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Twisted Rhymes - 3/30/2007 10:21:52 PM

velvetears

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Here's a challenge - and it's fun too... pick a favorite nursery rhyme and re write it "bdsm style".....so we know the original, state it beforehand.... (Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater)

Peter Peter big ass beater
had a slave and couldn’t lead her,
put her in a dungeon cell
and there he kept her, shhhhh don’t tell

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/30/2007 10:28:17 PM

Mikal

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Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have some hanky-panky
Jack went Ohhh!
Jill went Ahhh!
and cracked her whip on his hinney

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/30/2007 10:30:54 PM

FukinTroll

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Old mother Hubberd went to her cupord
To fetch her dog rover a bone
When she bent over she discoverd
Rover had a bonner of his own

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The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 12:22:11 AM

MadameDahlia

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Jack be nimble.
Jack be quick.
Jack jumped away from the candlestick.

Likely screaming one of two things... "You want to put that WHERE?!" ... or ... "Yeeeeoouch!! That's hot!"

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 6:57:35 AM

velvetears

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Here's another one: (There Was an Old Woman)

There was an old Master

Who lived in a club

He had so many subbies

He didn’t know what to rub

He gave them some spanks

Without any belts

He birched them all soundly

And left them with welts

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 9:04:17 AM

Mikal

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Here's two more Jack and Jill ditties:

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
But Jill prefers,
The candlestick.

Jack be nimble.
Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick…
…But Jack wasn't nimble.
And Jack wasn't quick.
So Jack went home with a char-broiled dick.

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 9:45:09 AM

velvetears

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LOL... i love it

Here goes one: (Jack and Jill)

Sub and slave went to the grave
With cuts and wounds of battle
In their plight
Of who was right
Which one was simply chattel?

Then up Sub rose, from in the tomb
As fast as she could leap
When the slave just stares
The Sub bellowed, “who cares”
Your property, he can keep

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 9:47:51 AM

velvetears

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(B-I-N-G-O)

Paino

There was a Master had a sub,
And Paino was her name-o
P-a-i-n-o-! P-a-i-n-o-! P-a-i-n-o-!
And Paino was her name-o

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 9:50:13 AM

velvetears

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(Curly Locks, Curly Locks)

Naughty Subs, Naughty Subs

Naughty-subs, Naughty-subs, wilt thou behave?
Thou shalt not hide floggers, nor get on a rave;
But sit on a cushion, and rest your sore bum,
And hope that-your derriere’s color’s not plum

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 9:53:08 AM

Mikal

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(Man from Nantucket)

A mad scientist from Racine
Invented a beat-off machine
On the ninety-ninth stroke
The goddamn thing broke
And beat his balls into cream

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 10:43:14 AM

velvetears

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Last one promise

(Old MacDonald)

Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a bench
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a whack-whack here,
And a whack-whack there,
Here a whack, there a whack.
Everywhere a whack-whack
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a cross,
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With sub hung here
And a sub hung there
Here a sub, there a sub,
everywhere a sub-hung
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a whip
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a snap-snap here
And a snap-snap there
Here a snap, there a snap
Everywhere a snap-snap
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a slave
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a scream-scream here
And a scream-scream there
Here a scream, there a scream
Everywhere a scream-scream
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a chain
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a clink-clink here
And a clink-clink there
Here a clink, there a clink
Everywhere a clink-clink
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a wand
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With s zap-zap here
And a zap-zap there
Here a zap, there a zap
Everywhere a zap-zap
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a knife
Ouchie-ouchie-o
Witch a slice-slice here
And a slice-slice there
Here a slice, there a slice
Everywhere a slice-slice
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a clamp
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a pinch-pinch here
And a pinch-pinch there
Here a pinch, there a pinch
Everywhere a pinch-pinch
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a plug
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a push-push here
And a push-push there
Here a push, there a push
Everywhere a push-push
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a DM
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a “stop-that” here
And a “stop that” there
Here a “stop-that”, there a “stop that”
Everywhere a “stop-that, stop-that”
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a Jerk
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a “kneel-bitch” here
And a “kneel-bitch” there
Here a “kneel-bitch”, there a “kneel-bitch”
Everywhere a “kneel-bitch, kneel-bitch”
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a brat
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a “I-won’t” here
And an “I-won’t” there
Here an “I-won’t”, there an “I-won’t”
Everywhere an “I-won’t, I-won’t”
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchie-ouchie-o
And in this club he had a Dom
Ouchie-ouchie-o
With a “good girl” here
And a “good girl” there
Here a “good girl”, there a “good girl”
Everywhere a “good girl, good girl”
Old DomHarold had a club
Ouchieeeeeeeeeee-ouchieeeeeeeeeeeee-ooooooooooooooo

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 12:25:57 PM

ta2dqt

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WOW...........love them all................cant think of anything at this "momment" but have to give you ALL kudos for doing so well!!!! LOVE them ALL!!!! :)

]XO

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RE: Twisted Rhymes - 3/31/2007 2:07:22 PM

MiladyElaine

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little boi blue, your horn is worn.
It's been in the meadow; it's been in the corn!
Where is the boi that keeps the sheep?
In chastity, his promise to keep.

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