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RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 3:52:36 PM

DeSade401smo

Posts: 16
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

This brought such wonderful memories - the nervous excitement. My very first meeting with a dominant went very well. In fact, we talked for a couple of hours; it felt like five minutes. Wow was I wet!!! Everything around me felt like a fog for a few days after, too.

Best of luck - have a wonderful time - but please don't get caught up and go anywhere with him - just a meet and greet the first time.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 21

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 3:53:58 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

No worries...it turned out to be a great night. We talked about everything, plus the food was great. And, I think she's attending our munch with us this month. So, it all worked out in the end. Just remember...have fun!

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 22

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 4:05:15 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

See what I mean?

I actually invited a local submissive for coffee, and didn't know that the place closed an hour before we were supposed to meet. I basically polled everyone who approached the closed coffee shop..."Are you K***?" Finally, we did meet and go out for dinner, but geez!

Ha Ha Ha !!

This is funny.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 23

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 4:20:31 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

It's funny now, but at the time I was freaking out. I thought she'd think I did it on purpose. All's well that ends well, I suppose...but I'm never gonna set up a meeting wihtout checking the closing time EVER again.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 24

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 4:29:21 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i'm meeting another collarme member Saturday after chatting online and phone for 2 weeks. though i feel slightly nervous about seeing him for the first time, i'm treating this like any other coffee date i've gone on before. nothing spectacular is being planned - just hanging out around town in public places.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 25

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 4:32:41 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

Good for you! I hope you have a great time! I always enjoy meeting people for coffee...I should probably list it as a fetish.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 26

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 5:02:18 PM

Zsuzsanna

Posts: 108
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

I am meeting a potential Domme for the first time on Friday. Just for coffee/walk around the park/conversation at this point. From our conversations online, it seems we have a lot in common, and we share the same kind of humor.
Even so, I am a bit nervous. I am new to this lifestyle, and have never actually met someone that I had "talked" with online. So, out of curiousity, subs...remember meeting your first Dom/me, or a potential one? Where you nervous? How did it go?
Thanks!
Rose

Oh yes! I was VERY nervous, almost to the point of shaking. But he did everything he could to make me feel comfortable, and after short time I was.
Good luck! I hope everything works out.

_____________________________

"Somewhere Ralphie smiles and says enjoy her every cry." Tori Amos

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 27

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 5:27:38 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Was i nervous boy was i. I mean i had talke to him on the phone fpr quite a while. We met at a Starbucke halfway between our homes. I got very nervous when he was running a little late but he got there. I was sitiing at a table when he came in he describe himself but i did not see him i was reading he walke right up and said littleone? I sais Matt? I hugged him. It was wonderful we talked and laughed and he gave me out first kiss. Been almost 14 months now and going strong. Good luck on yoru date.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Zsuzsanna)

Post #: 28

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 8:54:30 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Gosh what's with the subs freaking out? I've got a great friend I've been getting to know for months- and asking regularly if she'd like to play. The answer is always a shy "Yes but in private first" No problemo. I let her watch me play with others, we played with someone else at her place, she keeps talking to me about me dominating her and I keep telling her that I just go with the flow and it will happen when it's ready and there's no rush.

SHe finally makes the bold move to ask if we can do something serious together *gasp* I say absolutely, great, why don't you come over next weekend and we'll have a great time together.

Next I get this whole hesitant scared email about wanting to take it slow and easy and make sure it's not too fast and that we have a good time.

