Manipi2u
Posts: 9
Joined: 4/7/2005
Status: offline
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“What do you paint?” A benign question asked of an anonymous artist. A question asked out of loneliness. Searching for a reprieve from the quagmire that had become my life. Little did I know how much one question could change your life forever, not only my life but also the life of others I had yet to meet? Her response, “A little of this, a little of that, no particular genre.” Do all life changes begin so insignificantly?
That little exchange took place over seven years ago, yet I remember it as if it were yesterday, between a business owner on the west coast and an artist from the east. A simple instant message sent to a person in a chat room that I had never visited before. I was new to the internet thing. Although I had used it for research I had no idea so many used it as a tool to meet or play together.
We exchanged e-mails back and forth for a couple of weeks. Doing the same thing millions of others have done or will do, learning what each of us liked and disliked. Exploring the issues of how we had ended up sharing our lives. At first it had nothing to do with us as a couple, it sure wasn’t anything sexual. Yet it was primal and deep. We opened up to each other more than I had ever given another. She brought out my passion for writing that I had lost because of work and marriage. She awoke sleeping dragons, you might say.
I don’t know when it turned from innocent talks into more, but it did. We would talk either on the phone or online and she directed me to sites that we would explore together. At first very tame, some would say vanilla, but soon we were visiting every fetish imaginable. We would talk about what turned each of us on and why.
I know now, that although both of us were experiencing something new, my learning curve was far greater. She must have seen something in me right from the start, something I myself did not. I was not the best student at first but she was a great teacher, patient and creative. I realize now that she was testing me.
We had talked for six months before I understood how deeply I had fallen for her. How I rushed home to read her emails. How I couldn’t wait to hear her voice. She made me feel more important to her then anything or anyone else. I was growing as well, becoming the new me.
Her favorite animal was the wolf and she used this grand creature and it’s way of life to open my eyes to a new life. How in the pack everyone had their place and that the alpha male ruled with an iron bite. That he was compassionate and caring of those in his pack, he was their friend, lover, and father but he was also their supreme ruler. His way was to be followed or else, end of discussion.
She had talked in the past about fantasies that involved being tied up or spanked. She had shown an interest in sites that that talked of Dominance and submission. She had never said she was submissive. But when she said she was looking for her alpha male, everything clicked. I realized what she wanted but more importantly I found what I wanted. For the first time in my life I felt like I was getting to know myself. Not only what I wanted but that which would make me happy. It was my epiphany, my awakening.
We also shared a mutual respect for all things Native American. Especially the belief that all life deserves equal respect, that everything is sacred and to be appreciated. This was not a new found belief on either of our parts. Because she said I constantly amazed her I became Manipi, a Cherokee name that meant “Amazing”.
The name I gave her was Mia, short for Miacoda meaning “power of the moon”. I gave her this name out of respect. If you think about it the sun has the power right? The sun gives off all light and heat. The moon just reflects that power, yet I disagree. The sun is the dominant force, no doubt. But which one inspires more, which is more beautiful? The moon! Isn’t that the way it really is in D/s. The ultimate power is held by the submissive for it is her that decides if and when to surrender. She is the one that reflects back what the Dominate exudes. Just like the moon for the sun.
I spent countless hours learning about D/s. I read everything I could get my hands on, written by those on both sides of the fence. Trying to figure out the why behind both the Dominant and the submissive personality. What are the reasons we choose to live in this lifestyle? What motivations are behind our actions?
Unfortunately Mia and I didn’t agree on all things. She felt it was the Dominants job to dominate, I felt instead it was to be dominant. Let me explain, her idea of a Master was someone who drags his slave around at will, forcing that person to do and behave according to his desires. My belief on the subject although similar, is also completely different, sounds like an oxymoron, right? I believe that a submissive does and behaves the way the Dominant wants out of love and respect. Even if it means pushing some limits that that he/she would normally not push. Not being forced to comply, doing it of their own free will, because of all that the Master has to offer in way of love, respect, imagination, intelligence, experience and the like.
I think there are many interpretations as to D/s. What it means to each person that practices it is different. But make sure when looking for a partner that both of your ideas mirror each other or come as close as possible. Too many get into D/s because of the sex and believe that is the main component. Just because you like to be tied up doesn’t mean that you are submissive and just because you like to spank someone doesn’t mean you are Dominant, just means you like kinky sex. Which is totally okay but understand the difference. Sex is a very small part of a true D/s relationship.
Also one of my pet peeves is the online D/s relationship. Where did this come from? You don’t have to live with someone 24/7 to live in the true D/s lifestyle, but online? Please people you can’t submit to someone over a computer. You can’t, as a Dominant, give what is needed to a submissive through a monitor. You can meet, absolutely, communities like Collarme.com are great tools for information and meeting like minded adults, but be very careful about how you meet others in person. And if someone asks you to submit to them on the computer they aren’t Dominant, you aren’t under their protection. It’s not real!
**Submissives** I reiterate be very careful who you meet, I have known a number of submissives that have ended up hurt and a couple that had to go to the hospital because they didn’t use common sense. A true Dominant will not want you to come to them until a trust is established. They also will not have you come to their “dungeon” on a first meet. Nor will they insist on knowing where you live at the start of a relationship. “Be Careful.”
Just a few ramblings of mine on how I came into the lifestyle and what I believe it to be. Let me know if you agree or disagree.
Manipi
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my awakening... and some other ramblings - 
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