Outgrossed

Outgrossed (Full Version)

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Termyn8or -> Outgrossed (4/1/2007 8:29:39 PM)
You may have heard of the grossing contest beytween me and my boss (I love this job). He started with: Guy walks into a doctors office, says his asshole is real big and he can hardly walk, The doc asks what happened and the guy replies that he got fucked by an elephant. The doc says "that doesn't explain this, an elephant's penis is long, but not all that wide". The guy says "Well he fingered me first". Not to be outdone I gave it to him with the oldfolks home joke. Three guys laying in bed in an old folks home, one says "I just wish I could still take a good piss", the next says "I just wish I could take a good shit", the third one says "I take a good shit and a good piss every morning at 8 AM", Then get this despondent look and it's as if he's going to cry. The other two begin to ask him what is wrong, and he replies " I don't get up until 9". Up until today I considered that to be the major clash of the titans on the matter. I thought it was all over until my buddy Joe showed up. Seriously, this guy's mind must dwell in the bowels of hell. I am serious.I am going to kick the bosses ass with this ! Got this old guy who is extremely hard of hearing, his Wife screams what others say in his ear so he can hear it. She goes everywhere with him and it comes time for his physical. So they go to the doctor and he wants samples of eveything, urine, stool and semen. The old guy didn't even hear ½ of it and is saying "What, what ?". His Wife looks at him and says "He says he needs a pair your underwear". Now who's your Daddy grossters ? I am going to kick his ass with this. T

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Outgrossed (4/2/2007 8:06:51 AM)
Gross: A barrel full of dead monkeys. Grosser: One's alive at the bottom. Grossest: He eats his way out. Master Fire

LotusSong -> RE: Outgrossed (4/5/2007 9:11:24 AM)
This is what marriage is really all about ! He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them." As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything. The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything." As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you arewaiting for?" She answered.... "THE TEETH."

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