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arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Trade offs (4/5/2007 9:15:35 PM)
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You are making a point that for you some things are hard-wired. And they may be for you. But those same things may not be for another person. 2 years ago I knowingly got involved with a married man who already loved 2 women. Now he is poly. And I can be monogamous and involved with a man who is not. But instead I chose to open myself to other men. This is not hardwired in me. For me it is a continuum and I fall somewhere along the spectrum. And I don't even think of it as a trade-off.
I have watched a woman who has been in an M/s relationship for many years and the relationship is shifting. Again. For the 4th or so time in the 20+ years they have been married. And it is no longer M/s. They are feeling their way through the changes. Together. Cause bottom line is that they love each other, they want each other, they crave each other, and their committment to each other is tantamount. And so they give each other the space to grow and morph and not assume that anything is necessarily hard-wired.
In the end it is about what people value more. And it is a very, very, very, very individual choice. And as such can often not be understood by others outside the relationship.
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