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So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for your ... - 3/28/2007 12:50:56 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for your rather vanillia lifestyle and mindset?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©
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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/28/2007 6:19:47 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		question - are you purposely data mining for a specific reason or for opinions only?

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/28/2007 7:20:38 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most people require a stable vanilla relationship, including love, as the foundation and ADD the Ds/bdsm onto that.  However, you can build both simultaneously even having one the foundation over the other.

Some people require a stable Ms or Ds relationship as the foundation, and add the vanilla components onto that.

For me it depends on the specific relationship which it is.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/28/2007 7:31:56 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
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Status: offline 		I prefer shorter thread titles.

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/28/2007 8:47:20 AM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for your rather vanillia lifestyle and mindset?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

Greetings
 
what a funny question. Master and I don't practice the play aspects very much at all, in fact, in the 4 years that we have been together, he has pulled out his flogger only twice. ( and if the truth be known, that was 2 times too many for me )
 
We do however, always have the dynamic between us. That never changes; it's there 24/7/365
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/28/2007 7:11:05 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Unless your job includes running a dungeon, most of your life is vanilla. Grocery stores still need to be visited, laundry and dishes still need to be done. Sports events need to be watched by dutiful parents who chauffeur them to and fro.

But if you are a banker, a pastry chef, a dental hygienist or anything else then the majority of your hours is vanilla. And so is going to the dentist, buying a cake, getting a loan etc.

So what does the op do, and how does he manage to have that not be vanilla?

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/28/2007 9:28:39 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		ross,

d/s is an innate part of our relationship. it's there whether i'm at the grocery store or welted up from being switched (or even better yet, going to the grocery store with welts from being switched). i cannot personally imagine our relationship without the d/s being there, and due to our own particular sexual preferences, s&m in that department. if you consider that kinky foreplay for school, work, laundry, etc. then that's what you call kinky foreplay. i personally don't, as i don't drop the submission on my way out the door to the laundromat.

annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 2:43:32 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

question - are you purposely data mining for a specific reason or for opinions only?


I am wondering about opinion.....

No I am not strip mining....

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 2:45:11 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyoneGreetings
 
what a funny question. Master and I don't practice the play aspects very much at all, in fact, in the 4 years that we have been together, he has pulled out his flogger only twice. ( and if the truth be known, that was 2 times too many for me )
 
We do however, always have the dynamic between us. That never changes; it's there 24/7/365
 
I wish you well
 
melissa


So am I understanding that your relationship transcends the physical aspect and it functions soley on the mindset?

Wow.

No physical or just no floggers?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to jauntyone)
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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 2:50:16 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Unless your job includes running a dungeon, most of your life is vanilla. Grocery stores still need to be visited, laundry and dishes still need to be done. Sports events need to be watched by dutiful parents who chauffeur them to and fro.

But if you are a banker, a pastry chef, a dental hygienist or anything else then the majority of your hours is vanilla. And so is going to the dentist, buying a cake, getting a loan etc.

So what does the op do, and how does he manage to have that not be vanilla?


Granted there is a balance of day to day things and responsibilites that need to be taken care of but My question was more geared toward the aspect of relationship / sex within or without BDSM.

For some woem I have encountered they use collarme as a kinky dating service...they figure the lure of kink within their offered sex or spankings might attract a man/woman sooner than if they went through the gambit of more mainstream sites such as yahoo or such.

As for My pastime / forete', job...designer/artist/manager/pisseroffer/champion of the underdog

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 2:53:24 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

ross,

d/s is an innate part of our relationship. it's there whether i'm at the grocery store or welted up from being switched (or even better yet, going to the grocery store with welts from being switched). i cannot personally imagine our relationship without the d/s being there, and due to our own particular sexual preferences, s&m in that department. if you consider that kinky foreplay for school, work, laundry, etc. then that's what you call kinky foreplay. i personally don't, as i don't drop the submission on my way out the door to the laundromat.


Everyone is dominant and submissive at different portions of the day & life.

The old argument of not making a decision is still a decision can be at hand here.

Ever sit and watch people and go she is a sub, he is a sub, he is dom, sub, dom...ect..?

My point was the enticement of kink for vanillia.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 3:01:46 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for your rather vanillia lifestyle and mindset?



No

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 6:16:05 AM   
viperess


Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings SirDiscipliner69,

For the most part i leave the vanillia mindset and lifestyle to the vanillias. It does not matter if it be at home, work, the store or where i might be my mindset is that of a slave to my Master.
My job outside the house is that of a chef and my co-workers know that i am a slave to my Master and that i live in a poly home. As a matter of fact when we have big parties going on my boss always makes me be the one to go out and work the carving station. i finally asked him one day why that was and he said it is because i know how to be respectful to the members, i do not bering undo attention to myself but stand quietly when no one is coming through the line, and that i am good at overseeing what is going on and letting someone know when things must be restocked. There have been a couple of people who when i speak to them i know they are Masters and they in turn know i am a slave as they have mentioned it.
While i may not be in Masters presence every minute of the day i know He is there and when inter acting with others i think before speaking and acting as i wish to do nothing that He would find displeasure with. This does not mean i do not joke around at work and such as in a kitchen things get nuts and we have fun at work, nor does it mean i have no thought for myself it does mean in my thought process He is there. So for me i can go into the vanillia world while not taking the vanillia mindset into me.
Respectfully, 

_____________________________

viperess slave of BlackTarnHeart
heart and chain sister to velvetvixen68

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 8:07:41 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
Everyone is dominant and submissive at different portions of the day & life.

The old argument of not making a decision is still a decision can be at hand here.


yes, but not everyone is submissive to the same person every hour of every day of their life. and i make plenty of decisions, thanks; decision-making and dominance really don't correlate.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 11:30:20 AM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not sure it's so much a mindset, but who I am. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm following a list of duties every waking hour, but I am always owned. This is WHO we are and not what we do. I hope that makes sense.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 11:53:01 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for your rather vanillia lifestyle and mindset?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


The mindset and life inside the home are all D/s, the life outside the home appears vanilla to the rest of the world.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 3/31/2007 3:55:52 PM   
MistressMelissa


Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for your rather vanillia lifestyle and mindset?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


Ds is how I live. BDSM is what I do.

_____________________________

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

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RE: So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for y... - 4/1/2007 7:23:42 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for your rather vanillia lifestyle and mindset?



No. Thank you for asking.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: just a form of kinky foreplay? - 4/1/2007 10:17:10 PM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

So is bdsm, D/s just a form of kinky foreplay for your rather vanillia lifestyle and mindset?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


I wonder this about myself every once in a while because I'm not what I would consider that much of a masochist, and the idea of being a slave still gives me the heebie jeebies (it's a personal issue, what can I say?). Then I remember things about myself:
  • trying to get a vanilla partner to be a bit more forceful with me
  • trying to convert an LTLDR into a kinky relationship, at least during visits
  • how much I adore thud play (ooh, boffers!), thunder, trains, techno concerts, etc.
  • that my Daddy and I fell into a D/S relationship shortly after meeting, before we ever discussed Daddy/Girl play
  • that I've noticed that I have the closest connection to what some of my peers would call "goddess energy" when I'm offering my flesh and blood to Daddy
I think I'd have a lot of trouble adding just a dash of kink to a fundamentally vanilla relationship.

There are several vanilla aspects to our relationship. We have jobs, biological families, medical professionals, etc to deal with. But I have no questions about us being in a D/S relationship.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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