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LadyHugs -> RE: Suggested reading material for newly Dominant women? (3/29/2007 6:09:35 PM)
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Dear SusanofO, Ladies and Gentlemen;
In my mind's eyes I see many questions as to why one thinks they need to improve on? I beg for a bit of patience, as I ask this in a generalized form , as to reflect on the questions as to really seek your heart and soul as to the need to seek 'books' on 'how to.' Not to put you on the spot or expose flaws within. That is not my intent.
The books you do seek, should be focused on where your personal needs that you find lacking. Only you (in general terms) know what areas those are. If you know how to bake a pie, you do not need to find books on making pies. The books you seek, should be to enlighten you in areas that directly address where one feels they are weak. I dislike having people spend money on books that are useless.
Once you have a list of weaknesses or areas you want to focus on; I would highly recommend reading book reviews and ask on the forums on those areas you are specificly seeking. Some authors may have their works online in excerpt form. Some authors may be directly approached. And, you will be surprised how many times the same help can be 'had' on motivational speakers and seminars, to which some are free. Sometimes it just boils down to attitude adjustments and behavior modifications.
In becoming a better Domina myself--I didn't find answers exclusively in the lifestyle and in my salad days, there were no books that addressed my Dominant person in so many levels. I pulled from four civilized corners with established Dominant-submissive foundations; which was from Religion, Civilian Government and Social behavior, Military and Imperial/Nobility.
One of the most revealing lessons I learned, based on the Military vein and excerpt from my writings titled; "History of Silent Service" (copyright date: 2004) ... "Military etiquette is more stringent, as the subjects under their rules are narrower in military etiquette than civilian. The military as a whole is best when it is uniformed, disciplined and obedient..." Excerpt:
Understanding the root military principles offers the foundation of the spirit and execution of persons wearing the military uniform. These principles are as follows: Bearing Courage Decisiveness Dependability Endurance Enthusiasm Initiative Integrity Judgment Justice Knowledge Loyalty Tact and Unselfishness In addition to the basics of military principles, the leadership principles of the military are also important. These are as follows:
1. Take responsibility for your actions and the actions of your charges.
2. Know yourself and seek self-improvement.
3. Set the example.
4. Develop your subordinates.
5. Ensure that the job is understood, supervised, and accomplished.
6. Know your men and women, and look after their welfare.
7. Keep everyone informed.
8. Set goals you can reach.
9. Make sound and timely decisions.
10. Know your job.
11. Teamwork.
End of Excerpt.
Excerpt....
No matter what rank a person was within the military, the regulations to the behavior of the officers as well as through the ranks, to the inferior position, was seeing to the care, the appearances and the respect necessary, to be an efficient and effective uniformed military. One of the military regulations in the Civil War, circa 1860, was what domination and submission’s ideology.
“Authority is to be exercised with firmness, but with kindness and justice to inferiors. Punishments shall be strictly conformable to the Articles of War.” Another was, “Superiors of every grade are forbidden to injure those under them by tyrannical or capricious conduct, or by abusive language.” Again, another listed regulation of the period, speaks well for the current military as well as the BDSM uniform culture, “Courtesy among soldiers is indispensable to discipline. Respect to superiors will not be confined to obedience on duty, but will be extended to all occasions. It is always the duty of the inferior to accost or to offer first the customary salutation and of the superiors to return such complimentary notice. The customary salutation is to salute.” So, as one can see, military or not, the appreciation of courtesy, discipline, respect, obedience and duty.
End of Excerpt. (History of Silent Service by Lady Hugs, copyright 2004)
The Imperial, Civilian and Religious veins of the authority and those who submit to that authority have very similiar foundations of a Dominant/submissive structure.
In summary, the military vein does spell out plainly, even back into the Civil War era, how the respect flowed between authority and those under that authority. Dominants following an "Officer's" code of behavior would, in my mind's eyes--serve a person well. It only requires a person's good intentions as to see this to take place in a postive manner as to have positive results.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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