Aggressive Vs. Passive

Aggressive Vs. Passive (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

CreoleCook -> Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 4:54:54 PM)
Okay ladies, gentlemen, and other forms of life that visit these boards, its time for a hot topic... I'll ask this in two different versions, one for the Tops/Dominant types, and one for the submissive/slave types.... basically the same question, just different word usage. From a Dominant perspective: As a Dominant, do you prefer your partners to be passive in nature or aggressive? I am not asking just in the sense of intimacy, but in all aspects of their lives... If you answer both, please explain... -------------------------------------------------------------------- From a submissive perspective: As one who is submissive in nature, do you find yourself more attracted to Dominant partners who are controlling, and very aggressive in nature, or do you prefer the more passive (aggressive) type which will help you figure out yourself, as well as each other, giving more choices, etc? again, I am not speaking of JUST intimacies, but all aspects of their lives. If you answer "both," please explain...

sillygirl09 -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 5:02:42 PM)
My most successful D/s relationships have been with men who were aggressive and dominant in all aspects of their life. I think it's because I have such a strong personality, someone who is not agressive is not a good match for my strength.

thetammyjo -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 5:13:21 PM)
I dislike aggression in anyone. I do like confidence and assertiveness in the appropriate situations. I only find passitvity attractive when there is an immediate need for it -- otherwise I want my slaves to be self-motivated and active, assertive when it is appropriate. Aggressiveness will be met with a frown and probably no relationship because I consider it potentially damaging to the entire family.

catize -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 5:24:28 PM)
It doesn’t need to be either extreme; there is a nice middle ground of assertiveness that works well for both dominant and submissive.

Aileen68 -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 5:32:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreoleCook From a submissive perspective: As one who is submissive in nature, do you find yourself more attracted to Dominant partners who are controlling, and very aggressive in nature, or do you prefer the more passive (aggressive) type which will help you figure out yourself, as well as each other, giving more choices, etc? again, I am not speaking of JUST intimacies, but all aspects of their lives. If you answer "both," please explain... I definitely prefer aggressive in all aspects. In fact, if I'm given choices I quickly lose interest. I like the cockiness that often goes along with the aggression. It's a big turn on for me. The aggressive types fit more into the "bad boy" image which appeal to me. Aggressive does not equal rudeness or being presumptous though. There has to be a certain level of respect for me.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 5:35:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreoleCook Okay ladies, gentlemen, and other forms of life that visit these boards, its time for a hot topic... I'll ask this in two different versions, one for the Tops/Dominant types, and one for the submissive/slave types.... basically the same question, just different word usage. From a Dominant perspective: As a Dominant, do you prefer your partners to be passive in nature or aggressive? I am not asking just in the sense of intimacy, but in all aspects of their lives... If you answer both, please explain... I like confidence in a submissive. I find it attractive. I dislike cockiness in a submissive and I dislike aggression. I also dislike a passive nature...I find deference and thoughtful obedience much more charming. Thoughtful obedience...submission thought through and given to me because she wants to or submission still given but her disagreement with an aspect of it stated afterwards in a clear and intelligent and respectful manner.

WiseCracknSadist -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 5:42:52 PM)
I prefer a sub who knows how to be aggressive but knows how to maintain her her station in the relationship. There's a way that a submissive can talk to a Dom that is very provocative and yet aggressive. I love a sub who knows how to use her words to please me and get what she wants. Takes a certain amount of intellect, confidence, and understanding to pull it off.

kyraofMists -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 5:45:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreoleCook From a submissive perspective: As one who is submissive in nature, do you find yourself more attracted to Dominant partners who are controlling, and very aggressive in nature, or do you prefer the more passive (aggressive) type which will help you figure out yourself, as well as each other, giving more choices, etc? again, I am not speaking of JUST intimacies, but all aspects of their lives. If you answer "both," please explain... In terms of sex with a man and SM, I love and crave highly aggressive interaction, not just on his part but on mine as well. It all depends on my mood as to whether I want aggressive or passive sexual interactions with a woman. Outside of physical intimacy I prefer a very balanced approach in my intimate relationships. I like a person who knows when to be aggressive and when to be a little more passive. In the relationship that I am in, it is his choice and I accept whichever way he wishes to interact with me. With friendships, I don't really like either end of the spectrum. A friend who is too aggressive or too passive will turn me off and I will not be interested in interacting with them. Someone who is too passive will annoy the hell out of me and I will just avoid them. Someone who is too aggressive will find themselves in a constant battle of wills with me. I do not allow people to control me other than my Lord. Knight's kyra

VeryMercurial -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 6:22:19 PM)
I dislike aggession in a submissive, it is often an area that they must work on. I understand having to be aggressive in the outside world, but I have no need for a very aggressive submissive to serve me.

