RE: Why is age such a big deal?

RE: Why is age such a big deal? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 1:09:06 PM)
Everyone has preferences and everyone is entitled to them. I prefer older men and women. Age is just a preference. Why care what others think of you because of your age? Your Masters opinion of you should be the only one that really matters.

WilliamWizer -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 1:20:30 PM)
I don't care a lot about the age of a sub. I prefer her to be youngest than me but if it's only a little older it's fine. what I don't want is a slave 5 or more years older than me. (don't take that 5 literally. I could have put a 4 or a 6 or a 7)

NightWindWhisper -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 1:46:00 PM)
I enjoy women younger or older than me. I was married some years ago, which ended in divorce. She was infertile due to a childhood bout of Scarlet fever (this had nothing to do with our break-up). Now that I'm single again, I still would love to have a child of my own, and not an adopted one. I'd love to be a dad, and I'd be a good one. From that perspective age is, unfortunately a very big deal. It's hard enough to find a compatible partner, but finding one that still wants to have a child seems almost impossible.

thetammyjo -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 2:40:36 PM)
Clearly I don't think it matters much. I got Fox when he was 19. I've begun training with people older than me who would not qualified to be my slave. Age isn't a big factor for me other than I do prefer a few years younger.

hisannabelle -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 7:07:50 PM)
shylah, it doesn't, to some people. i'm 19, He's 54. if age mattered to us, we wouldn't be together. we both date the people we are interested in, not based on whether they're in our age group. we have enough in common to make it work but enough different to allow us to both grow and learn new things about relationships. annabelle.

Griswold -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 7:20:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hisannabelle shylah, it doesn't, to some people. i'm 19, He's 54. if age mattered to us, we wouldn't be together. we both date the people we are interested in, not based on whether they're in our age group. we have enough in common to make it work but enough different to allow us to both grow and learn new things about relationships. annabelle. (Anyone with an age disparity of 15 years or more....should have to get a permit...and they should have to resubmit to their driving test).

hisannabelle -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 7:23:35 PM)
greetings griswold, i'm afraid i don't understand what you are saying. why would an age difference in a relationship require a special permit? that said, i don't have a driver's license, either, and i've never taken a driving test. annabelle.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 7:25:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Griswold quote: ORIGINAL: hisannabelle shylah, it doesn't, to some people. i'm 19, He's 54. if age mattered to us, we wouldn't be together. we both date the people we are interested in, not based on whether they're in our age group. we have enough in common to make it work but enough different to allow us to both grow and learn new things about relationships. annabelle. (Anyone with an age disparity of 15 years or more....should have to get a permit...and they should have to resubmit to their driving test). Why?

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 7:32:05 PM)
I think if 2 people are happy together, then whatever their age race gender or anything else shouldnt matter. But everyone has preferences. Young people often dont know who they are or what they truly want yet, which can make them less reliable for a long term. As they learn more about themselves, they may learn that you are not what they want. Sometimes, in the case of TammyJo and Fox, and Angel and I, a younger sub works out well. Sometiems, they dont. I have had younger slaves who didnt work out becaue they had very pie in the sky views of what they were looking for and didnt have any of the life experiences to know better. Most people do not stay with their first love or their first relationship... and the younger someone is the more likely you are that first. Everyone has prefernces, whether its looks, age, gender, sexuality... and if you dont fit their preference they are obviously not a good match for you. So why worry? DV

