RE: Fetish...is it just for men?

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RE: Fetish...is it just for men? - 3/28/2007 2:42:04 AM

darkinshadows

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32

Hey I appreciate all the responses, keep them coming everyone. Aliya pretty much hit it on the head for me about the involvement of it with sex. But, just so I am making myself clear, let me ask the women who say they do have fetishes, do you get aroused by such things in a non sexual setting? Sort of like in the setting petdave mentioned. Myself, if I am in the mall and see a hot leather whatever outfit for a woman in a store on a hanger, I literally start to salivate more and feel myself getting turned on....LMAO. Same thing if I see boots etc. These items do not have to be on a woman for it to have an effect on me.

I think what I am seeing here is a misconception on what a fetish is. We aren't talking "oh, look at that pair of shoes, I MUST have them"... a fetishists response would be - "OH FUCK, those shoes... they are amazing... god they smell soooooooooo fucking good... and feel amazing in my fingers... and wearing them...oh god... yes... fuck...I am cumming...." or "... if I don;t go out and buy a pair of new black panties, and then cum, I am simply going to die or explode..."

Having a desire and an intense like for an activity or object isn't technically a fetish, but having an uncontrolable urge and fixation on a certain 'thing' is. I certainly cannot resist passing a church, mosque or anything like that without almost passing out and make a bee-line for anything carved to touch it, it happens like instinct. And yes, I will orgasm spontaneously. I personally think, if you can control it and your response, then it isn't really a fetish, but an intense desire and women do have a natural ability to control themselves than men, which is why shrinks tend to suggest it is more of a male thang.

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RE: Fetish...is it just for men? - 3/28/2007 8:03:50 PM

MzMia

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Dang it you are probably right again, dark.
But I want to have some fetishes!

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RE: Fetish...is it just for men? - 3/29/2007 3:27:44 AM

Aliya

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32

Hey I appreciate all the responses, keep them coming everyone. Aliya pretty much hit it on the head for me about the involvement of it with sex. But, just so I am making myself clear, let me ask the women who say they do have fetishes, do you get aroused by such things in a non sexual setting? Sort of like in the setting petdave mentioned. Myself, if I am in the mall and see a hot leather whatever outfit for a woman in a store on a hanger, I literally start to salivate more and feel myself getting turned on....LMAO. Same thing if I see boots etc. These items do not have to be on a woman for it to have an effect on me.

Well fetish is great for BDSM pursuits too as I like to 'dress for pleasure' for play or sex. Sometimes I'll slip into a pair of PVC pants and a satin top and just sit around the house reading. It's just sensual and nice. It puts me in a comfort zone.

Still yeah I get aroused when I see the thing I have an association to pleasure with. And lots of ideas of what I could use that item of clothing for, or a certian thing-a-ma-jig that would add something to play or sexual experience. Even something like a piece of jewelry can get me excited because I can envision how that would change my appearence and therefore my partners response to me. Or just make me feel more in my role so therefore I feel I've stripped away the day to day look of normalacy and another aspect of my personality surfaces.

For me my primary fetish is material fetish. So Rubber, PVC, spandex, satin, etc... At the same time I'd say shoes and boots.

I seriously tried to start calling myself a sensualist though since it's more about the look'n'feel than it is neccessarily about sex, but seeing as it's needed quite often for me to feel satisfied that makes it a fetish. Even something like having satin sheets on the bed and getting naked on them can be a joy.

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RE: Fetish...is it just for men? - 3/29/2007 6:51:57 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
He said that studies show that women can have fetishes but they tend to develop much later than men and they also tend to heavily discouraged by society. The result is fewer women with fetishes and less likelihood to discuss them publicly.

So was the implication that men are more resistant to social stigma, that we don't receive as much because we're expected to be perverts, or that our fetishism is somehow more hard-wired? Because i've sure as hell been discouraged by society, but it certainly doesn't seem to have helped!

...dave

This pyschologist had two explanations.

One was how males and females are raised. Even now I can say that I see very strong double messages being delivered to boys and girls -- boys are supposed to want sex and girls aren't or are supposed to be very selective. I find both ideas offensive.

The other reason he gave was physical. The penis is more easily stimulated than the clit and vulva. It also is more easily seen by the boy and both others as being aroused thus the connections between objects, sensations and sexual organs is is easier to make.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 3/29/2007 6:52:55 AM >

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