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Loving a switch - 3/31/2007 3:15:24 PM

Liiaa

Posts: 17
Joined: 3/29/2007
Status: offline

while still new ,we have decovered that my wife is a switch.
and im trying to find ways of submission to increase our education for what will work for us.

will it be better if we train with a Master , or do i need to learn the ways of a sub to be a better Dom so in time she may sub to me?

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RE: Loving a switch - 3/31/2007 3:25:27 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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What do YOU want to do? Either way is valid. Talk to you wife and see how she feels. If niether of you can decide, flip a coin and try that first.

Master Fire

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(in reply to Liiaa)

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RE: Loving a switch - 3/31/2007 3:29:37 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
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My advice is just be who you are in the relationship and see what transpires. My bet is she will dominate you but that's just my optimism about women taking power lol. If you love her then help her to be who she is. Women often need help to be their dominant selves. They sometimes think it isn't feminine to be dominant.

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RE: Loving a switch - 3/31/2007 3:45:39 PM

hawkwolf7

Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

What do YOU want to do? Either way is valid. Talk to you wife and see how she feels. If niether of you can decide, flip a coin and try that first.

Master Fire

I've got to agree with that!

But, if you can locate someone who has been around the lifestyle for awhile, not just a Master but anyone with lot's of experience, they could be a big help. They should be able to cut through the bullshit and fantasy and help you come up with some valid options. In addition, they might be able to point out the danger zones, and help you identify the red flags.

Just like the rest of us, you and your wife are on a journey of discovery. There's no telling where you will end up. Just watch out for the dragons.

Best of Luck!
HawkWolf

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RE: Loving a switch - 4/3/2007 2:32:46 PM

passionateBBs

Posts: 24
Joined: 1/3/2007
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i hontestly don't know what to say....i am in the same boat...my hubby started out as my Master...but then switched to "see what i could do" and never switched back....so now i am a sub...with a switch that only submits when he wants to....and the confusion gorws and grows....sorry i couldn't be more help to Yyou.

(in reply to Liiaa)

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RE: Loving a switch - 4/3/2007 6:28:23 PM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
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It's really nice to see how much you care. There are those that believe you must sub before you can Dom. I don't personally agree with that. I believe that real Doms are born not made. Seeing an experianced Master certainly will help you both organize your thoughts and feelings. With the limited amount of info here, the first thing I'd do is find out if you and your wife have a preference. Does she prefer subbing or topping? How about you? Once you have that clarified you can figure out the path you want to take.
Best Wishes and good luck

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RE: Loving a switch - 4/4/2007 3:36:53 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
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Switches confuse the living hell out of me. My policy's been one of avoidance.

Still, being married and in love.. hum.. I'd agree with the first reply, from MasterFireMaam. See what works for you.

Relationships come together and work, not only due to the people, but how those people interact. You may have to accept the possibility things will not be as comfortable if the basic nature of interaction has radically changed.

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RE: Loving a switch - 4/4/2007 4:36:27 PM

Liiaa

Posts: 17
Joined: 3/29/2007
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well that is the issue,as im still finding my place in this lifestyle, my love for her is enternal.
so punishment will not be Pain...but yet she knows that she will not submit to me any time in the near future as i can under stand that as i need more training....but yet she will not Dom/me in any way, but she has no issue about making another man or women cry.

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RE: Loving a switch - 4/4/2007 5:25:09 PM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
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I can understand her need to Dom someone besides you. I don't understand her not suing to you until you gain more experoence. How are you supposed to gain any. Both of you can work on learning together. Start with small things and move forward.

We went through a progression where my little one asked me about switching Then we moved to a point wqhere we function often as a Dominant Couple. We function well as a couple topping otheres together.

Find what works for you and give it a try. You might find a Dominant who would help the two of you but your more likely to find someone who's main interest is in using her.

K

(in reply to Liiaa)

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Post #: 9