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I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 12:29:38 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I would like to have the luxury of permitting myself to fall apart...  Just disintegrate.   I'm not allowed though, because I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, an advice giver, a strong shoulder, a provider, a prefessional, a reason bearer, a peace maker, etc., and besides that, there is no one around me who knows me well enough to put me back together you see.
 
One of my brothers, the one who is my best friend, which isn't to say that I wish it were any other of mine or anyone else's, has passed away.   I hurt so much that I wish I didn't know it to be the ultimate selfish act to go to sleep and never wake up again.  To feel this kind of pain, now for the second time in my life, the first being when I lost my father, seems more than any person should have to endure.

Having said that, I ask that those of you who are my friends, please not write to me or call me about this particular subject for the next 1-3months, because it will only hurt more to speak to anyone outside of immediate family at this point.   A call would make me feel worse/more vulnerable, which is a most disconcerting feeling for me.
Thanks for reading my venting...........       M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 12:35:25 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I'm here when you're ready, Sweetie. 
Kisses and Hugs...

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Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 12:38:22 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 12:45:30 AM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		Here is some troll love babe.

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I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 12:50:32 AM   
Passion357


Posts: 481
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Will be praying for you and yours

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 12:57:26 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Noted. You need to grieve, though. It is required.

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 1:03:00 AM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		grieve in your own time, in your own way.........

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Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 7:35:43 AM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline 		Nothing but love here for you - you are in our prayers

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These are my opinions - which may differ from your opinions. They may be right and just as equally wrong.

Beware, author is often sarcastic in his replies - most often, no sincere offense is intended.

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 7:39:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		That's what therapists are for- your own private paid person who has to sit around and be ok with you falling apart.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 7:43:49 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		our thoughts and prayers are with you.

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 7:51:01 AM   
OhBeMyMind


Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline 		Just so you know you are not alone, 3 years ago I lost my best friend....my mother.   Amazingly though in the last 4 months I have lost 3 family members, my grandfather in November, my step-sister in January, and just attended my grandmothers funeral this past weekend.
Talk about wanting to disintegrate...I understand....I guess after I lost my mother, regardless of how completely unfair that was, I fully realized what 'life goes on' really means.  I have little rituals I do every day in remembrance and to celebrate those I have lost.  It seems to help me.
Anyway, not sure if you will read this but for me passing on my experiences is a small step in my healing journey.
My condolences to you and your family.


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~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 8:18:19 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		You will be in my thoughts and you have my heartfelt condolences. Please remember to take care of yourself at this time because without you, all those other people you mentioned will be on their own. It really is not selfish to grieve, because in the long run it is the thing that will lead to gaining your own equilibrium back ( I know from experience that grief delayed can be debilitating)... those who love you will just gain the opportunity to become the pillars of strength that you are when they comfort you.

Both Sinergy and I send our condolences at this time.

Sinergy and julia

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 9:29:50 AM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		hugs

We're here if you need us


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My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 9:34:34 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		My thoughts are with you.  I am all too familiar with grief and understand your words. My best to you as you go through the painful process.

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 9:36:39 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		When you are ready, I am here........kisses and hugs and prayers going your way.

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Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 10:07:24 PM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		You have my deep sympathies and are in my thoughts.  I understand your pain, please do what you must to get through this difficult time.  I'm like you, I prefer to be alone and grieve in silence with my own thoughts till I'm comfortable enough to be in the company of others.  Some people need the alone time to grieve..  .

Hugs out to you sweet lady.

Rosa

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 10:12:36 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Love you, M.  Go in grief and deal with it.

Ron


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 10:18:10 PM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		M.
You have all my deepest feelings for you in this your time of grief.
If there is anything I can say or do to be of help please do not hesitate to ask.
thompson

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 10:31:50 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline 		i know that words are pretty meaningless right now. 
Take care of yourself. 
You are in my thoughts.


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"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

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RE: I'm Just Sayin' - 4/3/2007 10:48:27 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		We have it on the best authority ... the sun will always rise in the morning.

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