RE: Tribute

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MissSCD -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 5:16:46 PM)
My slave just had a weird thing happen. Check this out. He saved a profile to his favorites. It came out on the Domme's favorite profile. She contacted my slave and called him a pig and demanded a financial contribute. She has been reported to Collarme. I doubt if they do anything about it. He did not contact her. She contacted him, and when I demanded an apology, she called me a pig as well. The sad thing is some new sub will fall into their fate. It is all because of this new Who is viewing me now button and the favorites. Regards, MissSCD

SweetDommes -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 5:22:50 PM)
To the first two posters who mentioned having equipment and wouldn't dream of charging for its use ... how many people do you have on a weekly basis that message you wanting you to use said equipment on/with them? How many message you about using your equipment on/with them while they are on a business trip in your town, or while their SO is away? How many act as if they are allowing you the 'privalage' of being able to use it on/with them? How many treat you like a cheap whore/slut (in all of the bad ways and none of the good or fun ways) if you do use it on/with them - with or without charging? I know that some of the Dommes you are posting about are frauds and/or con-artists, but a good number of them can answer the first 3 questions with "100s to 1000s" and the 4th question with another relatively high number (although I won't venture to guess on that one) and that's why they require tribute of some sort. I can assure you that we have had more people that we care to who have had the attitude of "well I'm going to be in the area and you have the equipment, so you should be happy that I'll let you whip/flog/tie me up." and it gets really fucking old, really fucking fast. We don't require tribute, but we do make it clear as to our expectations - and those who don't pay attention to them, or who ignore them ... well, they go on our blocked list. Before you go on and on about how wrong it is, please try to understand that not all of them are trying to con people out of money/items ... some are just trying to recoup some losses, and perhaps prevent new people from taking advantage of them.

orfunboi -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 5:39:20 PM)
It's very simple, really, just look at a profile. If it says something about a tribute and that bothers you, then move on to the next profile. There are a lot of subs out there, that want to pay, so let them and quit worrying about it so much. Move on to the really important subjects like why are there so many fake subs or what makes a real Dom, real?

orfunboi -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 5:45:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MuscleyandCute Some Dommes like to try and re-define submission as though a real submissive is someone who wants to pay them 2.99 a minute for the Domme to tell them what she wants or else they arent a real sub but all they are doing is linking paying for a service with submission. Its similar to if for example I was a male stripper and I said that all real women would pay me money to take my clothes off or else the women are fake. Thats just bullshit because..... clients are clients women are women Then again perhaps Im not a real submissive because DianaVestas Dominance is so extreme its on an incomprehensible plain to the likes of myself and anyone who thinks Im making in interesting point.........coughs i have read a lot of Diana Vesta's posts and i have never seen her define submission as someone who pays for it. Perhaps you have a link? So, why does it bother you so much, that other men want to pay for something your not interested in paying for? How does this effect your life?

SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 5:48:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: Wickad I have met many men on this, and other sites, who waste my time and my patience. I get very tired of the 'do-me' submissive or the man who claims to be submissive when in reality is quite misogynistic. I can understand why some women would resort to 'tribute' (ie: pay for play). Mass media has bastardized the whole essence of submission and the Dominant woman. No longer is a Dominant woman a woman who is powerful in her sexuality as well as in her very self but rather a vehicle for a man to explore his desires. I rarely meet a man on these sites who speaks first of wanting to know me and my wants rather than going on about his expectations of my role in his sexual fantasy. I do not delve into the whole realm of 'tribute' but I can understand why many women would. Perhaps it is time many of the men on these sites started policing their fellow submissive men in an attempt to educate the new or ignorant of the real value of a Dominant woman - one that is not monetary. Wickad I wonder if it is almost impossible for a submissive man to properly court a dominant woman because he can't even control himself. Seriously -- if he's approaching her first and foremost because deep down he feels/hopes she may be the answer to his sexual fantasies, how can that NOT be at the forefront of his courting process? In my 10+ years online and having a lot of subs contact me because of a fairly high profile site, I would say a handful (less than 10) out of literally thousands every approached me with questions or interests in me outside of my kinky side. No one asked about my love of animals, my traditional upbringing, none of the little "tidbits" that were on my site for all to see. When my blatant, passionate, even erotic interest in hockey (of all things) was made clear, still few felt compelled enough to ask about it unless it was a sexual question. It's nearly impossible to feel like you are being approached as a woman first and foremost when you know you are not, and the guys make no effort to even try to be polite about it. When they do ask the questions about your personal interests, they are often insincere and flat. That's why the idea of a tribute - in the form of a personalized token that shows some character, thought and that the guy is paying attention - sets a guy apart (this is different from the "send me $20 and I will talk to you" tribute). I still can't believe that in all the hockey talk I did and how much it clearly rocked my world only 1 sub out of about 3 thousand had the clever idea of doing something like -- gee, cutting out a news clipping from their local foreign newspaper about a team brawl - and dropping it in the mail for me with a note that said "Thought you'd enjoy." Total cost? Maybe $2.00. But I still remember it and remember him! Akasha That's disheartening. Well, not really, because that's my competition, but seriously, wtf? I never write more than the bare minimum about BDSM in an intro letter. I know I'm wiriting a FemDom, no need to really get into more details on that until I know if I can talk to the woman or if we're compatible. It never seemed like rocket science. This will blow your mind...I wrote a woman, then commmunicated for a few couple weeks via email, then talked on the phone a bit, then met each other a few times and not once did the subject come up but in very brief joking type times.

