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CreativeDominant -> RE: Actions and Reactions (3/28/2007 11:32:41 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mistoferin
If you believe that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, do you consciously give consideration to what the possible reactions to your actions might be in a relationship...or do you just live your life as you wish and let the chips fall where they may?
I'm curious to see if there is a notable difference in the answers of submissive types vs. Dominant types.
I believe that every action has a reaction, though not always equal nor even directly opposite. For example, if I hug you...I don't expect you to haul off and hit me. But you might, depending on your inner mental reaction to my action.
This is one reason why I've stated before that believing that your actions have no effect...the example most frequently cited is emotions...is self-deceptive. If I have a partner that I have promised monogamy too and then she comes home and finds me simultaneously fucking and spanking the maid, she is going to be angry. A justifiable reaction to MY action. Shall I be like those who state that they are not responsible for emotions in others? Sorry...I can't for I would have had to be a fool to not know that she would react in some manner and that the most likely reaction would be of anger or hurt or both. Now...the level that the anger raises to; either calm and cool..."I am leaving and I will be sending for my things. Please do not attempt to contact me"...ranging all the way up to way-over-the-top behavior such as yelling and punching me and the girl and, taken further, attempting to shoot me and/or the girl...that part, she is indeed responsible for.
That's a romantic example. Try walking into work and spending all day screwing off, not doing the work that your boss has asked you to do, not answering client's calls, etc. and see whether or not your actions are going to have an effect on your boss's emotions and his mental state. When he fires you, are you going to say that you had no idea that he would get angry and that, somehow he is at fault for he could have chosen any other emotion...happiness, giddiness, acceptance...besides anger? Come on.
Another example is physical actions. If I hit my submissive in a way that has been discussed and agreed to by both of us and even if it is something that is pushing a limit, if it is NOT done in an abusive manner, then most likely her reaction is not going to be to turn you into the police ( I say most likely...having been on the receiving end of the threat to do so when it was consentual, I cannot say ALWAYS likely). But...any of the women that have submitted to me, whether casually or long-term, made it clear right from the start what they would consider to be abusive physical actions and what the consequences of my deciding to take such actions would be.
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