personal idems stolen during break-up

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personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/15/2005 6:17:10 PM

spiritedfem

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Joined: 3/8/2005
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When a D/s relationship breaks up. Is it right for The Dominate or Submisive to keep resources, books, and toys that was brought into the the relationship by the other partner? I have seen friends loose play toys this way and i recetnly lost some of my really good books about D/s relationships due to a Lifesyle beack up. I just want back what is rightfully mine. Is it wrong for me as a submissive to expect honor even in parting ways?

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/15/2005 6:41:51 PM

nella

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Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
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This i think happen in many brakeups, D/s or not. i do not think it is wrong for you to demand back what is yours.

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/15/2005 6:43:26 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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Well Darlin, truth be known it works out like other relationships. When there is a break up shit goes missing and you normally end up with a thing or two that was left behind. Not to mention that things just get lost.

However, I remember an X that I broke up with under not so friendly circumstances. Many of her things where at my place so that she wouldn't have to get a storage unit during the summer break. I myself gave everything back except for a T-Shirt she had given me because I liked it. I even let her have the Vibrator that I placed in her back pack for whoever to see when she opened it. As for what I lost, well let's just say it wasn't anything that I couldn't buy back.

I don't know the circumstances on your break up but if you really want something of yours back that you didn't give as a gift, you do have odds to get it when you ask for it back. Just know that it means that you'll have have to talk and possibly meet again. With that said either the relationship can get worse or better. Assuming this X is a Dom, how strong are you at resisting mannipulation and getting all caught up again?

So what's really better, moving on and just rebuying the books or meeting your X again with a God Knows What outcome?

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/15/2005 8:02:17 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Nope if it was yours when you went in it's yours when you go out. He doesn't have any right legally morally or emotionally to it.

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/15/2005 8:16:04 PM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
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This is defintiely not a D/s relationship problem. It happens in vanilla relationships, too. If it was your before, or if you bought it in the course of the relationship and it was not a gift, then you have every right to ask for it back. The downside is that you might have to see this person again, unless you can trust him to leave everything that was yours at a safe spot where you can pick it up.

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/16/2005 12:15:23 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
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merely my opinion.....

if "it" was shared in a relationship, no matter who bought it...someone claims it.

well unless you want to cut it inhalf and still share!

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"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/16/2005 8:38:46 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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This is actually one of the things that needs to be discussed before you begin sharing things.

And this has nothing to do with Ds, once the relationship is over, there is no Ds to worry about.

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/16/2005 11:47:07 AM

Kinkypupper

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Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
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If itsa a Master/slave situation then you may be realisticlly released or have asked for that realease with the clothes on your back ( maybe).
However yes honor and respect is a big deal and I would hope that it would be a mutual parting of ways and any "mutual toys" acquired during the relationship should be evenly divided.
But then I feel that "Vanilla" partnerings that fail should not be left to shisters as well.

or perhaps just given to a good charity for lost,homless toys.. (I would be happy to accomodate that btw)

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/16/2005 12:19:00 PM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

If itsa a Master/slave situation then you may be realisticlly released or have asked for that realease with the clothes on your back ( maybe).
However yes honor and respect is a big deal and I would hope that it would be a mutual parting of ways and any "mutual toys" acquired during the relationship should be evenly divided.
But then I feel that "Vanilla" partnerings that fail should not be left to shisters as well.

or perhaps just given to a good charity for lost,homless toys.. (I would be happy to accomodate that btw)

you shameless dom! hehehehehe

soliciting someone elses unwanted toys

lmao

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i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/16/2005 1:42:18 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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Well sure why shouldn't he solicit them. Toys should never be unwated it's an outrage, a tragedy. a horrible injustise for a toy to be unwanted:P

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/16/2005 11:00:19 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
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When my ex and I parted ways, I felt that honor required me to ensure that she was able to retrieve everything she brought with her when she came to me. It's been my experience that not everyone thinks the same way I do, or is prepared to live up to my standards, but I think it's the most ethically correct way to live.
OTOH, I also made a point of giving her everything we had accumulated in our years together, as well. I could lie and say I wanted to make sure she didn't do without but the truth of the matter is that I wanted to make sure she knew I would have nothing to remind me of her. Whatever else she may say of, though, she can't say I didn't provide for her even after I found out she's a liar and a cheat, lol.
One can be fair and still twist the knife, when the need exists. Sadist that I am, I also made a point of letting her know my current girl is bearing my child. That turned out to be much more satisfaction than I could ever have had keeping her stuff, lol.
Timothy

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RE: personal idems stolen during break-up - 4/17/2005 5:52:21 PM

spiritedfem

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Hey A/all thanks for your replies. Looks like i might be geting back my stuff but i wont know for sure till thursday when they are due to show up. Also i am begining to balance out and not be so hurt and angery about what happened. Soom i will be emotionaly free to move on.

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