VeryMercurial -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 6:48:39 PM)
I agree, if you don't want to give gifts or tributes move on. This seems to be a topic that really bothers many men on here.

MistressDolly -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 6:54:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aneirin I identify as switch,purely because I have leanings in both directions.When in sub mode,as of now,I look towards the Dominant women who have profiles on this site,but have dismay at those that not ask,but demand tribute.I understand this as a monetary thing,furthermore the manner in which a profile is written.I understand there are Dominant women out there,who would like to meet a submissive counterpart,but why the pretence.Why write in such a way that it disuades people.I seek real people,and I seek real prospects,I look upon what I can give as a compliment to what is taken,I will submit as one dominates,a perfect union,we service each other in our needs,my belief.So why the question of tribute?I understand for some this is to pay for equiptment that might be used,but surely those that enjoy what they do have no problem in providing equiptment they enjoy using.I for one in my other mode provide equiptment,and I would never dream of charging for the use of,it is my interest,and my belief in enhancing anothers as well as my own need.I purchase or make what is required.If and when I am to be dominated,I seek a down to earth person such as myself,no pretence,I am male and want,I believe there are also females that want,why is it we cannot be real? Focus your energy elsewhere- - these superficial money "dommes" are out there to stay and as arcane as it may seem, they do serve a purpose for certain types of men into specific forms of humiliation. You would be surprised if I shared with you my experience in speaking with men and hearing the different ways they crave to be humiliated and controlled. But alas, from the lovely male and female subs whose submission dies in vain because the self-proclaimed dom really does not value and appreciate submission but instead cares only about having a hole to plug, to the female dommes who have to invest time weeding out the bottoms from the subs, to the male doms who have to invest time weeding out female subs really looking for romance under the guise of "submissive" , etc etc and etc and etc and etc!!! You just have to accept that there's always going to be posers, liars and confused individuals out there. Your best bet? Invest your time and energy into profiles you feel are a match for you and forget the rest.

Wickad -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 8:12:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky (snipped for brevity) That's disheartening. Well, not really, because that's my competition, but seriously, wtf? I never write more than the bare minimum about BDSM in an intro letter. I know I'm wiriting a FemDom, no need to really get into more details on that until I know if I can talk to the woman or if we're compatible. It never seemed like rocket science. This will blow your mind...I wrote a woman, then commmunicated for a few couple weeks via email, then talked on the phone a bit, then met each other a few times and not once did the subject come up but in very brief joking type times. You really are a rarity. Thank-you!! Wickad

AAkasha -> RE: Tribute (4/1/2007 8:12:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky That's disheartening. Well, not really, because that's my competition, but seriously, wtf? I never write more than the bare minimum about BDSM in an intro letter. I know I'm wiriting a FemDom, no need to really get into more details on that until I know if I can talk to the woman or if we're compatible. It never seemed like rocket science. This will blow your mind...I wrote a woman, then commmunicated for a few couple weeks via email, then talked on the phone a bit, then met each other a few times and not once did the subject come up but in very brief joking type times. I have seen your posts and can say that I absolutely believe you are in the minority and are not one of the kinds of subs that I was talking about. In fact, your earlier post on this thread kind of brought it all together in my mind. I guess the bottom line is - how many subs have the patience to keep their sub side dormant during the courting process? Most can't get past about 5 minutes. I honestly feel that the longer you wait to bring it up, the better you are. I can't speak for all femdoms, but I also know some of the "predatory fun" is wasted when a potential mate allows me absolutely no room to peel him like an onion when it comes to his dark desires, kinks, hidden fears, nervous areas, hottest fantasies. I grew up enjoying the process of "extracting" this information from vanilla boyfriends and delighting in the responses. Now, you get an email or question on the phone 15 minutes into getting to know someone asking how much CBT experience you have. Not very romantic, and it means I don't get to play the predatory game of revelation at my own pace, and extract information from him in a way that makes it exciting for me. You are going about it the right way. In my time on the various boards, there are a handful of subs out there that I think are destined to be in great relationships, they just haven't been found yet. Akasha

