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SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/14/2005 10:57:01 PM   
faithfulasst


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a single dad with kids living with me, two are teenage daughters 13 and 16. The older one and I talk about life, the universe and everything daily. Recently our discussions have begun to enter more into politics, power and why things are.

I need advice on any media books, magazines, movies, websites, etc. that will help me introduce and explain the topic of a Womans natural power and potential when interacting with men. In short the powers unique to the female gender including but not limited to sexuallity (the adjective not the verb please).

Forgive me if I struggle a bit to define what I'm seeking. I want to provide them with the power of knowledge regarding who they are and the advantages that nature affords them. I'm not looking to channel them in any particular direction, or infuse them with a particular view of themselves, but rather to provide them a broader range of ideas and information so that they have the widest selection of choices possible in their lives.

Please, remember I'm their dad. I need my vision of their innocence intact for at least a little while longer.......say twenty or thirty years more......so when recommending something I'd apprecitate avoiding problems like explaining what a Tens Unit with Attachments is for! Yeah I know, next time burn the box fully in the fireplace, don't put it in the dumpster.

Thanking You All in advance for any help You can provide,

I remain Yours respectfully

faithful assistant
aka DIYH Dad
(deer in Your headlights)
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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 4:13:13 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		That is tricky. Basically I learned what I know from Cosmo magazine. There is a Cosmo for teens. Back when I was reading it there was no "sex acts" explained. Just the sexuality that all women possess. Also, if there is a female family member available to talk to them it could help. Not that you can't teach them but sometimes they need to learn from example. Also, there is some good fiction out there where the female protagonist is strong-minded, like Harlequin Romances (innocent). Hope this helps; and good luck.

< Message edited by sweetpleaser -- 4/15/2005 4:14:21 AM >

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to faithfulasst)
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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 10:35:23 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I'd recomend any book that shows women as strong, independant thinkers. Also, I dig the retold faerie tales, because they coopt the "women as helpless" thing.

_beauty_ a retelling of "Beauty and the Beast" by Robin Mckinley is good. (As is just about everything by Robin Mckinley)

Stuff by Ursela LeGuin is good too, in that her short stories often deal with gender and the way gender is innacted in "alternate" (non-human) societies. It exploes the arbitrary nature of gender and kinda illustrates how silly gendered roles are.

_White Oleander_ by Janet Fitch is also good because it's got an amazingly strong and resiliant female protagonist

Barbara Kingsolver, ditto. Especially The Poisionwood Bibile, The Bean Trees/Pigs in Heaven, and The Prodigal Summer. (these might be a little older, though I read them when I was 16 myself)

Sandra Cisneros is also a good read.

These are less about sexuality and more about being strong as a woman, though, and being a person with strenght and integrety.

If you'd like titles about gay/lesbian identities, I'd recomend the short story book "Am I Blue: Comming Out from the Silence" and "Annie on my Mind" I have yet to find good books with gay/lesbian protagonists in which coming out -isn't- the primary concern though.

Heh. So I'm going to be a children's librarian, and I'm a women/gender studies minor. This is something of interest to me. Let me know if I can be more spesifically useful.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 10:40:46 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		There is a five book autobiographical series by Maya Angelou, beginning with "I Know Why The Caged Bird sings" that I would highly recommend.
She is an amazing woman who reaches out to young people through her experiences in life.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 11:44:14 AM   
faithfulasst


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline 		perverseangelic......You are TOOOO COOOOL,

Thank you very much for all of your suggestions. I am just beginning to rebuild my personal library. All of our possesions, including my +2000 book library were lost during the Cedar fire 18 months ago. Insurance is finally resolved and I am spending to replace at least some of what was lost. I would welcome any suggestions you might make regarding any works that you feel they would benefit from. This isn't limited to texts, at one time I was collecting prints with imagery that I felt depicted Women in empowered ways. I'm very open to any suggestions you might have! Do you have any favorite musicians whose work speaks out?

Thank you for your alternative references as well, the lesbian perspective is important for them to be aware of, a subject I will never be able to offer significant insight on, despite my proclamation of being a lesbian trapped in a mans body..... lol....just kidding.....there mom(an ever increasing conservative) would kick my ass...if she could catch me.....what am i talking about, she can run my butt down in a heartbeat.

