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sub or switch - 4/1/2007 1:55:58 PM

defiantbadgirl

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Is someone a switch only if they enjoy both dominating and submitting without provocation? What if a person craves submission and never feels the desire to dominate unless the partner deliberately provokes with nonconsentual rude or unfair behavior? Would such a person be considered a switch or a sub?

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 1:59:18 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Dominating a situation isn't the same as "being a dominant" and having the authority in the relationship.

To me a Ds switch is someone who is fulfilled by intimate personal relationships in which they have the authority and in which they do not have the authority.

Getting pissed off at someone being rude just means that they are manipulating you to react. If someone is rude to me, I ignore them.

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 2:17:31 PM

defiantbadgirl

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So even subs occasionally have dominant thoughts if they are deliberately provoked?

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 2:26:15 PM

CelticPrince

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badgirl,
the issue is really hwere is your head and what is contained therin.
A switch has the ability to perform on both sides of the slash, and enjoy them both with equal vigor.

Aproblem will developehow ever with some Dominants that do not wish to interact with a switch simply because the other side of the slash persona may well jump into the interaction and create a problem that might not otherwise be there.

Thus if your a switch, enjoy it but be warey of hooking up witha strong Dominant that would tolerate the other side persona.

CP

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 2:27:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
So even subs occasionally have dominant thoughts if they are deliberately provoked?

Most humans are dominant and submissive in terms of personality and how they deal with situation- life requires it. A master is submissive to the chair of the board at a meeting, even if the chair of the board is a slave.

Being "A dominant" or "A submissive" in a the terms we use in this sub culture simply means how one basis the dynamics of authority within their relationship.

Wanting to control a situation in life doesn't negate one's submission. Wanting to NOT be in control of a situation in life doesn't negate one's dominance.

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 2:30:37 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

badgirl,
the issue is really hwere is your head and what is contained therin.
A switch has the ability to perform on both sides of the slash, and enjoy them both with equal vigor.

Aproblem will developehow ever with some Dominants that do not wish to interact with a switch simply because the other side of the slash persona may well jump into the interaction and create a problem that might not otherwise be there.

Thus if your a switch, enjoy it but be warey of hooking up witha strong Dominant that would tolerate the other side persona.

CP

Switches aren't multiple personalities- it doesn't just jump out of nowhere. In fact, I personally am an extremely rare case of a person who switches WITHIN a relationship. It's highly uncommon and far more common is that a person is the dominant in ONE relationship and submissive in ANOTHER relationship, with different people.

A dominant needn't be wary of me and I needn't be wary of him/her- the relationship we develop will be whatever we want it to be. If I am a slave to that person, then that is what I am. There is simply no question of my "other side" leaping out or messing things up because that's not THE relationship we have together.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 2:30:43 PM

defiantbadgirl

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That's just it. I don't know what I am. The only time I want to dominate is if someone deliberately pisses me off. When it comes to cravings and desires without provocation, they are all submissive.

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 2:32:03 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
That's just it. I don't know what I am. The only time I want to dominate is if someone deliberately pisses me off. When it comes to cravings and desires without provocation, they are all submissive.

You want to control a situation when it's out of control and you aren't having fun.

That doesn't mean you're a dominant or want to be a dominant. It means you are a control freak who can't just ignore people who piss you off.

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 2:34:07 PM

xolarkinxo

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Provoking someone means to cause anger or resentment. I don't think that wanting to dominate someone out of anger means that you are a switch; more that you are angry enough to want to react and display that anger.

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 3:08:33 PM

defiantbadgirl

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I guess that means I'm a sub. Thanks for the input everyone.

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RE: sub or switch - 4/1/2007 3:16:45 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

badgirl,
the issue is really hwere is your head and what is contained therin.
A switch has the ability to perform on both sides of the slash, and enjoy them both with equal vigor.

Aproblem will developehow ever with some Dominants that do not wish to interact with a switch simply because the other side of the slash persona may well jump into the interaction and create a problem that might not otherwise be there.

Thus if your a switch, enjoy it but be warey of hooking up witha strong Dominant that would tolerate the other side persona.

CP

Switches aren't multiple personalities- it doesn't just jump out of nowhere. In fact, I personally am an extremely rare case of a person who switches WITHIN a relationship. It's highly uncommon and far more common is that a person is the dominant in ONE relationship and submissive in ANOTHER relationship, with different people.

A dominant needn't be wary of me and I needn't be wary of him/her- the relationship we develop will be whatever we want it to be. If I am a slave to that person, then that is what I am. There is simply no question of my "other side" leaping out or messing things up because that's not THE relationship we have together.

LA, I appreciate the input on this, as I recently posted the very same question on the "Ask A Switch" forum. I do have concerns that a Switch would not be totally satisfied if only one part is allowed to express himself. The Masochist of his character is quite fun to play with *laughs*.

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RE: sub or switch - 4/2/2007 7:56:19 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Reacting to something in a defensive way isn't being dominant. It's reacting to a threat.

Master Fire

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