Seatonstomb -> RE: Tribute (4/2/2007 11:08:57 AM)
Remember he who pays the piper calls the tune

GuidingLite -> RE: Tribute (4/2/2007 11:36:33 AM)
so whut. its a known fact pros (dominant lifestylers or just dommes for pay) act as Top Servicers to the paying client. who cares though really. the sub is suposed to call the shots. big freakin deal. ::::LOL:::::

DianeB269 -> RE: Tribute (4/2/2007 1:18:52 PM)
Hey If it wasn't for Pro Dommes, some people would never find out what it's like to be a sub. There is nothing wrong with Pro Dommes..The money is very good and no strings .Damn, That's how and why I got into BDSM. Diane

kc692 -> RE: Tribute (4/2/2007 5:14:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: orfunboi quote: ORIGINAL: MuscleyandCute Some Dommes like to try and re-define submission as though a real submissive is someone who wants to pay them 2.99 a minute for the Domme to tell them what she wants or else they arent a real sub but all they are doing is linking paying for a service with submission. Its similar to if for example I was a male stripper and I said that all real women would pay me money to take my clothes off or else the women are fake. Thats just bullshit because..... clients are clients women are women Then again perhaps Im not a real submissive because DianaVestas Dominance is so extreme its on an incomprehensible plain to the likes of myself and anyone who thinks Im making in interesting point.........coughs i have read a lot of Diana Vesta's posts and i have never seen her define submission as someone who pays for it. Perhaps you have a link? So, why does it bother you so much, that other men want to pay for something your not interested in paying for? How does this effect your life? MuscleyandCute seems to dwell on this his whole life. Under his last persona he moaned about the same thing. I haven't looked but I daresay if you were to look at his posts under this nick, they would overwhelmingly be about tribute and prodommes. I personally would hate to be that bitter in my life, but oh well, maybe that's his kink who knows. MandC I truly hope one day you are able to let fo of whoever and whatever was done to you to poison you so badly.

Lashra -> RE: Tribute (4/2/2007 6:43:54 PM)
There are Pro Dom/mes, Pro subs,Pro switches and Pro leeches on the forum that will happily take your money. You just have to know what your getting into and decide if that is what you seek. There are people on here who are actually looking for a relationship that doesn't involve cash changing hands. You just have to weed through them to find what it is that you seek. ~Lashra

MiladyAngelique -> RE: Tribute (4/4/2007 10:41:09 AM)
my profile is soooo long because I had to resort to spelling out what I want in a msg... how many do as I ask very few, also a lot seem to think because I put in there I want them employed (outside the home) that I will be expecting a tribute, I am not. I find unemployment a sign of laziness and I do not intend to support someone who is capable of supporting themselves. but if you mention being employed subs seem to assume you mean that you will want them to pay tribute.

