Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List

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Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List - 3/29/2007 7:30:37 AM

andyskayla

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/16/2007
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Someone (probably someone I refused to go out with for a 2nd date) posted a hard-core ad on Craig's List with my cell phone. Men calling all night telling how they wanted to hurt me, and it took me a while to even figure out where they got my number. At first I thought it was one random prankster and his friends, and it will be a few hours until CL finally takes it down.

Has this happened to anyone else? I feel so discombobulated and vulnerable in a really not good way. The man to whom I submit was out till this morning and he has been great giving me some comfort and a timeout from our regular dynamic, but I'm really freaked. Like that little voice inside always said something bad would happen to me if I ever gave in to who I was, and now I'm waiting for another shoe to drop, trying to figure out who the hell this was--I've always attempted to be very kind to the men I've not wanted to go out with. And I haven't even done the dating thing since the summer--why would someone hold a grudge that long and do this? How do you protect yourself? (FWIW, I NEVER gave my phone number to anyone until I'd called them (after *67) and felt comfortable on the phone. There were a few who I questioned my judgement after the fact, but I was pretty damn careful.)

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RE: Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List - 3/29/2007 7:36:50 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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Well, first off report it to Craigslist. They remove the ad and possibly go after the person who did it.

Second, report it to the police. I doubt he's going to end his little game with that ad and you'll need to have complaints on file if you're going to get a restraining order or file criminal charges.

Next, change your cell phone number. A pain, I know but the ad won't work if the cell phone number doesn't connect to you.

Some people just have issues. It's not something you did. It's his own little piece of baggage to own.

Be aware of your surroundings and take care of yourself.

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RE: Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List - 3/29/2007 10:08:20 AM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
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It sounds like just someone being a jerk -- if that's your gut feeling, then trust it. It's a fairly passive way to be a jerk, so I honestly doubt you'll have any other trouble (beyond him possibly posting the ad again or elsewhere when he realizes it was taken down -- keep an eye on craigslist and google your number every few days for a month or so).

One practical thing you can do is look at your phone for something along the line of ringtone groups, where you can say the normal rigntone is one thing and everybody in a group you make gets a different ring. Then make the default ringtone either vibrate or a completely silent MP3 file so that unknown callers won't wake you or be as much of a nuisance. Then assign everyone in your phonebook to a group like "friends" and give that group a normal ringtone so that you hear when they call.

It's also worth letting your phone company and/or the police know what is going on (you don't have to give any details about the BDSM aspect, just say some jerk you dated once posted your number on a dirty craigslist ad), perhaps see what options they suggest or can offer, but mostly just to have it on the record so if you do need to get charges undone in the future (for rude text messages or changing your number) it should be easier to accomplish.

I'm terribly sorry that you have to deal with someone else's immature shit. I highly recommend reading Gavin DeBecker's "The Gift of Fear" as great reading about bad situations and learning to trust your own intuition and gut feelings while also not living your life worried about other people.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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RE: Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List - 3/29/2007 10:26:08 AM

sunfleur

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2005
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i've heard of people doing this type of thing for revenge. i'm sorry to hear it happened to you but the others who've posted here are right. change your #, report to CL and the local PD. it's harrassment, nothing less.

(in reply to andyskayla)

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RE: Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List - 3/30/2007 1:50:10 AM

Passion357

Posts: 481
Joined: 8/7/2005
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Reminds me of the Without A Trace episode where the asian girl gives the guy that runs a site like that a pic and all the info of another asian girl who "wants to be raped...come in my window and take me" etc etc etc.

P.S. wtf is Craig's List? never heard of it...

n/m I found it...yeehaw...

< Message edited by Passion357 -- 3/30/2007 2:02:34 AM >

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RE: Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List - 3/30/2007 11:41:27 AM

pissdoll

Posts: 343
Joined: 5/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Passion357

P.S. wtf is Craig's List? never heard of it...

n/m I found it...yeehaw...

LOL you are going to be busy for a while....

(in reply to Passion357)

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RE: Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List - 3/30/2007 2:15:56 PM

akisha

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Joined: 6/25/2005
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That happend to a girlfrind of mine right here on CM. It wasn't her phone number but her IM address. She finally had to close the IM account and open a new one.

The CM people were great about getting add off here as soon as they were informed

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RE: Freaked Out! Harassed by Craig's List - 3/31/2007 4:37:49 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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It reminds me of the talk show i watched where this woman and some lawyer guy were arguing over the issue of her owning a web site that listed the names, addresses, phone numbers etc of men who women claimed turned out to be cads in some way or another. i don't see how that was legal and it certainly, in my opinion, was very unethical as well as childish.

Change your number and just try to use better judgement in the future when giving ut out again... good luck... hope the calls stop soon.

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