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Where are the moderators? - 4/17/2005 7:26:48 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		You just have to look at the Positive Experiences section to see no one has gone there in 11 days to approve messages.

A few days ago, a few of us requested that a thread be moved from the General BDSM discussion to the lounge as it had nothing to do with BDSM. Four pages later, it's still there.

Don't get me wrong. I adore collarme and I've been here for over 9 months and I've made great acquaintances and even a few friends. Many of them have left because they don't like what these boards have become over the last few months.

There are no moderators here to keep the shit disturbers in line. I'm not advocating strong censorship, but there is a need for monitoring.

I'm not one to make demands on a free service. But I want to know if the mods have jumped ship. This is a community that requires leadership. I have volunteered my help. Twice now I have approached moderators saying that if they need moderator help, I'd lend a hand. I know how to wear a participant hat and a moderator hat at the same time. Perhaps I don't fit the moderator profile, fine. But other people who visit this site on an almost daily basis surely do and would be glad to moderate.

The point is, something has got to change soon. Because I believe members here are feeling neglected. And regardless of whether or not this is a free or paid site, it needs a certain amount of structure. I am willing to be part of the solution, so who do I address my solutions to in the absence of moderators?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/17/2005 7:53:51 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		While i do believe we need the Moderators on the board...i do not believe they are the end all to the answers here.
quote:

There are no moderators here to keep the shit disturbers in line

I believe that each of us have a role in keeping the peace so to speak. There are going to be people that come and go on this site (hell, most sites that i know) that want nothing more than to stir the pot...get their own validation from what they feel moves themselves. It is up to us as a member of this site to either sit in front of the computer and banter back and forth with the "shit disturbers" or to make the decision to just ignore them.
I know this is not an easy thing to do, i am at fault on this also from time to time. The thing people need to realise is that these people get their kicks out of making you mad....making you respond...making you take the time to type.

I wish i had an easy answer for all this, i wish that the Mods were here to fix it...but ya know what? even if they pull a thread....give a warning...hell, banish a person.....what's that really going to do? keep the peace for a few more weeks/months? ehh, perhaps. There will ALWAYS be another "shit disturber".
It's up to us.

(please know that i am not making a judgement o you or anyone else here on this, i have just been around the net for enough years that i have seen this type of thing over and over again..this is just how 'i' truly feel about all this.)

Happy Sunday y'all...

~smilezz~

< Message edited by smilezz -- 4/17/2005 8:00:50 AM >

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(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/17/2005 9:24:03 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

There are no moderators here to keep the shit disturbers in line. I'm not advocating strong censorship, but there is a need for monitoring.


LA,
I'm sure your request is not a cry in the wilderness. I'd bet there is a BIG tug of war occurring with the people behind the curtains here at CollarMe. Just look at the numbers.

As of this morning 110,305 members. Sure not everyone posts, but someone had to look at 110,305 profiles, their updates, and photos. Daily posts to the message boards must approach or exceed 1,000. Then there is the chat area, review of journal updates, and new pictures. All this activity monitored by less than 10 individuals. I know of Mod 8, but never have encountered 9 or 10 so I think it's safe to assume a number less than 10. All, I'm sure, with a life outside of CollarMe. Then there is the another side of the issue.

Like you, I have offered to assist either as a Moderator or profile reviewer. I got to the stage of being referred to the site rules and was told there was an orientation, but I never got beyond that point. Those that disagree with my political stance, or my approach to the lifestyle, or even have no appreciation of NYC sarcasm are eternally grateful I'm sure but it illustrates the problem that the site has.

When the group was formed I'd bet that all the Mods had the opportunity to meet face to face, or at least had a long established dialog. The dogma of the site was the common goal they shared. Not necessarily in the written words of the rules, but the true intent behind them. It is a VERY difficult thing to allow 'outsiders' into that clique no matter how desperate you may be for help. It's akin to going from on-line to real time. How much do you have to trust someone before you bare yourself completely and expose your vulnerability? When it comes to a computer site, you better be able to trust unconditionally. I don't know how quickly I'd be willing to do that, no matter how desperate I was or no matter how backed up the site became. And then there is another factor the runners of this site must consider.