MisPandora -> RE: Tribute (4/4/2007 11:40:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I wonder if it is almost impossible for a submissive man to properly court a dominant woman because he can't even control himself. Seriously -- if he's approaching her first and foremost because deep down he feels/hopes she may be the answer to his sexual fantasies, how can that NOT be at the forefront of his courting process? In my 10+ years online and having a lot of subs contact me because of a fairly high profile site, I would say a handful (less than 10) out of literally thousands every approached me with questions or interests in me outside of my kinky side. No one asked about my love of animals, my traditional upbringing, none of the little "tidbits" that were on my site for all to see. When my blatant, passionate, even erotic interest in hockey (of all things) was made clear, still few felt compelled enough to ask about it unless it was a sexual question. It's nearly impossible to feel like you are being approached as a woman first and foremost when you know you are not, and the guys make no effort to even try to be polite about it. When they do ask the questions about your personal interests, they are often insincere and flat. That's why the idea of a tribute - in the form of a personalized token that shows some character, thought and that the guy is paying attention - sets a guy apart (this is different from the "send me $20 and I will talk to you" tribute). I still can't believe that in all the hockey talk I did and how much it clearly rocked my world only 1 sub out of about 3 thousand had the clever idea of doing something like -- gee, cutting out a news clipping from their local foreign newspaper about a team brawl - and dropping it in the mail for me with a note that said "Thought you'd enjoy." Total cost? Maybe $2.00. But I still remember it and remember him! Akasha We're in a Me society. We exist in a culture where we're brought up to secure what fulfills us, and that includes our sexuality. So of course, a guy is going to go in head first, after the things that HE wants if he's not first educated himself on how he gets that in this particular subculture. He's going to treat the dominant woman as though she's a "Life Support System for his Kink" or a "Glorified Holder of a Whip" (or other fetish object.) His failure to acknowledge her existance as a human being with feelings, emotions and sensitivities will ultimately be his downfall. You are absolutely right, AAkasha. If he learns a bit of self-control and informs himself about the mores of this subculture, he's going to walk in knowing the expectations of a dominant woman -- be it pursuing her from the standpoint of a relationship or as a commerical transaction if that suits his particular needs. He'll provide the appropriate communication, he'll be 'domina-centric' in his approach rather than facing off at all dominant women as though they were identical and he'll have far more success. And in being domina-centric and paying heed to what that particular woman wants, I suspect he'll recognize before he approaches that a particular woman requires tribute or doesn't BEFORE he gets into it with her, rather than after he blindly approached.

MisPandora -> RE: Tribute (4/4/2007 11:42:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissSCD My slave just had a weird thing happen. Check this out. He saved a profile to his favorites. It came out on the Domme's favorite profile. She contacted my slave and called him a pig and demanded a financial contribute. She has been reported to Collarme. I doubt if they do anything about it. He did not contact her. She contacted him, and when I demanded an apology, she called me a pig as well. The sad thing is some new sub will fall into their fate. It is all because of this new Who is viewing me now button and the favorites. Regards, MissSCD For some folks, both male and female -- that whole schtick IS their kink. Don't lose your sense or composure! Politely say, "No thanks" and block them. Move on.

Najakcharmer -> RE: Tribute (4/4/2007 12:17:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha In my 10+ years online and having a lot of subs contact me because of a fairly high profile site, I would say a handful (less than 10) out of literally thousands every approached me with questions or interests in me outside of my kinky side. No one asked about my love of animals, my traditional upbringing, none of the little "tidbits" that were on my site for all to see. When my blatant, passionate, even erotic interest in hockey (of all things) was made clear, still few felt compelled enough to ask about it unless it was a sexual question. Yep. I don't want your &^%%$ money, I want a sub I can actually talk to intelligently about gaming, science fiction, herpetology and/or some of my other real life interests. But a LOT more men are willing to give me money (even though I don't want it and don't ask for it and find it insulting to be offered it) than have EVER bothered reading my profile and respecting what is written there about wanting to get to know people and to start up our initial conversation on the basis of real life common interests. Fact is, most "sub" men are not interested in me, or what I want, or what pleases me, or in anything whatsoever about me beyond "oh look, she has tits and a whip and she might DO ME if I send her pictures of my big hard penis. drool wank" The magnitude of their selfishness and total uncaring about anything and anyone other than themselves is pretty appalling. I have to wonder if they have any clue at all how unappealing it makes them look, and how obvious it is that they are not "submissive" in the least. Demonstrating a total lack of interest in and respect for a prospective partner's wishes is a pretty good clue that he isn't submissive, he's a horny wannabe fetishist with bad manners who doesn't care about anything except his own hard dick. Not attractive in anybody, let alone someone professing to be submissive. Money is a shortcut if you aren't willing to invest genuine time, effort and energy into finding out what a Domme wants and exerting yourself to give it to her. What a domme actually wants doesn't have to cost anything at all except for your time and attention. If more male subs were genuinely willing to invest even two minutes of their time to READ MY FUCKING PROFILE and start a conversation on subjects that really give me pleasure to converse on, my kinky play life would be a hell of a lot busier. But for the most part "subs" simply aren't willing to invest that much effort, so 90% of what I get in my inbox is the crap I specifically state that I don't want. And they get blocked and deleted, since they have already made it obvious from the start that they don't care about what pleases me, or even about what I consent to. It's always a very pleasant surprise when I get the kind of first contact that I ask for in my profile, a friendly and intelligently written letter stating common real life interests that gives me the chance to get to know a prospective sub as a person I might want to spend time with. Actually paying attention to what I want and what would please me is guaranteed to get a positive response. Completely ignoring what your prospective domme wants and focusing only on your immediate kinky gratification is guaranteed to get a negative response. This has been a public service announcement from an annoyed dominant.