*smacking head on keyboard*

I love her, but she's driving me crazy :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 29

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 9:47:23 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

I am meeting a potential Domme for the first time on Friday. Just for coffee/walk around the park/conversation at this point. From our conversations online, it seems we have a lot in common, and we share the same kind of humor.
Even so, I am a bit nervous. I am new to this lifestyle, and have never actually met someone that I had "talked" with online. So, out of curiousity, subs...remember meeting your first Dom/me, or a potential one? Where you nervous? How did it go?
Thanks!
Rose

i was extremely nervous but he calmed me down just by talking and getting to know me for the person i am. Good luck

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 30

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 10:28:30 PM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

I have anxiety issues anyway, so there's no such thing as not being nervous and scared about something like this. But I deal with that so often that I've learned to 'just do it' in spite of the adrenaline. Once in awhile I'll start feeling better, much more often I don't until further meetings breed familiarity. That doesn't mean I let it prevent me from interacting and having a good time. Meeting my current was no exception...major case of nerves (some good some bad) that never went away completely, but in spite of it we just fell into each other right from the start. I was still nervous, but I didn't care! lol

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 31

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/5/2007 9:29:36 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Kinda sweet and kinda cute for a while.

Made me smile.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 32

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/5/2007 7:24:08 PM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

This topic made me grin just reading it. I'm a very shy person on first meets, doesn't matter if I've spoken to someone for weeks or months. At any rate, the first time I met a Dom, we'd been talking for 6 months (long distance thing), and met at a public park. I swear I may have made eye contact a grand total of twice, and every time he looked at me, my face turned 999 shades of red..but in spite of it, I walked around wearing a huge smile for weeks afterwards. A few months after, he told me all the blushing was the cutest thing he'd ever seen, so you never know. Just go, be yourself, and see what happens..good luck!

*laughing..and I still have a problem making eye contact, but now I see it as more of a positive than a negative, and have never heard a complaint*

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)

Post #: 33

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/5/2007 8:21:13 PM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

Where you nervous? How did it go?

Yes, I was so nervous I almost didn't go but i did and It went wonderfully *smiles* I remember Master saying " I know you would be nervous but I didn't think you would be trembling" That was about 4 years ago.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 34

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/5/2007 8:43:29 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublimelysensual
*laughing..and I still have a problem making eye contact, but now I see it as more of a positive than a negative, and have never heard a complaint*

I personally wouldn't complain, but I wouldn't find it attractive or try to get to know you better.

I prefer confidence and ability. I know lots of doms prefer shyness and lack of confidence though.

I accept shyness and a bit of timidity, and can find it amusing- but not to this extreme.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/5/2007 8:44:21 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sublimelysensual)

Post #: 35

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/6/2007 5:56:58 PM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

I have to admit, you got me thinking here, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The thing is, I'm very confident in who I am as a slave and as a woman. I think it's more of a combination of my mindset (that unless told otherwise, I shouldn't be making a lot of eye contact), and the fact that I truly am shy. It does get easier the longer I know someone, and in nilla social situations, my reactions are socially "normal", in other words, it's not that I'm particularly socially inept. I also have a tendency to look for Doms that are more strict, old-fashioned, etc, that have the same mindset that I do about eye contact, not sitting on furniture unless invited, etc. Thank you for making me think, the way I see it, the more you know about yourself, your motivations, etc, the better person you become for your mate..

-a

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 36

RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/6/2007 7:19:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I agree and I'm glad it helped.

The second "date" my partner and I went on was meeting up at a Firefly group thing at a restaurant. I showed up with two of my other partners. He didn't say a WORD- even though I tried to include him in our conversations.

He was certain that he'd completely blown it and I'd never want to see him again. I was amused about it and since we'd emailed and had a date before and talked on the phone, I had a bigger sense of him and figured it was just an extreme case of nerves.

If he'd done it AGAIN on our next date, then I'd have begun to pull back and let him know that I needed someone a bit more interactive and confident. But he screwed up his courage and wow'd me the next time we were together.

As someone who HATES social situations of almost any sort, trust me, I understand the dread of small talk and starting conversations. It's why I've worked so hard to appear calm and collected at them.

And you're right, it always comes down to personal preference. I'd just be careful that you're with a man who finds it endearing that you want to submit, not because he thinks you'll be a pushover.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sublimelysensual)

Post #: 37

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