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Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/26/2007 9:58:21 PM

Passion357

Posts: 481
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Greetings, All,

This question was posed to me a while back and I have *always* wanted to know what others think about it and what they would do or not do.

How would one handle a situation of a slave or submissive repeatedly challenging the authority of his/her Owner in a group setting with other M/s couples around?
I understand that the Owner of said slave is the only one that should correct them, however as an unwilling observer of the action how would one handle the situation?

It's just a general question, no details needed. Like "What is she doing?" Well, it does not matter :-) She is challenging authority in a public M/s setting. That's bad enough.

You are the "unwilling observer". You may be a Master friend of the Master, a slave friend of the slave, or a complete stranger new to the scene.
That is why I think this is perfect for this forum. The responses will be *so* vast, and from every different outlook.

Thank you, Stephann. I should have done this long ago.

Well Wishes,
~Passion~

Post #: 1

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/26/2007 10:07:22 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

It isnt up to anyone els to do anything aspecialy in a M/s setting I would hope no one would but in I would hope people would know better then to do anything to someone els's slave while they where right there, it is up to the Master and that Master only to correct behavior. if he isnt then it is obviouse that the behavior is exeptable and or he will deal with it at a later time when others arent around. It isnt up to others to challange that period.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 2

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/26/2007 10:07:57 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Good evening Passion,

Um... well... uhh...

I dunno?

Seriously, it depends on the nature of the situation. Disobedience isn't really an issue for me. It's not my job to keep other people's property in their place. It's not my job to babysit submissives. However, when I'm in a group of people who are blatently disrespectful, rude, or impolite, I won't think twice about exerting whatever authority I might muster to fix it. As a bouncer I've used every trick; from cajoling, to offering a free beer, to throwing a guy out head first into a garbage can. I'm not interested in 'right' as much as I am in 'peace' in a public setting, because without peace, there can be no right.

There's a good start. Interesting question, though.

Warm wishes,

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 3

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/26/2007 10:14:17 PM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

oh wow Passion,
That is a really good question. If it was my freind, someone that I knew, and it was unusual behavior for her/him. I might be inclined to see if there was something wrong. I know that I wouldnt stick my nose in the behavior department, not in my job description, but as a freind it might be helpful to try and reach out there. That would be about all I would know to do.

lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 4

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/26/2007 10:18:47 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

I would be really uncomfortable and move over to another conversation/area. Any time a submissive disobeys around me or couples fight near me, I get this feeling like, 'Oh no are mommy and daddy going to get a divorce?' It's just uncomfortable to witness and the tension doesn't feel that pleasant either.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 5

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/26/2007 10:25:26 PM

hawkwolf7

Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

I understand the idea of not needing to know the details, and I agree with the following caveat. Are you absolutely sure that the submissive/slave is challenging his/her owner's authority. I ask because there have been many situations where someone could assume my sub was challenging mine when they weren't. In other words, it is the Owner who determines what is and isn't a challenge. And some Masters/Owners want resistance; that is part of their kink.

Having said all of that, my answer is to watch the Owner/Master. He/She may be enjoying the challenge. They may not be. But, in either case, I think it is for the Owner/Master to deal with, or not. How they choose to respond may be the critical factor in the future of the relationship.

The bottom line is that no one can know all the details of the negotiation behind the relationship except the participants. Interfering in any way is just that: interfering. Even when it's clearly messed up. Besides, doing it wrong is an important part of learning how to do it right.

< Message edited by hawkwolf7 -- 3/26/2007 10:28:28 PM >

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 6

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/26/2007 10:43:37 PM

rmanrr

Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

I have bounced a few as well Stephann...heh. As for the situation in question....it is His right to discipline. And his resonsibility. In My own bailiwick, any Free can and will correct behavior unbecoming. Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr

(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 7

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 2:09:16 AM

MasterNdorei

Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

It is a good question Passion. i too know it's origins, but for the sake of this board i will answer as you have directed the question in this forum.

It would be for the One who owns me to determine how He allows others to speak to Him.

Master's dorei

(in reply to rmanrr)

Post #: 8

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 2:21:34 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I wouldnt do anything s/he doesn't belong to me, its up to the Owner to do something. If S/he doesn't do anything then the Owner must enjoy the behavior. The only time I would say something is if s/he was annoying Me and Mine. Then I'd say something to the sub/slave and the Owner.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 9

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 2:37:22 AM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

If the slave in question, where a part of my household, i would speak to the head of the house. Other wise, i wouldn't do anything. Unless she is part of my family, it is up to her house to deal with it.

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 10

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 2:50:54 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I'd excuse myself from the situation and move to another area of the room. If that's not possible, I do everything in my power to not appear as if I'm paying the least bit attention to the elephant in the living room. I won't give the submissive an audience in front of which to perform and I won't further embarrass the dominant by appearing to be the voyeur to his/her difficulties. But mostly, I'm just really really uncomfortable by actions like this and do my best to avoid them.

juliet

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 11

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 3:01:23 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

This happened to Me with a new subbie at a party....problem was she had just discovered a tramatic memory earlier when We played before hand in private at Our room.