LotusSong -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 7:46:08 PM)
It's actually a matter of life experience. So many come here looking for a certainty in a relationship... they might say they came from a broken home or some other dysfunctional situation. however sad a situation is.. what do they take way from it all to help find a GOOD relationship? This lifestyle is a prime setup for abuse if they haven't been involved in life enough to spot the downfalls- however cloaked they might be. If he's a Dom- then he'd better be real and be honest, forthright and true. New and 18 just tells the cads.. "fresh meat" and some of them have their routine down pat and they are the first to contact you. HOW are you going to know? Did anyone catch Dr. Phil the other night about the 18 year old and her 40 year old sugar daddy? The man had a buddy in the audience that was livid with him. This sweet innocent bright-eyed beauty was going on how she truly loved this guy! Yup, found her soul mate on sugardaddy.c*m. Of course money had nothing to do with it. I guess that's why she was hunting for someone under that website. She had no idea how she was coming across. Anyhow, they made a fool of her and all she could do was blubber "but..but..sob!" She was seen basically as a gold digger and the boyfriend a fool. He never defended her honor. He'd just sit there and smile comfortable in the fact he had himself a piece of 18 yr old ass. Not once did she consider a man with money has the power in this case. If she proved to whiny (moved in once for a whole 3 months and found the pictures of his deceased wife in the bedroom irritating and wanted everything that showed her to be removed.) It was a situation that wasn't anticipated in her world of "vast experience". They ate her up and spit her out. Then they had what they call a "cougar"- older woman with younger man. Just as sad. She may look fine at 39 and at 23, the lad has wonderful ideals.. but each year she gets older and he begins to see what he is missing within his own peer group. She sees herself aging and insecurity creeps in- especially if she has money there is the Martha Rae situation. Is it she or her money or just being in the limelight because of her to advance your own ambitions? For those who say they had to grow up quickly because they were raped or molested- did you learn how to spot an abuser or are you hoping that it being common knowledge will have people treat you more gently? No.. to some it will mean you are vulnerable and potentially easy pickings. As Sargent Esterhouse used to say "Let's be carfeful out there"

hisannabelle -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 8:05:49 PM)
greetings lotussong, for us, my family and i knew him and knew he was a good person (as well as anyone can know someone else is a good person). in fact, it's odd, but (while we got together after she passed away), i would have hoped he's the one man her age my mom would not have freaked out over me deciding to be with. my dad accepted it because he saw that i was happy with it. i think that if i had not known him before we got together and just met him on the dating scene or whatever, it's likely that i would have been far more wary. as far as being raped...i don't necessarily think it made me grow up any more quickly. definitely, being fully self-supportive has, or at least feels like it has. but even so, no, i don't know how to spot an abuser, and i don't think it's common knowledge people will treat me more gently, or anything like that. i do my best not to let that experience make me jaded, and that's all i can do. usually, if i am physically comfortable around someone, that's a really good sign, because i'm not physically comfortable around most dates, and that has ruined more than one potential relationship - simply because i cringed whenever i was touched. so i guess in that way it is kind of an instinctual thing. we've been together for over a year and he doesn't parade me around as a trophy, so i don't think he's after me because of my age, and i don't use him as a gold mine, so i hope people don't think i'm a gold digger. but really, i can't do anything about other people's opinions, so i tend to just be happy with the fact that we're happy and let everybody else think what they want. but yes...i think there's a far bigger difference between knowing someone as a friend before you get together, and just starting out dating someone who's much older than you. it would be my guess that the latter category would be more likely to fall for someone who is looking for "easy pickings." but i agree...it's always important to be careful. respectfully, annabelle.

azzmaster -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (3/31/2007 10:03:54 PM)
age is.... age, lol.... it is just one more factor in determining what we have in common with people... some like those near their age, some people like people of the same race....others are turned on ny differences... what tend to happen sexually is people learn more as they go, but when ur young u can't imagine how much better it will get cause ur not there yet... then there are middle aged or older people who really target younger partners so they will also feel young... tho if i wanted to feel younger i would look for someone much older so i would feel young in contrast

MastaMale -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (4/1/2007 2:53:59 AM)
Age is a matter of personal preference. Some us dont care while others, like me, do. PERSONALLY I want someone around from 18 to my age+3 years. Why? because i do not have a thing for older women. Some people maybe into the MILFs and "mature" but I dont. I am not into that. Dont ask me why, I just dont want one of those relationships. Also I have other interest besides BDSM and find that I have a easier time relating those other interest to my generation or younger. But is MY perspective and that is what I want. OTHER people will be different and wont care about age.

eyesopened -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (4/1/2007 3:36:48 AM)
i think what really matters in any relationship is common goals. If people are of the same age but at cross purposes the relationship can't work. If seeking common goals, people who are in the same stage of life tend to work better than lets say one of the partners just graduating from high school with the other partner graduating to Medicare. My Master is 10 years younger than i am but He calls me little girl and it doesn't seem weird to me at all. What is most important is that we share the same goals in life and in the lifestyle and we are both mature enough to know how to turn high hurdles into speed bumps.

