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submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/5/2007 9:33:35 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

On one of the threads I was reading there was a mention that someone who submitted to a Dominant who was the same gender meant the submissive was bi-sexual. Sexually I am very heterosexual. To be sexual with a woman is not something I can do. But I will submit to a female Dominant in non-sexual ways and enjoy the experience. I thought it might be interesting to explore how other people dealt with this. What are some of your thoughts?

Post #: 1

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/5/2007 9:51:03 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I can't answer with experience about being dominated by a same-sex Dominant, but for a few years I was collared to a Dominant with almost no sexual interaction. So, no, you wouldn't have to be bi-sexual, only submissive. It depends on the nature of the dynamic, though.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

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(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 2

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 4:58:16 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

Subs who serve a same-sex Dominant arent necessarily bi-sexual. They might be gay or lesbians also.

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 3

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 5:20:08 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I have never had a female play partner. The idea has no appeal.

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Post #: 4

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 5:25:28 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

Not all dominant submissive relationships are based on sex so it's well possible to be straight and serve a dominant of the same sex.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 5

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 5:37:35 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

I am bisexual, but I don't get anything out of being dominated by someone of the same sex. I have never fully figured out why this is, but I have felt this way since I started in all of this. I think for me it's best having women on equal footing (so to speak) rather than above me.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 6

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 5:40:11 AM

oceangem

Posts: 360
Joined: 2/9/2004
From: Mission, BC. Canada
Status: offline

Just last weekend at a dungeon party i was topped by a FemDom it was great!

Would i do it again...sure would.

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she gives a smile when the pain comes... the pain is gonna make everything alright.

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 7

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 6:23:52 AM

simply4You

Posts: 14
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

On one of the threads I was reading there was a mention that someone who submitted to a Dominant who was the same gender meant the submissive was bi-sexual. Sexually I am very heterosexual. To be sexual with a woman is not something I can do. But I will submit to a female Dominant in non-sexual ways and enjoy the experience. I thought it might be interesting to explore how other people dealt with this. What are some of your thoughts?

Good morning sublizzie,

i was with a Domme and while it was sensual it was non-sexual. That was one of Her hard limits coming into me training under Her, one that i readily agreed to as well. It wasn't about sex ... it was about D/s, rituals and protocols in Her home. Serving Her in whatever way She saw fit. i was more nervous going to Her home the first time, that i physically got sick twice before getting there <laughing>.

When i first started looking, i honestly never thought i would or even could be with a female Dominant, but i found She actually raised the bar, so to speak, for any male Dominant who may come along ...

simply_me

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 8

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 6:43:23 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Not all service is sexual so being bi wouldn't have anything to do with it. Even if someone is straight serving the same sex wouldn't makes someone bi. Being bi isn't just about being with the same sex its about a desire to be with both.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 9

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 7:36:17 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Most people find that sex is THE focus of this lifestyle, so they'd naturally find that same sex Ds partners would be non-het. We know, however, that service doesn't HAVE to be sexual. Thus, service doesn't necessarily have to be dependent on sexual orientation. All of the men I'd truly serve are gay, for example. Sex isn't an option even.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 10

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 7:41:09 AM

BayouSub

Posts: 40
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline

I am a submissive male. For most of my life, my submission was directed exclusively to women. Then I came in contact with a very dominant man in my vanilla life. Within a very short time, he seemed to sense my submissiveness and started treating me, in subtle ways, as a subordinate. I fell right into line and when he told me to "do this" I did it and when he told me to "get this" I got it. The more I submitted, the more he dominated me. Nothing overt, mind you, just an unspoken understanding between us that he was the boss. I enjoyed it and I’m sure he did too. I realized then that a man was able to put me into the same type of subspace as a dominant woman. This is not the case with every man or even most men but I certainly enjoy submitting to that select few of very dominant men. I don’t have an attraction for men in general but I am very attracted to these men.

Is this sexual? Definitely. Does that mean it must involve sex? Absolutely not. Most of the men I talking about are straight or fairly straight which also describes me. Just because someone only has sex with the opposite gender does not preclude the enjoyment of dominating or being dominated by the same gender.

< Message edited by BayouSub -- 4/6/2007 7:43:03 AM >

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 11

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 7:42:28 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i have no desire in serving a straight/bi Domme. i have nothing against them merely doesn't suit my interest.

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(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 12

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 7:44:36 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Ive had straight female subs, and we were never more sexually involved than a kiss on the lips when we said hello or goodbye. Hardly what I would consider being bi. I have also had gay male subs. Nothing sexual there, either. For some the experience can be enjoyableeven if there isnt sexual connections. For others the sex is the focus of the control. In that case, without the sexual interest even if there is no actual sexual act.... it wont work.

My 2 semi sleepy cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to BayouSub)

Post #: 13

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 7:58:16 AM

MistressDiane

Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

*fast reply*

I've had many that have served in a non sexual way, male and female. My focus isn't sex and most find it liberating that there is no sexual ~pressure~ or expectations, especially females who don't consider themselves bisexual. Ordinarily they would never consider serving another female because of the sexual element they felt may be involved but once you take that away they thoroughly enjoyed the experience, found we connected on a level they never thought possible and will forever cherish our time together.

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 14

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 5:45:41 PM

sillygirl09

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

I would love to be topped by a woman just to experience it, with or without the sex, but I think I'd prefer with.

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 15

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/6/2007 6:21:04 PM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

I have no bisexual feelings or tendencies at this juncture in my life. However, if Master wished for me to be used by a woman; in any way; I would do so quite happily and eagerly.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 16

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/7/2007 4:36:23 AM

iwearpanties

Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline

as a submissive male i have been with Mitresses but i have long wanted too feel the power of a Male DOM ......i will admittt

(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 17

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/7/2007 4:54:34 AM

subrob1967

Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline

No, I could never submit to another male in a D/s or BDSM senario, it's just not who I am.

(in reply to iwearpanties)

Post #: 18

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/7/2007 5:10:20 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

My Last D/s relationship my Dom was Female and not at all BI - and yet I am.
It was a very rewarding/fullfilling relationship (my family adore her)
The only reason it ended was She moved accross the country

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Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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Post #: 19

RE: submitting to same gender Dom/mes too - 4/7/2007 9:24:25 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

Interesting thread...
When i first embraced my submissive nature, the sexual component was my initial drive...infact i even listed myself as a "bedroom submissive". However, as my journey has progressed, i have linked my submission to a deeper center; service has become more important to me as the phrases "well done, girl" and " I am pleased" have a greater effect on me. That being said, i feel submitting service wise is non gender based for me and both Dom and Domme would recieve 100% of myself in service.

Sexually, well that is always an adventure and there is so much that i have not experienced yet - i would hate to limit myself on a journey of self-exploration :-)
j

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 20

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