pixelslave
Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: illstoptheworld
Hi Everyone,
So,my friend and I who I play with are dying to try anal play,but we are both first timers. I am dominant and he is submissive, but I know that since it his first time I shouldn't be too forceful, or mean?Or should I?We aren't so much into physical pain,and although the idea of this is something that turns us on a lot, we havent done it yet because he is scared. Since this is his first time and it might hurt a lot, do I need to ask him if he is okay, if i need to be more gentle, or go slower? I feel torn, because I want to be mean to him and call him slut, and have it be very kinky and have him feel completely helpless and owned, but I am just so scared of really hurting him. Is there anything that isn't a strap on or a butt plug that would be good for first timers to expirement with as far as anal play? Does he need to get an enema?Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks:)
AAkasha gave you some excellent advice. Beyond that, there's some additional advice that I'd like to add. One of the stepped insertables that is graduated with increasingly larger balls/bulbs to progressively stretch the anus over are also very good toys regardless of your level of experience. They are flexible and begin at about the size of a small finger (LOL! I guess it depends on the size of your hand.). As others have said, you can never have too much lube, to that end, you might want to get some "depends"; the disposable & absorbent plastic liners you can lay on the bed as the lube will likely drip all over and soak your bed. They're very convenient and don't allow anything to leak through to the sheets (where a towel will allow that to happen). 
The most important thing above all, is that your submissive friend learn to relax and trust you. The more he relaxes, the easier things will be. Rubbing his bottom gently may help him to relax and be a silent way of telling him that he can trust you. If you have him on his hands and knees, you may want to use a few pillows to help support him as it likely is a position that he's not used to. Maintaining frequent communication with him is very important, for both the feedback and the excitement factor. Telling him what you're doing will likely help relieve his anxiety and you'll also be able to tell him to relax should you happen to feel him tighten.
What follows is the important part that I'd like to add to what AAkasha said, press into him, or have him press back toward you until he feels things are becoming too tight for him, have him pause, either stay put or pull back a tiny bit while you tell him to breathe and relax. Once he relaxes a bit, you'll feel it (as will he) and you can then have him push back further and make additional progress for entry. Every time he feels things tighten, repeat this process to relax his sphincter further. Not only will he learn to trust you, he'll also learn to trust himself that he can relax and get through those moments without experiencing them as being painful. Eventually, it will be no big deal for him to open himself to you completely and you should both find the experience enjoyable.
I can't emphasize the importance of trust and communication between you and your partner enough, if you really want to have a positive experience with him that both of you will look forward to repeating. With my new Mistress, I quickly learned to trust her a great deal in other areas and was immensely looking forward to engaging in anal play with her. To be honest, I was more like "her slut in heat" that was just anxiously waiting and about ready to beg her to take me. On that particular evening, I was soooo relaxed, that when she inserted a finger, I immediately opened completely to her. More lube, and I quickly heard her say "two". More lube was added again, and a moment or two later I heard her say "three". I was just there on my knees and some pillows, relaxed and not really feeling anything but pleasurable sensations and enjoying the thoughts from knowing what would soon be happening with her for the very first time. She surprised me when she continued to probe me. I heard her say "four", and I was soon feeling a bit of a stretch, after which she paused. I breathed slowly and relaxed, after which she pressed on. After what seemed like only a moment or two later, she told me she had her hand inside me beyond her knuckles! It didn't register with me at first what she meant. At the point when she said "four", she'd tucked her thumb inside the others. It was the first time I'd ever had a hand inside me and it was her first time for this as well! She didn't proceed further, as she was sooo hot and turned on from having her hand that far in me, she just couldn't wait to insert her FeelDoe inside me and start thrusting away! Needless to say, I was equally turned on, and began rythmically meeting her thrusts as our bodies pounded together in unison. 
It was absolutely the VERY BEST anal experience in my life to date! Yet, I also know it's only going to continue to get even better as we spend more time together learning each other's ways! 
In closing, I'd like to thank my new Mistress for this experience and the opportunity to share it. I believe in my heart, down to the core of my being, that I'm incredibly fortunate to be her new sub! 
- pixel
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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!
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First time anal play advice - 
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