Protectors

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cariad -> Protectors (3/27/2007 12:33:43 AM)
Greetings Mistresses: This is a question that i have been stewing over for a while now and brought up on the Gorean boards but needed to hear from a Mistresses viewpoint. This goes to both online and r/l relationships and the reason i am asking it now is because of something that happened tonight in a chat room. i have had the slaves reply to my query on the Gorean boards and am hoping to hear from the Mistresses what their feelings are on this thread. If you know that a slave girl has a "Protector," would you chastize her for it, saying that you do not recognize "phantom" or "velcro collars?" or Would you, ask to know said "Protectors" name and how you may contact them, so that you may speak to them about the slave girl in question? Meaning that if said girl offered to serve You, would You ask who the "Protector" is so that you may speak said "Protector" about how pleasing said slave was? Do you believe a slave should have a "Protector" or no? If so, why should they have said "Protector?" If not, why should they not have said "Protector?" i mean no disrespect and hope the Mistresses find this pleasing. i look forward to reading the varying replies to my query. Thank You in advance for your help and time. Blessed Be cariad

canupleaseme -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 1:11:56 AM)
Hi Im not sure what you mean by protector is this similar to having a mentor? If so then persoanlly, I dont think someone having a protector is a bad thing. If I was to ask the girl to serve me or she offered her sevices then I would expect to know who her protector was so I could talk to them yes. That person will proably know lots of things I would need to know. If the relationship was to develope furthur then I would question wether she needed to continue having a protector as that would then be my job. I dont really know anything about gorean ways I keep meaning to read up about it. But i know that when I have played with someone who has experiences with others I have always enquired about those experiences and where possible have spoken to thier former mistress/master/protector. Im really not sure if that has helped you in anyway lol Im not sure what happened in your chat room but I hope it soon gets resolved[:D]

Lashra -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 2:09:52 AM)
If s/he tells me that s/he is wearing a collar to me that means s/he belongs to someone else and I will not pursue a relationship. I really do not understand the "protection" thing. I mean I can understand if s/he is at a munch and s/he asks some woman/guy to help keep the other women/men off of her/him. But otherwise why can't s/he take care of her/his ownself? If s/he can't take care of her/his self then I definitely would not be interested in her/him. To my way of thinking its best for a sub/slave to be their own person and to look after themselves rather than expect someone else to do it. To me that shows strength and some independence which I do find appealing. Now I am not gorean and I am only vaguely familiar with some of their protocols so perhaps if that is the situation then a slave maybe required to have a protector. Don't know if this helps answer your question or not. ~Lashra

onestandingstill -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 5:06:46 AM)
I've often seen good friend Dom's that don't play with a sub step in as a protector. This usually means he's sort of in the Father or Big Brother role when it comes to a sub's dating life & her seeking a mate. Often it's a genuine friendship that does include his knowledge and training in the relationship till she finds her mate. I think some girls are indeed better off with a Mentor as the doormat types need someone else to empower them to say no to situations that will not benefit them. I personally trust my own judgment more than another and can train independently of someone schooling me in the traits of a good sub. I also think the new, shy or inexperienced sub can benefit from this type of mentoring. I think there is many an honorable Dom who does this trying to do the right thing and benefit subs they can't own directly for what ever reason. I think if I was a Dom and a sub had a protector I'd enjoy being able to talk man to man with a man that knows this sub I'm interested in well. Hell if I had another sub who knew a Dom well and could recommend them, wished to help them find their mate, and kept their skills fresh for me till I got there how could that be a bad thing? I do think many a Dom bends the honorable rules of protection & many a sub perverts this privilege from a Dom, but if done with proper respect it can indeed be an asset for all involved. suzanne

thetammyjo -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 6:21:08 AM)
Personally I don't get the entire "protector" or "guardian" thing that some people use. I mean, we are adult, if you can't protect or guard yourself, why are in this? I think we can have three types of relationships between tops and bottoms (or the variations of those categories): the people you learn from, the people you play with, and the people you have ongoing intimate/personal relationships with. I just don't know where those "protectors" or "guardians" fit in to those categories I have in my mind. I'd also say that if someone isn't owned and isn't married, then they are pretty much single and can flirt with or play with whomever they wish. Using another person to vet your potential play partners would signal to me that the person isn't mature enough to make up their own minds and weight consequences. That's how it would feel to me, I'm not saying that is a fact. Someone not mature enough to sort through offers or play requests themselves when they are single is not mature enough to be with me or mine.

MiladyAngelique -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 7:49:43 AM)
I know of a sub male ... very sweet but very very new to the scene (he is 18) but he was in a room and he was talking about an email he got from a "domme" which concerned the Ladies of the chat so much that they offered to be his protector simply because he is soooooo young and fresh and they don't want to see something bad happen to him before he gets the chance to feel the joy

TheShadows -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 8:39:47 AM)
While I'm not Gorean, and have little knowledge of the practices, I'll attempt to answer your questions. If you know that a slave girl has a "Protector," would you chastize her for it, saying that you do not recognize "phantom" or "velcro collars?" Generally, if someone states that they're collared or owned, I don't bother persuing them. It usually proves to be a waste of everyone's time. If I had a problem or query about the slave in question, I'd first speak with said slave, then if things weren't answered or resolved to my satisfaction, I'd take things up with whoever has some claim to the slave. Do you believe a slave should have a "Protector" or no? Personally, I'm with Lashra on this one. If a slave isn't responsible enough to handle themselves and their search for Master Right on their own, how could I expect them to be responsible enough to handle the menial duties that I set out for them? As always, YMMV... ~MrsShadows~

cariad -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 9:55:44 AM)
Greetings Mistresses: perhaps my words were a bit confusing and for that i do apologize. i will attempt to clear up something that has come up in a few responses to my query. i am not collared by Him, but He does help answer questions i have about Gor. tammyjo: you asked " I mean, we are adult, if you can't protect or guard yourself, why are in this?" it is not that i can not protect or guard myself, it is that He has seen me pick the wrong types of Masters in the past getting hurt very badly, and He does not wish this to happen again. Mistress Canupleaseme: in my case He is both, in that He is watching to make sure i don't get in over my head and that i do not pick the abusive type of Master as i have in the past. He is also helping teach me about Gor and answering my questions that i have. i Thank You all for the responses. i do not mean to offend and hope the Mistresses find this pleasing. Blessed Be cariad

mantis65 -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 10:30:41 AM)
How can you protect someone from themselves? The wrong type maybe the type they really want to pursue. I think a real dangerous predator type would hide behind a façade you wouldn’t know he’s the wrong guy till after the fact.

Lashra -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 11:52:10 AM)
I don't want to come off as sounding mean or anything but, I think in the long run it would benefit you more for you to find out why you seem drawn to abusive men. Or at least what warning signs to look for so that you yourself will be aware. Depending upon someone elses judgement is not always a good thing, to have their input can be helpful but he cannot always be around. Good luck and take care, ~Lashra

cariad -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 1:25:51 PM)
Greetings Mistresses: i wish to Thank You all for Your responses. i will now leave this to thread to fade into the darkness hopefully. Blessed Be cariad

mantis65 -> RE: Protectors (3/27/2007 2:05:16 PM)
When I was younger and someone said “that girl is no good or she would ruin my life” I wanted to know why and how...those girls I refer to as an ex now. But I know I like what’s bad for me and some things like drug habits and gangs are hard limits. I know I will fixate on bad girls even now I just have to make sure she’s not too bad. Now I go for bad bad within reason. Something’s you need to find out for yourself.

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