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needing some help - 4/12/2005 2:32:56 PM

slaveneedshelp

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Joined: 4/12/2005
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I am a slave.. i do have a Master my first and hope to be only... we have been tother for 2 years though there is some distance between us....this is not an online relationship...we talk to each other everyday.....my problem is i somewhat feel he has lied to me and i am not sure it is because of my feelings or because he has... to start i have been friends with him for many many years.... we started a relationship past that about 2 years ago and he has always told me that he wanted more then one slave and told me that he went out on dates and what not but i always got the impression that he was not really in love with any of them and was not having sex with any of them...why because of asking him has he had sex with anyone but me and to my memory until the last few weeks he always has said no but know i believe that not only has he been having sex with other woman but has been seeing 2 others for about the same time as me one of witch i thought he broke up with when we started to date.. And to be honest the sex does not bother me what bothers me is that he is in love with 2 of them and says that he loves me too and the fact that i am feeling like i have been lied to....

i don't know what to do i know he loves me and he means the world to me....and as a slave that willing gave myself to him to i have the right to do anything
am i just looking to much into and am i being stupid and petty

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RE: needing some help - 4/12/2005 2:56:28 PM

BigBeninLA

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Joined: 2/23/2005
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There is a lot to be said in favor of "gut feelings," but regardless of whether he has lied to you, your misgivings are almost certainly a signal that the communication between the two of you has broken down. When confronted with these types of feelings, I believe the best thing to do is to confront them together. Whatever the results may be, they're probably better than letting yourself stew with poisoning thoughts. My advice is to speak with him in as non-confrontational/non-accusing a manner as possible. And use your common sense to decide whether he's been truthful, and what that means to you.

< Message edited by BigBeninLA -- 4/12/2005 2:57:29 PM >

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RE: needing some help - 4/12/2005 3:05:43 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

I am a slave.. i do have a Master my first and hope to be only... we have been tother for 2 years though there is some distance between us....this is not an online relationship...we talk to each other everyday.....

I'm curious, is this Master actually ever in the same room with you, or is it just a telephone thing?

quote:

my problem is i somewhat feel he has lied to me and i am not sure it is because of my feelings or because he has... to start i have been friends with him for many many years.... we started a relationship past that about 2 years ago and he has always told me that he wanted more then one slave and told me that he went out on dates and what not but i always got the impression that he was not really in love with any of them and was not having sex with any of them...why because of asking him has he had sex with anyone but me and to my memory until the last few weeks he always has said no but know i believe that not only has he been having sex with other woman but has been seeing 2 others for about the same time as me one of witch i thought he broke up with when we started to date.. And to be honest the sex does not bother me what bothers me is that he is in love with 2 of them and says that he loves me too and the fact that i am feeling like i have been lied to....

If you are a slave, you really have no right to question your Master. What I hear from you is slavery-by-proxy. You will consent to his will as long as he's doing what you want him to do. Sounds a little like topping from the bottom if you ask me.

As a slave, you have 2 choices. Accept what he's offering or take the collar off.

quote:

i don't know what to do i know he loves me and he means the world to me....and as a slave that willing gave myself to him to i have the right to do anything
am i just looking to much into and am i being stupid and petty

The use of small case letters does nothing for me as far as you exemplifying your submissiveness. For the love of all that is Holy, have the self respect to use the English Language correctly. You say you gave yourself to him willingly to do anything; However, you don't particularly care for the 'anything' he's chosen to do and that's problematic for you.

Honey, you have to pick one. Either you are his slave and you are willing to give up your rights or you aren't. There's no grey area here really. You'd think you'd be looking forward to giving him a tongue bath and be grateful and shut up.

The only reason I'm taking this seriuosly is because you aren't an on-line player; you are getting quality phone time as well.

Lily

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RE: needing some help - 4/12/2005 3:14:38 PM

slaveneedshelp

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the bad typing is no more them me trying to do more then one thing....
i see him on most weekends

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RE: needing some help - 4/12/2005 3:25:41 PM

Padriag

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Nietzsche said "Not that you lied to me, but that I no longer believe you, has shaken me." And I think that sums up what you appear to be feeling. It is not that he has lied to you. From what you say it sounds as though he has perhaps not been 100% open with you, perhaps made a lie of omission, but this is not what troubles you. What troubles you is that you no longer believe him, no longer trust him... to what... make you feel special? You said he has always said he wanted others. He has done what he said he wanted, where is the surprise in this? Is it perhaps more that you no longer feel like you hold the same place in his life, in your relationship to him, and this has shaken you? Only you know the answers for sure, I can only ask the questions.

Lily is quite right, you have two choices about the situation, either accept it and wear the collar with pride. Or take it off and walk away. Again, none of us can tell you what to do, only you can decide. Weigh the options, talk to him, what is it you really want and can he give you that? You've had a long distance relationship for two years now, that's a long time. Is this going to ever be more than that? I'm not judging, sometimes life pulls two people apart and it can't be helped but you hold on because you know for certain one day it will be different. Do you know for certain it will one day be different, better?