SLAVEBOY32 -> RE: Tribute (4/4/2007 3:55:37 PM)
In my 10+ years online and having a lot of subs contact me because of a fairly high profile site, I would say a handful (less than 10) out of literally thousands every approached me with questions or interests in me outside of my kinky side. No one asked about my love of animals, my traditional upbringing, none of the little "tidbits" that were on my site for all to see. AAkasha, i have to ask, is that statistic an exaggeration? If it's not, that is pathetic, and why the hell don't i have Dommes beating down my door...lol. I NEVER bring up ANYTHING pertaining to sex or S/m etc until the Domme brings it up first, short of addressing any specific questions they have in their profile that they want answered in a firt email. As much as i can remember, every Domme i have ever met has been the first one to go in depth about BDSM. Sometimes they did this early on in convos, sometimes it happend much later. Some were serious keepers, some were the type that ended up not being what i was interested on for whatever reason. Also should be noted, there was no direct connection between decnt ones, and not so decent ones, and th eones who delved into BDSM early on and the ones who brought it up later on. Does this have to do with someone's backround or how they were raised? And now i wonder, would they talk to vanilla women about sex so early on? possibly they are new and automatically think all Dommes are whores? Now, i will flirt a bit after 4 or 5 emails or phone calls, i'm talking about mixing in a light joke or gesture in a convo, of BDSM nature, if i am having trouble getting a reading on how a Domme feels about me and want to know if we are headed towards "friends zone". To add my 2 cents to the OPs original question, financial tribute is a big NO for me. BUT a gesture along the lines of what Najakcharmer mentioned, is totally fun. Someone asking for money right upfront is just a total turnoff to me. For some if it works, hey that's fine. For me, i need to know this Domme is interested in ME for ME, and NOT because i gave her money. I just could not bring myself to pay someone to spend time with me, and they MAY genuinely like me, but i would never know because i had to give them money to get them to want to be with me. Same is true for even a strip club, i freggin HATE those places, hot chicks coming up to me, asking me if i want them to dance for me, and all i can think is, aside from the fact that you are vanilla, would you even talk to me if we had not met in here? I have never to this day, EVER payed for a lap dance at a strip club and the only time i go is for a party or work function where everybody is going etc. I just sit there, totally unaroused talking to the guys i'm with, because there could be the hottest chick in the world in front of me, but if she's just with me for money, totally ruins the mood.(yes i know a party at a strip club for workers is odd but yes i used to work at a place where this happend alot). Now if a Domme that i am meeting for the first time, or am just getting to know, just wants to test my dedication, and wants to do this without exploiting me financially, then it's fun. I once had true Domme tell me to bring her a pack of cigarettes for our first meeting. She told me i was the 4th sub she had met recently, had made the same request to the others, and none had done it. She told me if you come to meet me, and you don't have a pack of cigarettes, our meeting is over right there. Needless to say i had the cigarettes and that was the easiest tribute/request for a first meeting i ever had. Some Dommes haven't wanted anything for our first meeting, as long as it is not financial exploitation, i like showing a Domme i am sincere. But if i am in an exclusive relationship with a Domme, and She has a financial problem, short of it being due to drugs or something along those lines, i'll spend every dollar i have, sell everything i own, and borrow everything i can to make sure She is O.K. But that's not so much a slave/Mistress nature as i think just normal behavior for any couple? Since Domme/girlfriend is always the nature of an exclusive relationship for me, some may not call me a TRUE submissive. Anyway, read over my reply, kind of went off on a few tangents, oh well, but to sum it up, financial tribute is not for me, might work for others and that is fine, but a non financial request, or request involving minimal money and more effort just to show sincerity, is totally understandable i think.

Aneirin -> RE: Tribute (4/4/2007 4:02:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Seatonstomb Remember he who pays the piper calls the tune I have to say I have to disagree with that.My interest in finding a female to submit to,is I wish to be there for their interest.I get whatever from a situation purely from the fact that I am pleasing them in whatever way.The suggestion of paying for one's needs would in my oppinion reduce someone to something from the seedier side of life,an object to use.

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