I've visited the other site, you know the site that will remain nameless that went to being a pay site. It was interesting to see a couple of threads from people, whose names and avatar symbols all us 'regulars' would recognize. There, this site and the way it's run is ridiculed. They appreciate that many of the trolls and juvenile flamers have migrated to CollarMe, and are happy to not have to deal with them there. It's a argument for making this site a pay site, but it is tame considering the other, and more insidious activity that is discussed. There are a few who relate stories of only posting here to start a flame war. Whose goal is to be "banned" or cause the site to get flooded with posts unrelated to the lifestyle and frustrate those who don't want to wade through a haystack of chaff to get to a kernel of wheat. I've even found sites exclusively dedicated to starting flame wars and keep 'score' by tracking how many times they've been banned from various sites. Based on some of the posts here over the last 6 months is there any doubt some of that may have taken place at CollarMe?

It's a dilemma. Do the decision makers at CollarMe stem the tide by adding more people to pile sandbags hoping they will stay true to the "Mission Statement", or do they just wait for the tide to recede, hoping when it does for the people to come back to the beach, put down their blankets and enjoy the free sunshine? The other option, making it a "paid beach" would work, but then the innocence and freedom that is at the foundation of CollarMe, would be lost.

Good luck to the CollarMe Mods in their decision. It is times like this that I'm glad my application to serve was found 'wanting'.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/17/2005 2:05:09 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		Merc & beth,

I understand much of what you are saying. In my personal opinion, collarme.com could stay a free site if it let people who have proven themselves to be trustworthy and dedicated to this site in.

quote:

How much do you have to trust someone before you bare yourself completely and expose your vulnerability? When it comes to a computer site, you better be able to trust unconditionally. I don't know how quickly I'd be willing to do that, no matter how desperate I was or no matter how backed up the site became. And then there is another factor the runners of this site must consider.


I'm not saying give someone carte blanche. There are levels of access. I'd like to think that many of the regulars here have good judgement. Why not at least approach a few of them and see if they'd like to approve the positive experiences section? Come on... 11 days? I invite my friend Rapier here and he posts something and 11 days later it is still pending approval. For the record, he isn't complaining. He simply asked me if this was normal.

I have run many volunteer based organisations. Just because you are offering a free service, doesn't mean you get to neglect your users. I can totally understand limited resources. I am not saying that the moderators don't do a good job. I've appreciated their interventions to date. I'm not expecting the current moderators to spend more time online. I'm simply suggesting that they let more trustworthy people in. I can totally understand wanting to get the right people on board. But the system needs to work a little more efficiently then this if it's going to survive.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/17/2005 3:37:43 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I agree with smilezz. Having moderated forums creates the illusion that there is vigilant monitoring and that the shit stirrers will be dealt with quickly. I think that actually helps them get a rise out of people who happen to pay attention to them thinking it is a "safe" environment. If folks didn't feel so protected, they might be a bit more alert to such nonsense.

I also read the soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm newsgroup and that is unmoderated. There the regular posters police it -- they notify the ISPs of spammers, they crap on folks posting personal ads, and they mock and humiliate the shit stirrers. Still, I think some folks like having their shit stirred and so will jump in and argue, but it is easy enough to ignore all that just as it is easy enough to block the jerks here and ignore pissing contests.

Of course, I'm not saying everyone has enough sense to do that, but it doesn't bother me. But that may be because I'm a bit of a shit stirrer myself, and so I *think* I can distinguish between the genuinely stupid and the shit stirrer saying stupid stuff just to annoy people.

As for approving the Positive Experiences posts -- I don't even understand why they bother. If someone wanted to put a less than positive comment about someone else, they could just plop it in another section. It would get yanked eventually, so why not just yank bullshit from that section instead pf pre-approving posts?



_____________________________

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(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/17/2005 3:41:46 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

I agree with smilezz. Having moderated forums creates the illusion that there is vigilant monitoring and that the shit stirrers will be dealt with quickly. I think that actually helps them get a rise out of people who happen to pay attention to them thinking it is a "safe" environment. If folks didn't feel so protected, they might be a bit more alert to such nonsense.


You and smilezz make a very good point. I guess I'm just tired of tiptoeing in all the crap to get to the interesting parts of a discussion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert
As for approving the Positive Experiences posts -- I don't even understand why they bother. If someone wanted to put a less than positive comment about someone else, they could just plop it in another section. It would get yanked eventually, so why not just yank bullshit from that section instead pf pre-approving posts?