Amaros -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (4/1/2007 4:34:25 AM)
Haha, this fucking kid has been bringing up my sapparent age constantly in bar lately (sprng break, and the kids grandmother took them for the week - I'm commited to the concepte of a BDSM relationship, but its' been' - a while - and I'm human). Thing is, I'm like forty something, but I feel better than I did in my twenties, and I'm probobly in better shape - I look better than a lot of twenty somethings, and few of them could outwork me, looks aside, but I figure that twenty years from now i'll probobly starts showing my age for real - about the time my dad started showing his - so I'm not that worried about it, but nowadays, breeding age for a lot of current twenty/thirty somethings. On the other hand, a lot of women my age seem... fragile - even if they're probobly not - I'm not like the most physical guy b ut I have... urges, not ciolent but along more athletic lines - so unless she's like some salty old dame taunting me, it's a bit inhibiting. Otherwise, as I finally told this fucking kid, "it's when you stop learning that you start getting old", and I've seen enough sclerotic twenty somethings to lead me to this conclusion. Thing is, he he, I'd love to train a young whelp, only I'm afraid I'd tur her into as irritating an old curmudgeon as I am, and then relasing her, ususpecting, upon the world - I need like a pathological agoraphobic, or somebody that give even less of a shit than I do. It's really about the fact that I just can't make myself care, of even stomach the sexual politics of the day - whatever they may be, its mostly marketing as far as I can tell. Never been much a joiner - call me old fashioned, but I always thought it was about a man and a woman, and everybody else can go to hell if they don't like it - like other peoples lives: if I'm not in there somewhere, I don't even want to hear about it - present company excepted. Heh, I sound like an old man.

servilecat -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (4/1/2007 5:00:40 AM)
Skill and willingness should matter more. And of course skill often comes with experience which usually comes with? You guessed it....age. i have had 4 Masters in my 10 years of the lifestyle. my first Master was 5 years younger (if anyone knows Him tell Him to give me a shout so i know He's still alive...Thomas from Corpus Christi LOL ), my second was 5 years younger and my third was 11 years younger. i just feel the closer in age the more in sync people most likely are in their wants and needs and interests and of course where they are in their lives. Daddy and i are the same age.[:)]

Valyraen -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (4/1/2007 5:35:54 AM)
I dated a woman 10 years my senior for a few months who had a host of psychological issues, but even during the good times, there was a vast gulf of personality and perspective there for both of us that made relating difficult sometimes. On the other end of the stick, I dated someone 2 years my junior and felt like I was constantly having to be a security blanket in addition to being a boyfriend. There are times that age doesn't matter, I feel, and there are times that it does. Aqua and I are a little under a year different in age... my parents' births were separated by four days. Age isn't so much the issue for me as experience and perspective is. I've been around contemporaries of my parents my whole life, at social gatherings or gardening lectures that my mother would take my brother and I to. Granted, interacting with her friends and peers has gotten easier as I've grown up, but I still find that I'm on an entirely different level from all of these people, and I don't think that I could be in a successful, committed relationship with someone whose perspective I can't at least partially comprehend. No doubt, as I age, that gulf of viewpoint will narrow, as I start dealing with the sorts of things that happen in the adult world, but for now Aqua and I have trouble enough with me working 40-50 hours per week as a landscaper and her working as a student. We're in completely different mindsets, and it causes some friction, I won't lie. However, we've still got similar outlooks on life, what we want from living, and what memories and experiences are still recent, and that's part of what makes us work.

rubyleu -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (4/1/2007 5:42:09 AM)
age doesnt mean much to me. its reason i dont understand why ppl lie about their age, and stargted a discussion last year about it, but i do know that it matters to many and understand why ppl lie about their age, unfortunately.. because those ppl know that in general, you are judged by your age..

MiladyAngelique -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (4/1/2007 6:11:08 AM)
for me youth isnt such a big deal except 1) they must be legal... 2) I like to have common interests however .......... I have more issues the other way 45 is roughly my limit and it is simply because I do not want to be with someone old enough to be my father

peterK50 -> RE: Why is age such a big deal? (4/1/2007 6:48:25 AM)
I'm a better slave now then when I was in my 20's, 30's; & 40's. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to make that claim but for now it's true. I imagine the physical changes between ages 60 & 70 are as great as those between 10 & 20. I know my heart & desire are greater then ever aside from people's prejudices.

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875