Wildfleurs -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 6:22:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreoleCook Okay ladies, gentlemen, and other forms of life that visit these boards, its time for a hot topic... I'll ask this in two different versions, one for the Tops/Dominant types, and one for the submissive/slave types.... basically the same question, just different word usage. From a Dominant perspective: As a Dominant, do you prefer your partners to be passive in nature or aggressive? I am not asking just in the sense of intimacy, but in all aspects of their lives... If you answer both, please explain... -------------------------------------------------------------------- From a submissive perspective: As one who is submissive in nature, do you find yourself more attracted to Dominant partners who are controlling, and very aggressive in nature, or do you prefer the more passive (aggressive) type which will help you \ figure out yourself, as well as each other, giving more choices, etc? again, I am not speaking of JUST intimacies, but all aspects of their lives. If you answer "both," please explain... Overall I prefer someone agressive since I tend to be assertive, strongly verging on agressive in terms of my personality. C~

slavegirljoy -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 6:34:22 PM)
i am attracted to and more submissive with a man who takes control of the situation and me, all of the time, not just during sexual activities. i need to be with a man who commands respect by his very nature and demeanor. He doesn't need to be pushy or aggressive. His easy and natural self-confidence is all that's needed for me to feel confident in his ability to control me and use me properly and that's what makes me melt in his hands. On the other hand, as a submissive, i have never been passive, just very compliant. slave joy Owned property of Master David

daddysprop247 -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 6:37:20 PM)
wow...it's interesting reading the replies from the strong and assertive type submissives saying that because of their nature they prefer a very strong Dominant. i'm a very passive type, and have always been attracted to very assertive, even aggressive, controlling, what vanillas would label "abusive" Dominants. i think i'm so attracted to that type because it's the complete opposite of everything i am...they are strong where i am weak. my perfect complement. :)

ownedgirlie -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 6:40:39 PM)
He is commanding and the way he manages me requires that I figure myself out. It's not an either or for me. And while he feels there is time and place for passive submission, there is also time and place for active submission. I would not call that aggressive, though.

MistressSandra2U -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 6:52:28 PM)
When I was very young in school and when I was still new to working I found it insulting when someone would try to top me. When I was 19 I went to work for a media production company. My dominant personality kept me going but sometimes I'd get into arguments or I wouldn't allow myself to see points of view apart from my own. As I gained experience in my life I realized how valuable what others say can be. Not only in making it through life but in knowing people paying attention makes all the difference. Allowing others to voice opinions and how they'd do or accomplish things means being quiet and listening beyond my own thoughts. It means not interrupting and sometimes it means trying not to influence for a while. It was hard to learn that and then apply it. I don't think it makes me less dominant. I'm just careful and I listen and consider what I'm hearing more often than when I was a kid. It's maturity. I partner with who I find stimulating and skilled. I partner with people that can follow my language and diagonal thinking. Both aggressive and submissive types have been able to see eye to eye with me. Balance is beautiful and works wonders.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 6:55:14 PM)
If aggressive means assertive and dominant-personality, then aggressive. Master Fire

subinside -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 7:13:56 PM)
i always thought i needed someone really assertive in His dominance.. and then i met Him, and was happily proven wrong. It's funny, when we first started exploring together, His quiet (passive) demeanor had me questioning whether or not He was Dominant enough for me. LOL, He is.. totally, but not in the way i thought i needed. His demeanor allows me all the rope i need to hang myself, and yet it isn't He who hangs me.. it's myself more than anything. All He need to do is know the right time to point out my actions to me and the self beating begins. He doesn't need to be overly controlling like others felt they had to.. He doesn't need to micro-manage and pick at every little thing, just by being who He is, i am in His control... and being His, has allowed me to be me without worry or fear.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 7:36:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreoleCook From a Dominant perspective: As a Dominant, do you prefer your partners to be passive in nature or aggressive? I am not asking just in the sense of intimacy, but in all aspects of their lives... If you answer both, please explain... Different problems/situation require different tactics. Using one stick to approach every problem won't be an effective way to solve those problems. You should have a whole box of sticks to be at your command. But I generally prefer active since it usually goes along with taking personal accountability. quote: From a submissive perspective: As one who is submissive in nature, do you find yourself more attracted to Dominant partners who are controlling, and very aggressive in nature, or do you prefer the more passive (aggressive) type which will help you figure out yourself, as well as each other, giving more choices, etc? again, I am not speaking of JUST intimacies, but all aspects of their lives. If you answer "both," please explain... See above.

Smileyking1 -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/26/2007 7:38:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo I dislike aggression in anyone. I do like confidence and assertiveness in the appropriate situations. I only find passitvity attractive when there is an immediate need for it -- otherwise I want my slaves to be self-motivated and active, assertive when it is appropriate. Aggressiveness will be met with a frown and probably no relationship because I consider it potentially damaging to the entire family. I agree, true dominance comes from confidence and fortitude, not agression.

blmtrsne -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/28/2007 2:09:43 PM)
I want to be served, not attacked. So, my slave needs to know my habbits to be able to forsee whan I need something. He can never be aggressive (and is not). I can loose my temper, but thats only normal.

jauntyone -> RE: Aggressive Vs. Passive (3/28/2007 2:35:18 PM)
Greetings Master is very aggressive. And generally, I respond better to those who are more aggressive in nature than not. I wish you well melissa

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

3.100586E-02