Somewhere inside of you are all the answers. Think it through carefully, listen to yourself, do what you have to do. Do it for the right reasons and once you decide, stick to it and don't look back.

Good luck with it

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: needing some help - 4/12/2005 3:31:26 PM

DesertRat

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Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
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I agree with Lily in a way. If you remain his slave, you have to accept his crap. You do have a choice, though: give up his collar.

If what you are saying is true and I were in your position, that's what I would do. If you want a Master who only wants one slave, you should be able to find one. Seems to me there are plenty out there.

Bob

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RE: needing some help - 4/12/2005 3:52:49 PM

slaveneedshelp

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"Is it perhaps more that you no longer feel like you hold the same place in his life, in your relationship to him, and this has shaken you? Only you know the answers for sure, I can only ask the questions. "
This has made me think i believe that you maybe right.

" Do you know for certain it will one day be different, better?"
to this all i can say is i used to think that we would some day live together my things he said and did but i out right asked him and he said that right now it is not going to happen..he did not say it would never happen...

i also want to thank all of you...out side of my Master i don't have anyone to talk to because of the type of lifestyle i have and it is hard to find someone to understand it..

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RE: needing some help - 4/12/2005 4:03:23 PM

BobcatsLilMinx

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Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
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I have an ex-Master who had 2-5 girls as well as me *I still don't know how many, exactly) - he lied to us all, and led us all to believe we were his "one and only". After I found out, I tried to accept it - but I couldn't. The trust just wasn't there anymore. So being unable to serve him fully, knowing he had lied, I left him. There was nothing else to do. For a long time, I tried to kid myself that I could do it, that I could overlook this, but in the end I had to face the painful fact that I couldn't.

Whatever you do, be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you can really live with the doubt and the uncertainty... Ask yourself if you really have what it takes to be in a poly relationship. And then act on what you know. I know now that I can't be anything other than monogamous - I don't believe that makes me a "bad" slave.

Don't be afraid to let go and move on if you need to. Sometimes we deny ourselves a happy future by clinging to the stale memories of the past.

Good luck;
Minx

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RE: needing some help - 4/13/2005 1:54:35 AM

slaveanwyl

Posts: 36
Joined: 4/1/2005
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i have just a few things to say

1. beware of hate and jealousy they kill more slaves than they save..

2. lack of communication between a Master and slave is deadly it defeats the whole power exchange thing and causing loss on both sides.

now lets talk about slavery you gave yourself to your Master in an understanding that he would have more than one slave ( correct me where i go wrong) and now you are worried that he has sex with others and that he has lied to you about this aspect of your slavery to him..

did you not discuss this in full before you committed to him ?

ask him to speak to you about what concerns you ?

be honest about how you feel and i mean really feel about the sex and the love aspect of this

just as a woman can lov in many ways so can a man he may say he loves all his slaves but if questioned he may not be in love with more than one slave i know this because my Master has two slaves but he is IN LOVE with only one slave but loves them both i hope this makes sense it does to me ..

now my owner does use his other slave but does not make love with his other slave and that is the difference and the other slave knows Master will NEVER be in love with her .. but this does not effect the relationship W/we have with E/each other i love the other slave but am in love with Master..

now you need to ask yourself a series of questions

1. am i inlove with Master
2, is Master in love with me
3 does Master just love the other girl
4 what do i feel about them
5 why do i feel like this
6 is thier a lack of communication regarding this matter
7 if so why is thier
8 what do i really want
9 what does Master really want
10 how can it be fixed..
11. what will W/we do if it cant be fixed..

now you need to totally re-evaluate what it is that frightens you by facing that fear you will half it by talking to Master about that fear you will ahve given it to him and then it is not the slaves problem anymore and a Master should deal with it..

i hope i have helped here i am sorry i am direct and to the point but i see not point in pussy footing about this is real life and it effects you deeply..as it effects him also..

communication is always essential in D/s and M/s..Truth is always needed ...

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RE: needing some help - 4/16/2005 1:19:53 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveneedshelp

the bad typing is no more them me trying to do more then one thing....
i see him on most weekends

no need to apologize or defend yourself...we do the best we can when we can do it.

i need all the help i can in writing...almost never cap, spell rotten, have horrible grammar...do i care? works for me.

am i differ on my job? Absolutely! so let me be fucking lazy!! hehehehehehehehe

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: needing some help - 4/16/2005 1:26:13 AM

slavedesires

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very nice slaveanwyl !!

good set of instructions for someone asking such questions...well thought out

~~shy

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i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: needing some help - 4/16/2005 2:51:35 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
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i have to agree whit most around here. If you are to remian his slave you must acept what he is doing. Becouse then you are his property. He might be a bad master but you are still his poperty. That is in my mind one of the lines that seperate submissives and slaves. A submissive can say i do not acept this crap. A slave can discuss things, tell her Master how she feels, but the desition is his. If you are to remain this man`s slave, you must acept what he is doing.

But you do have the option to leve him, find somone that more fit what you want. If you do not want to live in an poly relationship, find a Master that only want one girl. i think there is some trust issused between you and your Master, and do you realy want a man you do not trust to come at you whit a whip?

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