Then she decided to drink at the party creating scenes and being defiant to Me.

Knowing what she was through earlier and this must be her way of processing it I did not enforce anything but pretty much did damage control.

This was her first group party so she decided she wanted to be the center of attention for everything which I was beside her for.

Admittedly I was getting looks from some doms and subs like you are letting her get away with that? but I did not feel the need to let anyone know except the gracious hostess.

I knew what was going on it it was simply a matter of damage control.

Spent the night with her making sure she was ok and that she did not offer herself up as fresh meat to all the wannas parannas and left in the morning.

Never saw her again as she had much too much baggage and had a hard time distinguishing the truth from her embellishments and fabrications to cover her activities while out of sight.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 12

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 3:32:56 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

I'd stay the hell out of it... just like I would if I saw witnessed a vanilla couple fighting.

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 13

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 3:49:48 AM

mystiquenz

Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline

I agree with most of the other posters, on this topic passion.

For myself, I do not particularly care for situations that are not pleasant, so as quickly as i found the front door, i would find the exit.

If it was at a munch or a play party, I would expect the organisers to speak to the person concerned and/or their Master and have the matter resolved quietly and swiftly. Why should a group of people suffer when two people are having difficulty? That's not fair play, and in my opinion, it is just bad manners.

Agreed, we don't know the background, you don't know what has been negotiated between the Dominant and the submissive, but being aware of the feelings of others around you, being polite and well mannered doesn't cost a cent.

If I felt that uncomfortable and if i was on my own, i would leave. The choice is mine, and that is how I would exercise it. Simple really.

_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 14

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 4:01:34 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

For the most part, the only option I would have is to remove myself from interacting with them. If it was someone that I was required to interact with by my Lord, then I would discuss it with him and he can decide what I would do. As long as their behavior did not personally violate my boundaries then I would say nothing to them at the time.

If the slave was a close personal friend, I might talk to them later to see if something is wrong or if my perception of the events was even accurate. Just because the behavior is unacceptable to me or my Lord does not make it unacceptable to others.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 15

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 4:02:15 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

It would depend on how much of a *scene* they were causing. It's not pleasant being around a vanilla
couple who snipe and bitch at each other, either, but I wouldn't see it as any of my business, whoever it was.

If I was a friend, and they were acting out of character, I might ask, *Are you ok? You don't seem yourself tonight*. But in a general sense, people rarely thank you for involving yourself in their problems.

agirl

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 16

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 4:39:27 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

My 'quick and dirty' answer, as I'm running out of time this morning, is fairly simple.

I understand something 'unpleasant' is going on in front of me. I don't exactly walk away, I don't really acknowledge it either. I keep whatever feelings I have (if any) to myself, and once it's over I don't say anything about it to the parties involved. It's not my place.

I handle vanilla unpleasantries the same way. I file the information about the parties in the back of my mind, for future reference if necessary.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 17

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 4:42:01 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

How would one handle a situation of a slave or submissive repeatedly challenging the authority of his/her Owner in a group setting with other M/s couples around?
I understand that the Owner of said slave is the only one that should correct them, however as an unwilling observer of the action how would one handle the situation?

Greetings

quite frankly, I would not 'handle' the situation at all. It is not my place, as a slave, to speak up or correct the behavior of others.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 18

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 5:18:10 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

I agree with most of the other posters. Its not my place to chastise someone elses sub/slave/whatevr we all like to call it. If I was at a party and someone was being really naughty but not directly at me I would just ignor any behaviour. If they were being naughty to me then I would talk to their dom/domme/again whatever you like to call it and tell them im not at all happy with the behavur but leave it for them to sort out.

I went to a friends house once and her boyfriend had been really rude to her the night before and she was so upset. When she told me what he had done she said you know what he needs spanking!!! Bearing in mind they are a vanilla couple I know so it was quite amusing to see. She asked me if I would like to spank him too with a hairbrush. I politely declined which she found quite strange knowing I am a mistress but as I pointed out to her he didnt piss me off so I'm not bothered!!!
This topic just reminded me of that

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 19

RE: Unwilling Witness (For Stephann) - 3/27/2007 5:21:37 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Passion357

Greetings, All,

This question was posed to me a while back and I have *always* wanted to know what others think about it and what they would do or not do.

How would one handle a situation of a slave or submissive repeatedly challenging the authority of his/her Owner in a group setting with other M/s couples around?
I understand that the Owner of said slave is the only one that should correct them, however as an unwilling observer of the action how would one handle the situation?

It's just a general question, no details needed. Like "What is she doing?" Well, it does not matter :-) She is challenging authority in a public M/s setting. That's bad enough.

You are the "unwilling observer". You may be a Master friend of the Master, a slave friend of the slave, or a complete stranger new to the scene.
That is why I think this is perfect for this forum. The responses will be *so* vast, and from every different outlook.

Thank you, Stephann. I should have done this long ago.

Well Wishes,
~Passion~

At the moment? Nothing but extricate myself from that conversation or if we were all sitting at the table together (like if we were all eating a meal together) I'd try to move the conversation at the table to something different.

Later on I'd be talking about it with my owner, and not in a positive way.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 20

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