|
Mustardseed -> RE: Getting to know someone... (3/29/2007 7:46:14 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: AdoraLooking
Susan, he is local and doesn't live to far away for us to meet and visit and I told him in talking to him more tonight that I was interested and that I wanted to meet to get to know him more to see if it went anywhere. He didn't want to listen and didn't want to compromise, so we agreed to just be friends, because it just doesn't seem like we are compatible.
That's just messed up.
I tend to detest talking on the phone with people socially unless I've already met them and unless we already have trouble ending our face-to-face conversations. The potential for dead-air wigs me out. My Daddy doesn't like the idea of giving out ones phone number to a stranger for privacy issues, and between that and my own concerns ("Um, we've barely exchanged two pieces of email -- why do they want my phone number now?) has ordered me not to do so. That's that.
However, I do have a habit of meeting people during breaks in my and my Daddy's volunteer shift on the weekends, usually during our lunch break. Want to find out if I'm what I say I am? Great! Come out to lunch with my Daddy and me. I've actually met about three people off of CM this way, which has been pretty cool. I've only played with one of them, but hey -- at least we were both willing to come out from behind the dots.
Compromise is important from both ends. I get this, possibly in small part because I'm a switch. I'm willing to confirm that I'm the person behind my profile photos, and that ... yeah, I write pretty much the way I talk. An astounding number of people are not willing to compromise: it's their time, it's their fantasy, and I'm just holding things up for them. I find that these people can be done without.
I've dealt with, either directly or by sidestepping, several determined attempts to get me into relationships I either wasn't ready for or flat out didn't want. It's amazing how many people are willing to ignore things like compatibility, communication, the other person's desires, etc. just to have things fall in place for them. (By the same token, I get a little concerned when a potential stunt bottom tells me that I can do anything I want to them, and they don't want or need anything for themselves. um ... really, now?) Feeling as though I'm pushed into a full blown relationship with someone whether or not I've confirmed that any clicking or connection I may feel has a foundation I'm comfortable with -- that's a big red flag for me.
I'm glad that you were at least willing to meet him in real life this early, and thus at least willing to meet him halfway courtship-wise. That can be a nervewracking step, even if it's just for coffee or lunch. Good for you!
|
|
|
|
