also much easier to disappear from. Someone who wants to cut out online can just stop writing. You can never know their reasons, and you cant realy argue your place... they just cease to exist. Its for reasons like that that *I* personally have th standpoint I do. You dont have to agree with my opinion.

The net.relationships I refer to are the ones that are one sided (usualy) and barely developed when one person takes them extremely seriously, and one does not. Its from past experience, on both sides of the seriousness.

Glad I made you think, though.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MistressSandra2U)

Post #: 39

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Collaring - Its not a fad

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.110