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Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 12:23:27 PM   
blknovicesub


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, I have been doing alot of researching in the local area, been observing a group of lifestylers from a far for a long time and I am ready to socialize real time. How does one approach a school/house/family for training.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 12:48:35 PM   
yugla


Posts: 67
Joined: 1/14/2005
Status: offline 		How do you approach some one when you need directions and notice because of their license plate and town dump sticker they must be from the county you are looking for? Make idle chat and then ask.

I was unaware of any schools or colleges offering subbing 101 but I would imagine that would be even easier.

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 12:52:15 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Are you sure that you want to start off poly? 

You meet someone by going to clubs, munches, looking online and emailing etc. You date people you are attracted to and if the attraction seems to grow to a sexual level, you then talk to them about what you're interested in and see if they respond.

(in reply to yugla)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 12:52:25 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blknovicesub

Ok, I have been doing alot of researching in the local area, been observing a group of lifestylers from a far for a long time and I am ready to socialize real time. How does one approach a school/house/family for training.


Since you are from DC you might try the crucible, br and a few other groups.

I will message you with the info

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you


Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 1:05:19 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Hi and welcome to the Forums....
 
Training means different things to different people.  In a vanilla sense, learning or being taught a partner's individual preferences and turn-ons etc can be construed as "training".  Within D/s, I equally have individual requirements of my sub (which project beyond just the sexual) and "training" is the act of teaching her what they are.  And because D/s relationships operate under a control dynamic, she also learns the rewards and consequences of performing what's expected of her.
 
However, we are all individuals and my needs (including vanilla turn-ons) are not necessarily the needs of other Dom/mes so what I train her to do may not be of worth to another Dom, and vice-versa.  So whether she's a first day newbie or got a few decades experience, I expect any new sub in my life will need to be trained to suit MY needs.  So training is not some kind of apprenticeship that serves you well for all Dom/es you may interact with beyond giving you some insight to what may be expected of you.
 
So training is best left until you have a Dom/me; you don't need anything beyond willingness to socialise real time.  If it's some high protocol gathering you're wishing to attend, I would think merely stating you have no previous lifestyle experience would be understood and allowances made for.  Someone will undoubtedly "train" you in the house rules and if those rules are not agreeable to you, you always have the right to leave.
 
Focus.

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 1:50:14 PM   
blknovicesub


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Everything that I have read from the replies makes perfect sense. And there are no "schools" offering subbie 101. *s*...however I have read that there are individuals who are uncollared and unowned but are under protection and in training/being mentored...I guess that I have to continue to sort thro all of the jargon. However like someone mentioned above different terminologies mean different things to different people. In terms of going to the Crucible or attenting a Black Rose function...I am shy, and wouldn't dream of attending either such event alone.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 2:49:59 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blknovicesub

Ok, I have been doing alot of researching in the local area, been observing a group of lifestylers from a far for a long time and I am ready to socialize real time. How does one approach a school/house/family for training.


Is it possible to approach the *group of lifestylers* as simply someone who's new and interested?

What ideas do you have about training and what do you think it might entail?

agirl

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 3:07:26 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not sure about the groups or clubs mentioned, but all of the larger clubs/events that I've attended have offered a sort of "escort" to help you meet people and feel more comfortable. Call them on the phone and tell them you're shy, but would like to attend. What would they reccomend? Do they have anything like what I mentioned?
 
 

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 4:15:52 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blknovicesub

Everything that I have read from the replies makes perfect sense. And there are no "schools" offering subbie 101.


Not True. Check out Master Taino's slave Training Academy. He's located in DC even. I highly recommend the school. The man is one whom I highly respect. I am an alumni of the Master's Training.

http://masterslavetraining.org/home.htm

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 4:20:40 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blknovicesub

Ok, I have been doing alot of researching in the local area, been observing a group of lifestylers from a far for a long time and I am ready to socialize real time. How does one approach a school/house/family for training.


All you have to do is pick someone you like and simply ask them if they're interesting in mentoring. Before you do, think about what that means. Are you looking for a Dominant who will allow you to serve or are you looking for a fellow submissive who will teach you serve by example? How much time are you wanting? What kind if interactions are you wanting (play, service, sex, etc)? This will give the mentor the chance to really see if they have what you need.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Seeking Training - 4/5/2007 11:08:24 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		Get references,, and MORE references..

oh and MORE references

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Seeking Training - 4/6/2007 6:51:16 AM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline 		While i have seen some good advice here. One thing the OP  mentioned in her profile, in fact it was the first thing, is she is shy. Take a shy newbie add a group of lifestylers and what you got? one scared newbie.

In my experience( as i have worked with very shy girls) they need to be eased into this. Going up to a group of lifestylers for her would be way out of her comfort zone. I think sometimes, lifestylers that been in the life forever forget what it is like to be a newb in this lifestyle. I was nervous as hell when i entered it 10 years ago. It was overwhelming like waking up and finding yourself in a different country.  And i was neither shy nor sub.

To the Original Poster(OP): 
The best advice i can give is:
1) take your time and move only as fast as you feel comfortable. We plan on sticking around awhile.
2) Find a dom  that can mentor you , no strings attached. No collars, no committments. Just a guiding hand. Find a Dom in your comfort zone. Some of the Doms on here can seem scary  as hell to a newb. Remember the no strings attached, their are many fakes. So make sure they arent looking for an easy "e-lay" or an easy collar. You dont have to be collared to be guided or helped by a dom.

And good luck!

_____________________________

Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Seeking Training - 4/7/2007 7:44:01 AM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blknovicesub
Ok, I have been doing alot of researching in the local area, been observing a group of lifestylers from a far for a long time and I am ready to socialize real time. How does one approach a school/house/family for training.

My advice would be to approach one of the group, say what you just said here (you been doing a lot of research in the local area and you have been observing them) and tell them you are looking for a mentor. Ask if the individual or if other specific individuals make a practice of mentoring and teaching, and what you would need to do to apply to be part of their family for training.

Good luck dear.

~E

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Seeking Training - 4/7/2007 10:42:54 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blknovicesub

Everything that I have read from the replies makes perfect sense. And there are no "schools" offering subbie 101. *s*...however I have read that there are individuals who are uncollared and unowned but are under protection and in training/being mentored...I guess that I have to continue to sort thro all of the jargon. However like someone mentioned above different terminologies mean different things to different people. In terms of going to the Crucible or attenting a Black Rose function...I am shy, and wouldn't dream of attending either such event alone.


i am in training and under protection with my Dom until i can learn my position and move on to another Master and be collared, but also knowing that his training of me will be different than what i am being taught now.

(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Seeking Training - 4/19/2007 4:29:01 AM   
Tanos


Posts: 25
Joined: 10/20/2004
From: Manchester, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blknovicesub
Ok, I have been doing alot of researching in the local area, been observing a group of lifestylers from a far for a long time and I am ready to socialize real time. How does one approach a school/house/family for training.


For clarification, this sounds like you have that specific group of people in mind? Your emphasis
is on them rather than sources of training per se?

This raises the wider question of what training is, and my current view of slave training
as a concept is teaching the structure of a specific household, since most aspects of this don't generalise
to other households. (Preferences might coincide, but that's coincidence ;) ) and I'm now using Four P's
to summarise what can make up slave training: Protocols, Preferences, Principles and Perceptions.

Since training isn't transferable in the general case (although it may help you learn a new household's
structure faster), it matters a lot whether you're after belonging to that household you mentioned, or
really after training in the hope of being more desirable to others.

Tanos


_____________________________

www.tanos.org.uk


(in reply to blknovicesub)
Profile   Post #: 15
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