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RE: accepting love - 3/31/2007 9:56:17 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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a couple random thoughts....

It is so much easier to love another than to accept the love from another. We know what is in our hearts and minds... but we only think we know what is in theirs. The difference is subtle but significant.

It's easier to pull an elephant through the eye of a needle than it is to accept the love of another when we don't love ourself. When we fail to love ourselves... it begs to question the motivates of another that express love towards us.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to tangria)

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Post #: 21

RE: accepting love - 3/31/2007 1:24:34 PM

sumlihana

Posts: 37
Joined: 12/22/2006
From: Ohio
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those words ring so true. where i can give love when i feel it to believe another loves me i always find hard to accept. I am getting better at it little by little. everything takes time, i finially found the blessing in knowing so many loved me.

great post and thank you

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Post #: 22

RE: accepting love - 3/31/2007 2:06:02 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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People can *tell* you anything. I'm certain that some people *love* me because they do things that make it pretty obvious, I don't have to guess or accept or *try* to believe or have the *word* spoken.

How would you feel if that person never mentioned *love*, would you feel loved?

Do you have to *tell* them that you love them* warts and all* for them to believe it?

Or does it just show?

agirl

(in reply to tangria)

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Post #: 23

RE: accepting love - 3/31/2007 4:32:25 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

People can *tell* you anything. I'm certain that some people *love* me because they do things that make it pretty obvious, I don't have to guess or accept or *try* to believe or have the *word* spoken.

How would you feel if that person never mentioned *love*, would you feel loved?

Do you have to *tell* them that you love them* warts and all* for them to believe it?

Or does it just show?

agirl

This is may change in my lifetime, but love is not a strong subject for me as I have previously written. (not because of self-worth) I do like who I am, and I feel worthy of someone's attention and likewise, I can give back ten-fold as well.

But... I rarely say, I love someone.

For me, I still believe it's a bond between people created by sharing experiences that is most important. Then, the strength of that bond is shown by actions.

There is no way, I'm saying my viewpoint is correct and I still seek answers in this department.

Love potion #9, and a magic 8-ball, maybe there i will find the answers
curious

*edited to add: I hope that I can look back at this thread in years to come on my journey and see that my logic took a backseat to my emotions...

< Message edited by curiouslyseeking -- 3/31/2007 4:39:02 PM >

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Post #: 24

RE: accepting love - 4/14/2007 10:16:58 AM

yourgrrl

Posts: 22
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I'd like a chance to reply to this thread with my thoughts and opinions of what happened. You see after confronted with my mistake I worked immediately to turn it around and was not only NOT encouraged by my actions but was always reminded of my shortcomings and lack of self esteem with previous actions. I worked extremely hard at this and showed in my actions where I was going. Well, the communication stopped and I was unsure where I stood in this time, She backed away and became emotionally withdrawn and did not express what was happening. It was not 8 months , it was 18 months of committment from me, dating back to Sept of 2005. So when blindsided by this talk of my lack of committment (which came totally out of the blue) as I knew I was acting and showing my committment to us.When announcing she was moving out I was told that the relationship wasn't ending , but yet we just couldn't live together. This I found to be very difficult in the following weeks as there were things said that I could never ever forgive. So , it is truly a shame this was made to be my lack of self esteem , when it clearly was a lack of communication and ambiguity. I have lost all faith in this lifestyle and really know that I did my very best to show a great sense of committment and love to my everyday pride of serving someone I thought was my life partner. Unfortunately I was truly mistaken and feel now free to seek a relationship that is more a give and take on both parts. I do wish You well but I cannot ever put myself in this position again to be hurt as I was.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

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Post #: 25

RE: accepting love - 4/14/2007 9:16:47 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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If a previous relationship was one where love was expressed verbally but actions were totally opposite, then you've been conditioned to expect abuse when given verbal expressions of love. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who enjoy belittling their so-called loved ones. What you take from those relationships is distrust of people who tell you they love you because you are expecting it to be immediately followed by a kick in the pants. "I'm only telling you this because I love you" is a phrase that IME is always followed by something hateful and/or hurtful.

So don't listen to the words, just say thank you and ignore them. Instead focus on the actions. When you find someone with whom the words and actions are equal, you will begin to be able to accept it. For now, just tell people you are gunshy at having someone declare love too early in the relationship.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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Post #: 26

RE: accepting love - 4/14/2007 10:12:59 PM

minnetar

Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

a couple random thoughts....

It is so much easier to love another than to accept the love from another. We know what is in our hearts and minds... but we only think we know what is in theirs. The difference is subtle but significant.

It's easier to pull an elephant through the eye of a needle than it is to accept the love of another when we don't love ourself. When we fail to love ourselves... it begs to question the motivates of another that express love towards us.