After my first play session

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

After my first play session

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> After my first play session

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

After my first play session - 4/2/2007 6:33:58 PM

veronag

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

I would love to receive some advice from the more experienced members of these forums. I am new to this lifestyle. So new, I have only been dominated one time. I loved the experience. It rates as one of the best times of my life. All my fears about failing were gone, and I enjoyed every minute. However, about 24 hours after leaving the dom, I spiraled into almost a depression. I almost felt like I was having panic attacks, for no reason I could determine. This lasted for close to another 24 hours, with periods of almost weeping to periods of high anxiety without provication. I seem to have moved beyond this, hopefully, after taking some time to get back to myself (working out, cutting grass, and a yoga practice). My question is this- Is this common, in one form or another, or is this very abnormal behavior/mind set something I should be concerned about? I have heard that the first experience can bring up issues, but I have never heard of this reaction. Thanks for any responses, veronag

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 6:36:42 PM

His1kitten

Posts: 53
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline

I went through the same thing veronag after my One and I got together finally after over a year of an online relationship. He came to visit me for 2 weeks, those were the most wonderous 2 weeks of my life, and then He had to go back home. I was a complete wreck forever it seemed. Are you close to where your Dom lives?

< Message edited by His1kitten -- 4/2/2007 6:37:30 PM >

(in reply to veronag)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 6:36:47 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Subdrop. Don't worry, it's not fatal.

I guess it's just one of those bumps everyone has to learn on their own, but I wish people would learn about dealing with AFTER the scene as much as they prepare FOR the scene.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_743958/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#744221
sub drop please help

http://www.collarchat.com/m_649399/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#649697
Coming down from the glorious heights

http://www.collarchat.com/m_522013/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#522021
sub drop, definitions, causes, cures, and prevention

http://www.collarchat.com/m_512884/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#513003
Your insight is needed please

http://www.collarchat.com/m_487853/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#488083
sub drop (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_460639/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#460834
regaining balance after deep subspace

http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459
sub-drop what is it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462
highs and lows

http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164
subdrop or what?

Is it drop or am I kidding myself?

Depression after a scene

Sub Drop

Nervous sub seeks reassurance

sleeping...

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/2/2007 6:37:45 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to veronag)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 6:37:08 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like sub drop. I've only had it happen to me once, and it was short lived. I don't have much advice...just thought you might want the name of what you experienced so you can search for other threads on the subject.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to veronag)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 6:42:00 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

lil one, what you are experiencing is what some of Us refer to as "sub drop" (if in fact you obtained sub space). It's not uncommon. It happens to many and shouldn't be viewed as a negative. In such forms of play, there is a huge rush of endorphins flooding the brain when you are on an elevated level. When that endorphin rush stops (i.e. play ceases) the brain sometimes counteracts to the "high" with an equal "low".

Many of your brother/sister submissives are a great resource in this area. Do not discount what they can bring you fromthe voice of experience. Good luck and be well.

(in reply to veronag)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 7:11:21 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You don't need to experience subspace to experience subdrop, and you can experience subspace WITHOUT experience subdrop. They are experiences completely independent of one another.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 7:12:26 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronag

"I would love to receive some advice from the more experienced members of these forums. I am new to this lifestyle. So new, I have only been dominated one time. I loved the experience. It rates as one of the best times of my life. All my fears about failing were gone, and I enjoyed every minute. However, about 24 hours after leaving the dom, I spiraled into almost a depression. I almost felt like I was having panic attacks, for no reason I could determine. This lasted for close to another 24 hours, with periods of almost weeping to periods of high anxiety without provication. I seem to have moved beyond this, hopefully, after taking some time to get back to myself (working out, cutting grass, and a yoga practice). My question is this- Is this common, in one form or another, or is this very abnormal behavior/mind set something I should be concerned about? I have heard that the first experience can bring up issues, but I have never heard of this reaction. Thanks for any responses, veronag"

Well, I have to say, I never sunk so low that I felt a need for cutting grass (being the laziest motherfucker on the entire planet....I can assure you...cutting grass would not be a moment I aspired to)...however...

Yes, of course.

Yes. It's common.

You want.

Everyone wants.

This (your recent), of course, was a smidge more potent.

Your profile says: "I do not feel that I need to be told how to run every aspect of my life. I am an adult who is capable of making decisions about how my life progresses. "

That rocks.

Truly.

(in reply to veronag)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 8:21:15 PM

veronag

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

Thank you all for your comments. I feel much better knowing I am the only one tp experience this. The links were very helpful. Thank you again. veronag

(in reply to veronag)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 9:26:39 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Been there done that a few times actually. But i've learned to cope with it, mainly through running on the treadmill

(in reply to veronag)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: After my first play session - 4/2/2007 9:36:48 PM

SimplySubmissive

Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

You don't need to experience subspace to experience subdrop, and you can experience subspace WITHOUT experience subdrop. They are experiences completely independent of one another.

I agree with LA, as usual..lol After all those endorphins racing.. the anticipation leading up to it.. drop is going to happen. It's true even in writtings about scening that I've read I didn't read about this much.. a lot about safety, and what kinds of things that might be fun to try, after care in the first little bit of time after the scene ends, but not this drop that can happen later and last for a day or 2. Something to think about in all those newbie threads.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: After my first play session - 4/3/2007 1:53:46 AM

ownedkitten

Posts: 200
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline

Agreed - sounds a lot like "sub drop" to me as well. I'd suggest giving yourself lots of TLC, and reaching out to those around you for support to get through it. I want to be reassured a lot and physical affection is important to me when I'm going through "sub drop." Everyone processes things differently so bear that in mind as well. Good luck!

Grace In Service,
caitriona

< Message edited by ownedkitten -- 4/3/2007 2:16:51 AM >

_____________________________

"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." -Marilyn Monroe

(in reply to SimplySubmissive)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: After my first play session - 4/3/2007 6:34:04 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

Sub Drop is really a common thing that occurs, if it makes you feel any better even Dom/mes are subject to drops as well. Pretty intense, but awesome at the same time.

It's a little difficult being a submissives wishing to serve, please and be with their Dom/me. So after your Dom leaves there is a bit of any empty hole. Combine that with coming down from the endorphine rush and changes in body chemistry. Not to mention the mental aspects surrounding scene play... WHAMO...... you find yourself dropping to the floor.

This should only last for a few days or so at the most, until your natural reset button works.

(in reply to veronag)

Profile

Post #: 12