Are there any titles you would recommend that deal specifically with their emerging interactions with young men, something that gets into the dynamics of their sexuallity and how it effects their relationships with the opposite sex, anything that talks about how and why they can posess strength and self confidence when developing these new relationships?


Thanks again

Stu

(in reply to perverseangelic)
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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 12:23:56 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

_beauty_ a retelling of "Beauty and the Beast" by Robin Mckinley is good. (As is just about everything by Robin Mckinley)


I LOVE this book, I have a copy that I have had since junior high. It's getting rather beat up, but it's just well read and well loved.


Stu,
There are a lot of great books in the thread Favorite Book?. They aren't specifically what you were looking for, but they are great books just the same.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 1:00:56 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Obviously a youngster likes me love Xena and Buffy. They might be fiction, but they are very relevant and often, both seriously and playfully, deal directly with a woman struggling to be herself and a hero in the world they have decided to protect and yet which does not welcome them.

Watch CNN and other news stations together, discuss the issues. The nightly PBS news show often features female guests and hosts.

What are her hobbies? Find out some female heros in them and talk about them.

More than anything, help her get to know herself and her own strengths.

(in reply to siamsa24)
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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 2:34:08 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Maya Angelou rocks!

(Just had the urge to add that)

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 3:03:12 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Forgive me for not answering first but responding to erins post.

It is a wonderful thing you are hoping to do for your daughters. There is so much to read and hear, that I really find it hard to even state people who have some influence in anyones life.

The best a most positive thing you can do for your girls(IMO) is be yourself, and show them that even if you make a mistake, it isn't always the end of the world. That you can overcome. That you, yourself are full of worth and special and individual. Instill this into them. Let them know that no matter what they decide, what they do, you will be there to support them. Let them know that there is no such thing as a mistake, just lessons to be learnt from every single thing they encounter. Teach them to learn, for it is when we learn, fear can be lost. It is hard to fear that which one understands. You are the most important influence in their lives right now, be postive for them, yet let them see that it can be ok to fail when you have love.

To be true to oneself is the ultimate beauty and makes a person unique. Learning of ones uniqueness is the most empowering realisation one can ever know.

Open their minds to the spiritual. Help them inhale and learnt of their spirit.

Deepac Chopra, Rumi, Dali Lama, Jesus(His words Himself, not books by fundemental teachers), Krishna...

Open their ears to music... Bjork, Sarah Maclachlan, anastasia, Faithless, Pink, Lauryn Hill, Janis Joplin,

Take a look at the Lilith Fair site.

Encourage them to take interest in the health with sites Like Breast cancer research etc...

Books like the diary of Ann Frank, books by Maya Angelou, Mary Shelly, Linda Maccartney, Barbara Kingsolver

Find information of and by Joanne Simpson(NASA), Waris Dirie(UN Ambassador)

Wow... too much info... Seriously though, one can read and discover and breath in the positive and negative experiences of many people. But as long as they know love and compassion, then the path is open to them. They will learn as life carries them along in it's wave, and with support, the will grow.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to faithfulasst)
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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/15/2005 4:20:17 PM   
faithfulasst


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline 		TO ALL WHO HAVE RESPONDED


I am indeed fortunate to have encountered so many wonderful spirits who embrace my need for help and come thru with so much sage advice.

Please keep it coming it is all valued highly.

This may sound korny but it is who I am

NAMASTE

stu

< Message edited by faithfulasst -- 4/15/2005 5:52:09 PM >

(in reply to darkinshadows)
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RE: SEEKING WOMANS ADVICE-POV - 4/16/2005 12:07:43 AM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline 		Many of the suggestions are great. Do please also keep in mind that actions do speak louder than words.
Dont talk negatively about "women drivers".
If cut off on the freeway dont say "stupid bitch".
Hold doors open for all women (and on a personal level regardless if she's dom or sub
not because we are weak or frail, but out of respect for our gender).
When talking to your daughters and explaining the nature of the world, use powerful females for examples. Sister Teresa, Rosa Parks etc with a focus on the positive contribution they made to society. So many "role models" are males. By garnering their attention on lofty goals that other women have achieved, it not only sets the example or lights the spark in their minds of the power they have but perhaps how to use that power in a manner that surpasses what many males have done in a negative vein.
When/if it comes time to have the "other" talk, impress on them that one aspect of a womans power is not what lies between her legs, but what lies between their ears. :)


_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

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