My thoughts exactly.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/18/2005 7:33:55 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		I empathize with the moderators also, and the reviewers for new profiles etc. I also realize they are backed up, which is why I volunteered my services almost 2 weeks ago as a reviewer. I understand they are backed up (which is why I volunteered), but they are so far behind apparently they have not responded at all to my offer. I have not been on this site as long as a lot of others, so if they were uncertain as to my abilities, I would think that some of you that have offered that have been on site, would be trustworthy enough to be able to fill the need. I am on a pay site also, and must say, there are pros and cons to both sites. I will say though, that if the backlog could be taken care of more quickly on this site, it would outshine the other by far....

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/18/2005 9:26:59 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		....they moved the thread but didn't make any comment on content.

I am confused. This is so out of character.

Mods, I hope all is well with you and yours.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/18/2005 10:25:32 AM   
roughleather


Posts: 232
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		Yes. We need a crackdown on the people who can't spell, the overweight whiners, and the "cyber domination" types. Then this could be fun again.



(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/18/2005 10:58:26 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well, not for nothing, but if you guys would stop feeding the trolls, the thread wouldn't get to *be* four pages long. For a thread to die...all it takes is people not responding to it.

Honestly...do you really want every thread where there is a minor disagreement or a clash of personalities locked or moved? You'll find this same situation anywhere you go online...whether it be lifestyle related or talking about shoe collecting. Its just the nature of the beast. If you don't want to read it...simply don't continue to go back to the thread reading and responding.


best regards,
f



_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to roughleather)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/18/2005 4:30:52 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate
Well, not for nothing, but if you guys would stop feeding the trolls, the thread wouldn't get to *be* four pages long. For a thread to die...all it takes is people not responding to it.


I have thrown a few crumbs. Guilty as charged. Most that have gone all out aren't participating to this thread unfortunately. Regardless. The fact is that this board was built on the concept that there would be moderators. And now they have dissapeared. It is not structured for self-moderation. If that is the intent, they should make a statement to that effect.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate
Honestly...do you really want every thread where there is a minor disagreement or a clash of personalities locked or moved?


Nope. Read my original post. My first concern was the lack of approving posts, that have now been lagging for 2 weeks. As HP pointed out, there is no rationale why these require approval. People can spew on about negative experiences everywhere else. And trust me, they do!

My second concern was that threads redirected to the appropriate area. Obviously, most people don't know where to post. See... I could have started this thread in General BDSM where it would have gotten way more attention. But I didn't. I have figured out where things go. Seems so simple huh? Unfortunately, the people here have not figured that out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate
You'll find this same situation anywhere you go online...whether it be lifestyle related or talking about shoe collecting. Its just the nature of the beast. If you don't want to read it...simply don't continue to go back to the thread reading and responding.


I agree with you. However, we aren't just a bunch of posts. We are building a community here. I have done a few years of research on online community building and a few things I can share with you are that they can be emotional, intense and that they require some kind of moderation, even if that is self-moderation. But as I said earlier on, this community was not set up for self-moderation. Just the approval processes of certain posts is proof.

Again, I'm not trying to trash the mods nor the owners of collarme. I think what this thread shows is that many of us would like to be a part of the solution. Hopefully you will let us help you make this community a better place.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/18/2005 4:34:59 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Honestly...do you really want every thread where there is a minor disagreement or a clash of personalities locked or moved?

f


Yes, and I want my burgers cooked well done, my steaks cooked rare, my whites bleached, my friends funny, my car washed and waxed by a sexy boy...the list is really endless ;)

Sorry I couldn't help myself f....of course I don't want them to look at everything with a fine tooth comb, I'm just teasing you.

L





_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/21/2005 7:52:09 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily


Yes, and I want my burgers cooked well done, my steaks cooked rare, my whites bleached, my friends funny, my car washed and waxed by a sexy boy...the list is really endless ;)



Lily...you need a slave...lol.


f


_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Where are the moderators? - 4/21/2005 11:39:01 AM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate


quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily


Yes, and I want my burgers cooked well done, my steaks cooked rare, my whites bleached, my friends funny, my car washed and waxed by a sexy boy...the list is really endless ;)



Lily...you need a slave...lol.


f



Oooh! I'm next in line.

Let's see... cheeseburgers well done, most definitely... steak tender, pretty well done. Whites bleached but more importantly I'd like my blacks to stay black... none of this fade to grey nonsense.

A few funny friends... a few over the top friends... and plenty of friends with cars until I get my license.

I want a pool boy even though I don't have a pool... and as the lovely Lily has said the list is really endless...


_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 14
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